


Everything on Fire

by Anonymous



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Injury, Lots of crying here, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Canon, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Skater!Yuuri, Skater/Coach!Victor, Slow Burn, Soulmates, some smut happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:10:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In an alternate universe where the physical closeness between two soulmates is measured by body temperature, Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov have spent their entire lives chasing after fleeting moments of warmth. As they grow older, their actions begin to draw them towards each other in a blind search for their anonymous soulmate, and the eventual release from the relentless cold which will be granted by their union.





	1. Warmups

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've written in about seven years. I'm quite new to AO3 but I'm figuring things out. This fic is does not have a beta reader so please excuse any awkward grammar and typing mistakes; I've tried my best to proof read but I know I have undoubtably missed some stuff. I update this fic at least once a week.
> 
> Comments are really appreciated, especially since I'm just getting back into writing fanfic - I can definitely use the feedback and motivation. 
> 
> ***
> 
> A few notes on the workings of the universe:
> 
> -> Heat increases as you move closer to your soulmate  
> -> Skin to skin contact with your soulmate can feel uncomfortably hot the first few times you touch each other  
> -> People who are located very far away from their soulmate constantly feel cold  
> -> After spending a prolonged period of time with your soulmate the heat begins to fade from an overwhelming heat to a more gentle and pleasant warmth  
> -> You can sometimes tell if your soulmate is spending a lot of time thinking about you because your cheeks and scalp will tingle and feel hot for no other reason  
> -> Actions that have the potential to bring two soulmates closer together can be recognized because the body temperature of the two soulmates increases when these actions are taken

Yuuri Katsuki was born on November 29th, 1992 in the town of Hasetsu, in the region of Kyushu, Japan. When he was delivered into the world his skin was a sickly blue and his small body felt stiff and cold. His doctor and nurses worked hard to raise his body temperature by rubbing his skin vigorously with warm dry towels and bundling him tightly in clothes and blankets. Although his skin tone did eventually shift away from the worrisome blue tone to a more natural warm tan, his body temperature remained well below that of most healthy newborns. Yuuri’s mother Hiroko kept her son close to her own warm skin for weeks after his birth. She fretted over her inability to warm her son’s body and her husband Toshiya scoured the medical literature in search of diseases and disorders that might explain his child’s low body temperature.

Yuuri’s parents brought him back to the hospital frequently in the weeks following his birth and pestered the doctors with questions and worries. The doctor who had delivered Yuuri remarked on his unique state and admitted he had never come across a baby with Yuuri’s condition before, but assured Hiroko and Toshiya there were no other signs that Yuuri was anything other than a normal thriving baby. Yuuri had a very healthy appetite and was ahead of the pack in terms of growth and development. So his parents decided to push aside their worries as much as possible and focus on raising a happy and vibrant son.

Yuuri’s 6-year-old sister Mari was fascinated by her new baby brother. On summer days she would rest her hot forehead against Yuuri’s icy cheek, and in the winter she would wrap her warm fingers around Yuuri’s painfully frigid hands until his crying stopped. Yuuri loved being picked up and held by his sister and parents as their body heat slowly sank into his chilly skin. Once Yuuri was old enough to be trusted around deep water his parents had allowed him to soak in the hot springs that were just outside the Katsuki family inn where they lived and made their livelihood. During the colder months Yuuri could find himself spending hours each day in the hot springs or nestled under the kotatsu inside.

When Mari approached her twelfth birthday her attention began to shift away from her 6-year-old baby brother and towards the exciting world of crushes, dating, and soulmates. Mari’s interest in such things had piqued during a class field trip to Itoshima. Mari had noticed during the bus ride that the heat had been turned up too high on the bus. She had begun to feel a bit uncomfortable and wanted to shed her wool cardigan but she knew removing any part of her uniform would be prohibited during a school outing. By the time the class had arrived at their destination Mari was feeling sweaty and overheated. None of her other classmates seemed to be uncomfortable in the spring weather and Mari worried that perhaps she might be getting sick. She spent the afternoon exploring shops and parks in Itoshima and buying cold drinks and ice cream anywhere she could get some.

Mari settled on a park bench near a small pond where a comfortable breeze cooled her forehead and a number of high school students tossed pieces of bread towards bobbing ducks. She sipped an ice-cold canned drink and tried to concentrate on the cool breeze but the right side of her face seemed to burn with renewed heat. She opened her eyes and looked to her right where the high school boys were laughing and watching the ducks. Her eyes locked onto a black haired boy who was tugging at the tie around his throat in an attempt to loosen it. He ran the back of his hand over his forehead and pulled the fabric of his school uniform away from his body as if he was trying to dry sweaty skin. The boy looked up and his gaze lined up with Mari’s staring eyes. Instantly there was a pulse of heat at the front of her face. Mari stood up from the bench and felt a strong compulsion to walk towards the strange boy. Each step brought upon the pair a new wave of heat. When Mari and the boy met each other they pressed their palms together and felt a searing heat so intense it nearly brought tears to their eyes. She had found her soulmate.

Mari came home that evening in a flurry of excitement and joy. Her parents hugged her and celebrated the lucky discovery by presenting a dozen different plates of her favorite foods. Yuuri didn’t understand what the excitement was about until his parents sat him down to explain the concept of soulmates and the physiological responses that went along with connecting with ones soulmate. Hiroko explained that everyone on the planet was born with an invisible connection to another person somewhere else in the world. That connection was powerful, and more importantly, it was the source of vital heat essential to a healthy life.

“Yuuri, meeting ones soulmate allows the pair to thrive and reach their full potential both individually and as a couple. In some ways vital heat results from strong feelings of love, so interactions between any two people who care deeply about each other can bring about warmth when these people touch or are nearby.”

Yuuri listened closely to his mother’s explanation. Despite the fact that the vocabulary she used to explain the idea of soulmates was quite advanced, Yuuri felt that he could understand most of what she was trying to tell him. He thought about what his mother had just said of vital heat and love – this phenomenon explained why Yuuri felt much warmer when he was in the arms of his parents or holding the hand of his older sister or best friend Yuuko. But Hiroko emphasized the difference between the vital heat that came from familial and friendly love and the intense burning vital heat that was a result of connecting with your soulmate.

“You will know when you’re starting to get closer to the place where your soulmate is because the vital heat will begin to build inside your body. This response helps us in our search for the person we are destined to spend the rest of our lives with. Yuuri – it’s very important that we work hard find this other person, because many believe those individuals who fail to find their soulmates will eventually become very weak and sickly. There are legends that people who couldn’t find their soulmate, or whose soulmate have passed away unexpectedly, became sick enough from the lack of vital heat in their bodies that they eventually passed away.”

Yuuri felt like he was going to be sick once his mother had finished her explanation of soulmates and vital heat. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around what had just been revealed to him. If you didn’t find your soulmate you could get sick and die – how terrifying! Yuuri sat through the rest of dinner in silence. When his mother brought out the warm grilled mochi, which was normally Yuuri’s favorite desert, he didn’t even acknowledge the plate set in front of him. Hiroko knew something was wrong, “Yuuri, what’s on your mind? It seems like something is bothering you.”

Yuuri shook his head weakly and looked down at his hands. He could feel tears welling behind his eyes.

“Sweetie, it’s okay. Yuuri, you can tell your mama anything!”

Yuuri felt hot tears streak down his cold cheeks as he looked up at his mother. “Mama, I think I’m going to die!” Yuuri sobbed.

“What!? Yuuri, no of course you’re not sweetie. Why would you think that?” Hiroko had wrapped her arms around her young son out of concern and shock.

“I must not have a soulmate…” Yuuri confessed, “I’m cold-child! I’ve heard people calling me that, even if it only came from behind my back.”

Hiroko hugged her son tightly, “Nonsense Yuuri. That's not what you are, you can feel the warmth of the love from your father and me can’t you? And from Mari and Yuuko and Minako-sensei too. You can feel our love and we can feel your own love as well. A 'cold-child' cannot feel heat from love, and they don’t radiate any vital heat either. They’re sad souls, it’s very tragic really, but also incredibly rare. So don’t spend any more time worrying about that Yuuri! You will find your soulmate one day, I promise you!”

Yuuri hugged his mother’s warm form tightly. His insides felt icy and hard, and Yuuri wasn’t completely convinced that what his mother was saying was true, but it did give him enough hope to dry his eyes and reassure his mother that he felt a little better.

* * *

If victor had his way he would never step off the ice again. When he was skating he felt alive – the strokes of his heart were stronger, his muscles powerful and elastic, and in these moments he was on fire. He relished the sensation of heat as it spread upwards from the soles of his feet and through legs, warming his core, and radiating outward to his fingertips. Skating was the only thing that ever gave him this type of feeling. Otherwise, he generally just felt really cold.

The experience of heat on the ice grew even stronger when he was skating in front of an audience and a film crew. The hundreds of thousands of eyes glued to his body and movements gave him a sort of ecstatic burn that invigorated his routine and lifted his spirits. He figured the source of this delicious heat could be linked back to the connection with his soulmate. At first he thought the feeling indicated that his soulmate was watching him from somewhere in the audience and he would end each routine by circling the rink slowly, moving his eyes in sweeping motions across the faces of as many audience members as possible in search of the searing heat that would inevitably come about when he made eye contact with his soulmate.

Eventually Victor realized how unlikely it would be for his soulmate to be following him around the world, attending each and every one of his performances in person. He came to the conclusion that his soulmate must indeed be a big fan of his, but his other half was most likely watching his performances from afar via live television and internet broadcasts. Still, knowing his soulmate made time to tune into every one of Victors performances from wherever they lived in the world made him feel giddy.

Victor loved knowing his ice skating was a direct connection to his soulmate and he wouldn’t give up the sport for any reason. Days when his coach pushed him just a little too far were hard on Victor, and he often thought about how his childhood had been discarded in favor of a future career in skating, but the knowledge that his current path would eventually lead him into the arms of his soulmate was more than enough fuel to keep the fire of his love for skating blazing bright.

When Victor’s plane landed in Sochi on the eve of his fifth Grand Prix Final he felt the heat creeping up inside of his chest, stronger than it had ever been before. As the plane coasted increasingly slowly along the runway Victor spun around in his seat to face his coach Yakov in the row behind him.

“It’s happening now Yakov! I’m so close to them, I can feel it.” Victor stated breathlessly.

Yakov waved his hand dismissively at Victor’s excitement, “Just concentrate on your skating Vitya, you don’t have time for distractions right now.”

Victor scrunched his eyebrows together and frowned at Yakov, “Don’t you care!? I’m going to be meeting my soulmate Yakov, nothing could possibly be more important! It won’t interfere with my skating, if anything, knowing he’s near will make me skate better than ever.”

Victor had known for many years now that his soulmate would be another man. Family and friends had questioned his certainty and grimaced at the thought of Victor’s sexuality becoming the source of international gossip, but Victor had realized he was gay in his early teens and knew it was a sure sign his soulmate would not be one of his lusting female fans. He had never gone public with this information and he knew there was a bit of a risk involved in being a well-known international figure while also being openly gay. That being said, it was also generally accepted globally that soulmates were an integral part of every human being’s life and it was no more a personal choice to be paired with a same-sex soulmate than a different-sex soulmate.

Certain countries held more conservative views about expressing homosexual relationships publicly. In Victor’s country of Russia the pairings were tolerated so long as the couple’s affections for each other remained behind closed doors. Victor was very aware of the fact that finally meeting his soulmate during this weekend’s competition could spell disaster for any future he might have in figure skating. He knew this, but he hardly cared anymore. He had been skating competitively for twenty years now, and he had been focused on very little more than skating in all that time.

He loved skating, he loved the ice, the music and the movements, but competition was draining and demanding. In the past his loneliness and desperation to win had been worth it, because every step he took towards success in the field of figure skating meant a step towards the warmth and love that he would eventually gain from his soulmate. He gave up the chance to make friends, go outside to play, vacation with his family, and explore other interests because he needed to focus all of his time and attention on skating in order to reach the very top position in his sport. Now he was closer than ever, with four Grand Prix Final wins under his belt, and four World Championships, there would never be a better time for him to connect with his soulmate at last and let go of the isolation and frustration that had dominated his life for twenty years.

Victor stepped into the lobby of the hotel that had been reserved exclusively for the Grand Prix Final competitors and their families, and felt a wave of pleasurable heat overtake his normally chilled body.


	2. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With only a little more than a day left before the beginning of the Sochi Grand Prix Finals Yuuri and Victor find themselves overcome by the heat of the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter and for the comments and support. I'm back with chapter 2 and a few more small details about the universe in which this fic takes place:
> 
> -> It is rare for soulmates to be born great distances away from each other; in most cases a person’s soulmate lives in the same or a neighboring country.  
> -> A person can derive warmth from other people who care deeply about them like family members and close friends, but this warmth is quite mild in comparison to the burning heat that one experiences when touching their soulmate  
> -> Some people think that prolonged periods of time spent very far away from ones soulmate can result in permanent illness and, in extreme cases, even death. The elderly and very young populations are the most susceptible to this effect. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry my chapters are on the short side! I'm going to push myself to write chapters that are a bit longer from here on out. Also, I'll continue to try to stick to a bi-weekly update schedule so the new chapters will be released quickly and predictably. Thanks again for reading!
> 
> The story is not beta'd

Yuuri was attempting to nap in his hotel room after arriving in Sochi earlier that day. It was still early evening in the new time zone but Yuuri’s body was set eight hours behind, he hadn’t slept the night before, and he was feeling heavy with exhaustion. He wrapped himself in the hotel comforter and drifted into the darkness behind his eyelids. He slept lightly for an hour, but woke frequently throughout, and finally decided to get up from bed when he noticed the sheets were damp with sweat.

Yuuri walked into the small hotel bathroom and flicked on the lights. The face that started back at him in the mirror was flushed and sticky with perspiration. Yuuri frowned at his reflection and ran his fingers through his own sweaty bangs before turning on the tap and splashing his face with cold water. He cupped some of the cool water in the palms of his hands and sucked it into his mouth; it felt remarkably refreshing as it trickled down the back of his throat.

“I better not be getting sick, now of all times.” Yuuri whispered to himself as he stood alone, water droplets falling from his nose.

It wouldn’t be too unexpected if he did end up with a fever right before a competition, considering Yuuri had always had a poor immune system and was sensitive to stress and sleep-loss. Times when Yuuri did develop fevers as a child were always challenging because the symptom of his illnesses presented itself differently in his cold body than it did in most other children. When Yuuri had a fever he experienced his body as feeling uncomfortably tight, warm, and too dry, but if someone rested a hand on his forehead or measured his temperature with a thermometer he would appear totally normal. If a teacher or nurse didn’t understand Yuuri’s baseline body temperature was so much lower than that of most children his age, they would usually dismiss his complaints of feeling sick as an attempt to get out of school or a cry for attention.

Yuuri struggled to rip the thin plastic covering off of a paper cup that had been left beside the sink, then he filled the cup with cold water and gulped it down several times over. The hydration did help him feel a little better so he brushed his teeth with minty toothpaste, applied a liberal amount of balm to his lips, and made his way back into bed. The sheets had cooled to the touch by the time Yuuri returned. He laid his head against the clean pillow and drifted off to sleep almost instantly.

Yuuri awoke for the second time that evening feeling much worse than he had before. He was sweaty again, his shirt soaked through, and his throat burned just behind his tongue. He groaned, curling himself into a ball on the bed and snatching his phone off of the bedside table. He scrolled through his contacts for a moment, punched at a name under his ‘recent’ list, and lifted the phone to his ear.

“Yuuri! How has your evening been, what do you need?” Yuuri’s coach Celestino asked through the phone.

“Hi coach, I’m really sorry to bother you on your night off. I’m actually not feeling very well, I think I have some type of flu. I’m sorry… I hope I don’t end up ruining everything we’ve worked for.” Yuuri answered glumly, rubbing the sting of sweat from his eyes and clenching his teeth at the dull throb building in his temples.

“What? Don’t say that Yuuri! You can’t help it if you’ve come down with something.” Celestino reminded him. “Wait in your room. What can I bring you? You probably just need a good night’s sleep and some nutrition in your body. The competition isn’t for another day so you have time to rest.”

Yuuri nodded his head with the phone pressed against his ear until he remembered that Celestino couldn’t see his gestural response, “I know, you’re right – I just feel awful all of a sudden. I could probably use some type of sports drink, anything cold really. I think I have a bad fever.”

“No problem, I’ll be up in a few minutes okay? Hang in there Yuuri.” Celestino replied.

“Thanks coach, I owe you one.” Yuuri answered.

Yuuri laid in the dim light of his room and waited for Celestino’s knock at the door. He was definitely much sicker than he had initially thought. His headache was growing increasingly worse and his body had begun to tremble from the fever. Yuuri pressed the palms of his hands over his closed eyes and concentrated on taking deep breathes to help quell the sick feeling in his stomach. He imagined the disaster that would likely result rom him trying to perform his short program while feeling so sick, when a new wave of warmth rushed through his body, but this sensation was much more pleasurable than his fever.

Yuuri shot up in bed and gripped the sheets as waves of gentle heat coursed through his body. This warmth radiated from his core, spreading through his muscles and to his skin in swirls like the soft breath of a lover. The new warmth overcame the fever’s grasp on Yuuri’s body, and seemed to dry his skin of the clammy sweat from the sickness. Yuuri’s heart pounded, pumping the deliciously hot blood from his chest to his toes and fingertips, and his breathing rate increased, the air felt rich and slipped into his lungs easily.

A sudden noise against the door startled Yuuri, “Knock-knock, it’s me! Are you holding up alright?” Celestino’s voice seeped into the room from the hallway.

Yuuri nearly tripped pushing himself up from the bed and stumbling towards the door to let Celestino inside. He unlocked the bolt and opened the door to see his concerned-looking coach holding up a plastic bag from a nearby convenience store that was filled with various electrolyte beverages, a box of popsicles, and a few other supplies. Celestino’s face looked surprised when he laid eyes on his student, “Yuuri! You look worse than you sounded on the phone! You’re face is so pale. Go and lay down now!”

Yuuri nodded before retreating back into the messy nest of sheets and blankets that was his bed. Celestino flicked on the lights in the hotel room and set the bag of supplies on a table. Yuuri’s mind struggled to make sense of the conflicting sensations racing throughout his body. His stomach still felt a little nauseous and his dull headache persisted, but most of his body had been overwhelmed by the new, more pleasurable, heat.

Yuuri looked up at Celestino with a panicked expression on his face, “I think it’s happening coach. Uh, ah – I think my soulmate is really close right now.” Yuuri shifted his eyes down in embarrassment and felt his face flush red.

Celestino stared at Yuuri’s face for a moment before answering, “What! That’s good, no that’s great Yuuri! So it’s not a fever after all?” he exclaimed excitedly.

“Ah, no I’m sorry, I’m definitely still sick too. When I called you I was feeling awful but then suddenly something came over me. I don’t know what else it could be. I’ve never felt like this before.”

Celestino placed his thumb and index finger against his chin and looked up at the ceiling in thought. “Well the timing is a little inconvenient considering the competition, but I suppose this makes the most sense. If the sensations are this strong already I would guess your soulmate is staying in this hotel right now. And since the only guests staying here are competitors, their coaches, and family, we shouldn’t have too much trouble tracking them down.”

Yuuri felt a ball of nervousness settle in his stomach. He wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate now! His soulmate was supposed to be the love of his life, his best friend, and the missing piece of his heart. And right now Yuuri felt shell-shocked and confused, unprepared, and he was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that he also just felt really nauseous. “I can’t right now coach! It’s the finals, and I’m sick! I don’t want them to catch whatever I have. What if they’re competing too?”

This last thought inspired a new spark of panic in Yuuri as he mentally went through the lineup of the six competitors who had progressed to the final stage of the Sochi Grand Prix Final: Cao Bin, Michele Crispino, Jean Jacques Leroy, Yuuri himself, Christophe Giacometti, and finally … Victor Nikiforov. Yuuri swallowed a hard lump in his throat as he allowed himself to imagine the potential scenarios in which his soulmate was revealed to be one of his fellow competitors.

Yuuri felt his face flush red again as an intrusive and highly embarrassing thought swarmed his mind. Out of the five other competitors in the final Yuuri knew without a doubt which person he would most prefer to play the part of his soulmate. It was a desperate thought, filled painful stabs of longing, and tainted with the fear of rejection and disappointment. Yuuri had watched every single one of Victor Nikiforov’s broadcasted performances over the past ten years. He taped posters of Victor on the walls of his childhood bedroom and those of his college dorm in Detroit. He scoured the internet for clips of Victor’s interviews, candid photos, and practically any other type of information about Victor he could get his hands on. Victor was everything Yuuri wanted for himself, and Victor was everything that Yuuri could ever want in soulmate.

Yuuri considered the maximum number of people that could be staying in the hotel during the Grand Prix Final weekend. No more than a couple hundred surely; and then if he narrowed that generous number down to just the men staying in the hotel – Yuuri really did not want to discuss this particular detail of his potential soulmate with Celestino at the moment. He hadn’t actually come out to many people in his real life at this point in time.

Yuuri spent so much of his adolescence training and studying that he hadn’t put a lot of effort into thinking about relationships and dating during his teenage years. It was only in the last several years that Yuuri had come to the shaky conclusion that he was really only attracted to men. He noticed girls he considered to be cute and attractive, but he never had desires to move his relationships with women towards anything other than friendship. His childhood best friend Yuuko was an incredibly important person in Yuuri’s life, but he always admired her as a role model, or maybe someone like a sister despite his family’s persistent jokes of budding romance between the two young friends.

Celestino’s voice disrupted Yuuri’s train of thought and returned him to the present moment where his insides throbbed with pain and sickness while the rest of his body enjoyed the tickling sensation like warm invisible caresses. “I suppose you’re right about not wanting to spread an illness to the other competitors. And it’ll be better for you to rest as much as possible between now and the short program, we can address the issue of your soulmate once the competition has ended. I think we’re going to have to skip most of the slotted practice times. It’s going to be challenging, but I believe in you Yuuri!”

Yuuri felt a bit of relief knowing that Celestino wasn’t going to force him to go searching for his soulmate in the hotel at that moment, but the thought of doing nothing other than resting for the next 36+ hours gave rise to an entirely new explosion of anxiety. He had no idea how he was going to attempt to perform his program with hardly any practice sessions, flu symptoms dragging down his body, and the distraction that was the new sensation of pulsating heat rolling from head to toe.

Yuuri choked out a response to Celestino’s confident declaration, “Thanks coach.”

Celestino encouraged Yuuri to drink some of the tonic-like beverages he had bought from the convenience store and then ordered Yuuri to get some sleep before leaving the 22 year-old skater alone in his hotel room once again. Yuuri switched the lights off and crawled into his disheveled bed for the third time that night. He fell asleep quickly and dreamt of soaking in the hot springs at home and sipping mug after mug of hot spiced tea.

* * *

Victor’s mind was buzzing with anticipating and excitement. He had checked into his hotel room and dropped off his luggage as quickly as possible and now he was happily wandering around the building with no particular destination in mind. He practically danced his way along the halls bordered by hotel room doors, stopping every few minutes to concentrate on the feeling of heat in his body. His room was on the third floor, but it seemed like with every additional floor Victor climbed upwards, the more intense the warmth spreading outwards from his navel grew to be. On the seventh floor of the hotel his body practically ignited with a feeling of tingling heat that stung his scalp and rippled down his spine.

He walked slowly down the hallways of the hotel, pausing briefly in front of every numbered door in his path. The sensation of his body’s vital heat grew stronger as he moved towards the door labeled 719. The intensity of the heat had grown to a point nearing discomfort rather than comfort or pleasure. Victor stood outside the door for several minutes in silence, trying to adjust to the new feeling coursing through his body, before knocking gently against the white paint of the wooden door.

There was no response from within the room, but Victor knew with certainty that his soulmate was just inside. He knocked again, a bit harder, and then pressed the palm of his hand against the door. His hand burned with steady heat. He leaned his forehead against the wood of the door and spoke quietly, “Hello? I’m sorry for showing up so suddenly; I really want to meet you. I’ve waited so long to find out who you are.” Victor waited a while longer, but there was no answer. He sat down on the floor just outside the room where his unknown soulmate was hidden and closed his eyes. He savored the sensation of warmth spreading through his body. He must be asleep, Victor thought to himself. He felt a twinge of disappointment knowing he would have to wait some hours longer before officially meeting his soulmate, but the knowledge that they were so close to each other was rewarding enough to fill Victor’s mind with overflowing happiness and adoration.

He wanted to leave something behind for his soulmate to find when he woke up, but Victor didn’t have a pen on him so writing a note was out of the question. Instead, he fished in his pocket for his used boarding pass from the plane ride between St. Petersburg and Sochi. The slip of paper displayed his first and last name printed in the top right corner as well as the name of the city he had flown out of and the destination where they were staying right now. This should be enough information to at least get his soulmate thinking. Victor knew his soulmate watched his performances on TV so reading his name on the pass should be enough information, and his soulmate surely would be able to feel the physical evidence of the pair’s proximity to each other upon waking. The boarding pass should be enough to prompt him to come find Victor in the morning. Once they laid eyes on each other the bond they shared would become painfully obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 
> 
> [tumblr](http://sumimuramo.tumblr.com/)


	3. Dog Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning of the Grand Prix Final competition has come and Yuuri is faced with the reality of his situation. The symptoms of his illness are not relenting and now he must also confront a devastating blow from home. Through it all he cannot ignore the physical reminder that his soulmate lingers nearby. Yuuri must push his way through a mirage of emotion and distractions if he is to give his best in his performance during his first season competing in the Grand Prix Finals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, apologies for posting several days later than what I had originally wanted. I promised myself I would write a longer chapter this time around and while I did succeed, it took me a little longer than expected. Please feel free to let me know in the comments whether you prefer shorter chapters (~2500 words) updated twice weekly or slightly longer chapters (~5000 words) posted once per week. 
> 
> This chapter strays away from the canon a bit more than I was initially expecting. I'm not really sure at this point if I'm going to try to keep the storyline canon compliant in the future or if I'm going to let the story take me wherever it decides to take me. The very basic plot points such as Yuuri and Victor's careers will definitely remain the same as in the anime though. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Thank you everyone who has read this story, left kudos, bookmarked, and commented! I appreciate it so so much! <3

Yuuri was sitting in the dry hotel bathtub, fully clothed, with tears streaming down his face as his clutched a wrinkled piece of paper in his hands. He locked himself in the bathroom shortly after discovering what appeared to be Victor Nikiforov’s used boarding pass slipped through the crack beneath the hotel room door. Now he was struggling to get through a fit of crashing anxiety while feeling quite alone and very confused. The piece of paper trembled in Yuuri’s grasp, and the crumpled sheet seared the tips of his fingers with a blazing heat.

A repetitive noise alerted Yuuri to the fact that someone was standing in the hallway outside his hotel room, knocking on the door. Yuuri jumped at the sudden sound, crumpled the paper into a ball in his fist, and held it up against his hammering heart. Sometime during the night, between the times Celestino left Yuuri alone in his room and when Yuuri had woken up that morning, someone had slipped this trivial item belonging to Victor Nikiforov into his hotel room. And Yuuri was quite aware of the fact it was reasonably likely Victor himself had been the one to visit Yuuri’s room in the night and leave behind just a trace of evidence of the older man’s presence. Yuuri wasn’t even sure it really mattered to him whom had left the piece of paper behind because the paper itself had ignited such an intense burning sensation upon initial contact with his skin that he had promptly dropped it back onto the floor. And when he had picked it up again and traced his fingertip over the partially smudged name of Victor Nikiforov printed in the top right corner, the scalding pain had shot through his hand and arm. The sensation was so overpowering and telling he hardly needed any additional information to know one thing for sure – Victor had to be his soulmate.

Yuuri listened closely as the person just outside the door knocked again a little louder. He lifted himself out of the tub, still clutching the paper to his chest, and eased the bathroom door open as soundlessly as possible. He took a shaky breath of air in an attempt to suffocate some of the anxiety racking through his chest and leaned up slowly to peer through the peephole set in the door. He knew even before he looked that whoever was standing outside of his door was not Victor because his current body temperature wasn’t much different from what it had been the night before. Judging by the burning heat radiating out of the fist clutched against his chest, standing just on the other side of the door from his soulmate would have thrown his entire body into hot throes of sensation. When Yuuri brought himself to peer through the door he was greeted with the familiar sight of unkempt tawny hair and the sharp angles of facial featured belonging to his coach.

Yuuri wiped at his face in an attempt to dry any residual traces of his tears and then he flipped the lock on the handle and slowly eased the door in front of him open. Celestino stared into Yuuri’s face with a look of mild annoyance and then shifted his gaze into something closer to concern. “Yuuri! I’ve been trying to call you all morning. And then you wouldn’t come to the door, I’ve been worried about you. How are you feeling? You look like you’re in pain!”

Yuuri felt another wave of anxiety rock through his body and struggled to find words to reply to his coach. Instead, he just pushed the door open a bit further and stepped aside so Celestino could join him in the room. His coach followed him inside, scanning Yuuri from head to toe, presumably looking for signs his student’s illness had worsened during the night. Yuuri became aware again of the clammy sweat that formed a slick over his forehead and upper lip. Celestino questioned Yuuri again, “How’s the fever?”

Yuuri took a second to consider how his body felt in that moment and then shook his head. “I’m pretty sure I still have it. I don’t really know, honestly coach I’m feeling really out of it at the moment.”

Celestino’s face scrunched with unease as he listened to Yuuri. “Maybe we should have a doctor look over you.”

Yuuri shook his head vigorously in response to the suggestion. “No, no! I’m fine really, it’s just a mild flu. The fever isn’t even too bad; I can hardly even notice it with everything else that I’ve been feeling. I just – I…” Yuuri’s eyes were wide with panic and his hands had begun to tremble under the authority of his anxiety as he searched for the right words. He could hardly process his own feelings in the moment, and the attempt to express any of them to Celestino had brought everything into sharp focus; fear, shock, and uncertainty swirled through his mind. The thought of his looming performance weighed on his mind as he remembered all the hard work Celestino and himself had put into his programs for this season. He was racked with fear of his sudden illness destroying any last shot of him making the podium at the final. And his mind was overwhelmed with the realization that not only was a meeting with his soulmate imminent, but also the person whose name had caused his body’s vital heat to rip through him like white flames was, of all people in the world, Victor Nikiforov.

Yuuri watched as Celestino’s expression softened a bit and then he nodded with understanding. Celestino had been Yuuri’s coach for nearly five years and after such an extended period of working closely together Celestino had gained a good understanding of Yuuri’s thought process and his struggles with anxiety. Yuuri watch his coach lower himself onto a chair and motion for Yuuri to sit on the bed. Yuuri took a seat and looked up at Celestino as he spoke:

“I know there is a lot going on for you right now. Making it to the finals is a big deal, and you’ve done a great job this season. I don’t want you to lose your head now just because of nerves. I’m behind you one hundred percent, everyone back in Detroit is cheering for you, and you have all of your family and friends back in Japan supporting you. You can do this Yuuri, I know you have it in you.” Yuuri gave a quick nod in response to his coach’s words.

Yuuri considered everything his coach was saying and then sifted through his own mind again, analyzing everything that was currently stressing him out and deciding which of his concerns was the most pressing and most dangerous to the success of his upcoming performance. He only held the thought in his head for a split second before he blurted it out, “It’s Victor!” Yuuri choked on the words as he said them.

Celestino’s face looked blank as he considered this statement, “Yes, Victor is going to be major competition for you, but that is to be expected from the four time world champion.”

“No coach. I mean, you’re right about him being competition, but that’s not what I meant...” Yuuri trailed off.

Celestino simply looked at Yuuri with a questioning expression, “So what else is it about Victor?”

Yuuri’s face was burning red, the hand clutched around the crumpled boarding pass tightened. “I th-think he’s the one – I think Victor is my soulmate.” Yuuri squeezed his eyes closed as he said this so he wouldn’t have to see the expression on Celestino’s face.

“Uh, oh. Well… are you sure?” Celestino stuttered.

Yuuri swallowed hard, “I’m pretty sure.”

“You haven’t met him yet have you? You’re pretty sure, but if you had met him there would be no question right?”

Yuuri shook his head, “I haven’t met him yet. But someone, maybe Victor, left this for me last night.” Yuuri extended the hand clutching the piece of paper and uncoiled his fingers. Celestino gingerly lifted the tight ball of paper from him and un-crumpled it, smoothing it out over his thigh. “Ah.” Celestino said.

“It burns when I touch it. When I touch his name it hurts. I know he’s nearby, I can feel his presence.” Yuuri explained. “But, I don’t think I should see him yet.”

Celestino seemed surprised to hear Yuuri say this. “You want to wait until after the competition?” Yuuri nodded in reply.

“It’s too overwhelming. Even just this much, I can hardly think straight. If I go find him now I’m never going to be able to get through my performances.” Yuuri was quite certain this was the right decision, but as he said it out loud he felt a painful twinge of longing shoot through his chest. He wanted Victor now; he wanted to feel the burning pain of their bond spread from the tips of his fingers to the rest of his body. He wanted Victor to look at him for the first time, and he wanted Victor to want him.

Celestino nodded his head in agreement with Yuuri and handed the boarding pass back to his student. “You’re in a bit of a tight spot it seems. We’re just going to have to try our best knowing you’ve been dealt a hell of a bad hand this time around, but I really meant what I said earlier Yuuri – I believe in you and I know you have it in you to succeed.”

Hours later Yuuri was once again resting in bed, nursing a hot cup of tea and feeling a bit miserable. His talk with Celestino had been able to calm his nerves a bit, but his flu symptoms were still alive inside of his body, and the thrumming of the vital heat in his core had dulled a lot since the morning. Part of him felt a little relieved to know Victor had left the hotel for the day to practice or attend to business, because that meant there was less of a chance that Victor would suddenly show up outside of his hotel room door wanting to meet him. Another part of Yuuri was saddened by the increasing distance between his soulmate and himself; sadness and discomfort was simply an instinctual response to moving away from the one person he was meant to be closest to.

He was now certain he wasn’t going to be getting any practice sessions in before his first performance the following morning. He was too sick still, and he was still too rattled by the discovery of his soulmate. He also didn’t want to chance any accidental run-ins with Victor in the hotel or the ice rink. Yuuri felt a familiar heat behind his eyes but he refused to cry over the situation any more than he already had. He felt hopeless knowing there wasn’t anything he could do to prepare himself for his own unavoidable failure that was sure to take place over the next several days. He hated losing to himself, and disappointing everyone who had worked hard for him and supported him throughout his career. What a terrible first-impression this was going to make for Victor, what a waste of a precious opportunity, and what a disappointment he was going to bring to his coach, rink-mates, and family.

 

* * *

 

Victor begrudgingly went along with Yakov to the ice rink for his scheduled practice session. He knew as soon as he stepped foot outside of the hotel that he was leaving his soulmate behind, and he felt resentful and bitter. He had wanted to return to room 719 that morning to try and catch his soulmate while he was awake, but Yakov had been keeping a close eye on him and didn’t want him wandering around alone or wasting time the day before a competition. In the taxi Victor turned to Yakov, “It’s really not that important you know – it’s just the Grand Prix, I don’t need to necessarily get gold again this year. It’s not like we’re at Worlds, and I’m sure I’ll do fine even without the practice.”

Victor shut himself up at the sight of Yakov’s fiery glare. “Victor. At this moment, you disgust me.” Yakov spit venomously.

Victor felt himself shudder at the sound of these words. He knew he was acting out of character, and his sudden disinterest in winning could be read as an insult to everything Yakov had built for him, but there was a new presence in his mind that wouldn’t quiet itself for even a moment and Victor had no desire to see it be stifled. The rest of the taxi ride to the ice rink was painful and Victor found himself pouting into the window of the car.

Practice was dull and surprisingly colder than usual for Victor. It seemed that now he had succeeded at placing himself in the same geographical location as his soulmate, the simple act of skating itself was no longer enough to derive the vital heat. It made sense, the heat that came from skating itself had already done its job by drawing his soulmate and himself closer together. Ice-skating was no longer an effective action to take if he wanted to find a way to be noticed by his soulmate. He was going to have to be more direct from here on out. Still, it felt a little sad to skate without the pleasant warm comfort he had come to expect over the past twenty years on the ice. His conviction was wavering, and he knew it showed as Yakov watched him practice and Victor failed, for the first time all season, to land one of his jumps.

His two-hour session ended and then it was time to break for lunch before his afternoon practice began. He considered asking Yakov to allow him to return to the hotel for lunch, but changed his mind when he looked at the expression of anger on his coach’s face. Instead, they walked to a nearby hole-in-the-wall and sat down to an unsatisfying light meal. Victor skated through his afternoon practice session for another two hours, but this time he made sure to land every jump.

His return to the hotel was bitter-sweet as the newly familiar warmth refilled his body and he made his way straight to his own hotel room on the third floor. He knew better than to return to the seventh floor the night before the competition. If Yakov caught wind he was anywhere other than sleeping in his bed, he would definitely be dead meat. And Victor also knew that he was in need of a good night’s rest before his skate the next morning. He fell asleep surprisingly easily as the warmth of his soulmate nearby pulsed through his body, and the fatigue from hours of practice caught up to him.

Victor woke up early the next morning and was happy to feel the vital heat he had grown to love still coursing through his veins. A small but familiar burst of excitement and nervousness filled his chest as he prepared himself to leave his room and make his way towards the lobby of the hotel. As he descended in the elevator, his black rolling skate bag at his side and a slick duffel thrown over his shoulder, his heartbeat escalated and his skin awakened with an intense heat.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri stood in the lobby, hiding himself behind the figure of his coach, and suffering through a dull pounding headache. He was dressed in his Japanese team jacket and carried his backpack on one shoulder. Celestino talked animatedly to an old friend and held the rest of Yuuri’s belongings in another bag.

Yuuri was grateful his fever had disappeared sometime during the previous night, but he still felt the pangs of nausea in his stomach and his muscles ached throughout his body. He was in no way at optimal physical condition to compete, and his mental clarity hadn’t quite returned either. He still found himself thinking about Victor constantly and he doubted if he was going to be able to successfully avoid the Russian skater until both of their two program performances were finished.

The lobby was swelling with people as more and more competitors, coaches, and family members emerged from their rooms and started the process of traveling to the site of the competition. Seeing everyone together in one area reminded Yuuri of how big of a deal this competition actually was. Sometimes he felt closed off in his narrow sliver of the skating world, but now he could see familiar and new faces belonging to competitors in women’s’ singles, pair skating, ice dancing, synchronized skating, and juniors. The hotel lobby held the best of the best from dozens of countries around the world. Often, when he found himself in these types of situations, Yuuri had a hard time believing he really belonged.

Yuuri’s phone began to vibrate in his jacket pocket. When he pulled it out he spotted his sister’s name on the screen, which meant his entire family was probably waiting on the other end of the line, their phone set on speaker, and their voices ready to cheer him on and wish good luck. Yuuri glanced up at Celestino but his coach was still deep in conversation and the lobby was too loud for him to answer the phone where he stood. Yuuri apologetically nudged Celestino with his elbow before showing him the incoming call on his screen and taking a few steps towards a quieter hallway. Celestino acknowledged his student with a nod and waved him off towards the hall where he could answer the phone.

Once Yuuri made it into the hall he hit the receive button in his phone and placed it to his ear expecting to hear excited shouts from his sister and parents. Instead, the line hung silent so Yuuri spoke first, “Hello? Mari?”

“Yuuri, sorry to call you right before a competition.” Mari answered.

“It’s okay. I was expecting a call from home. Is everything okay? It sounds kinda quiet on your end.”

“Well, uh. No… actually." There was an ominous pause and Yuuri could hear Mari take a deep breath before continuing, "I’m so sorry Yuuri…” Yuuri’s chest suddenly filled with a sense of foreboding, sticky like tar. He couldn’t speak and a whooshing static seemed to fill his ears.

“… Vicchan – he passed away this morning.” Mari stifled a small sob as she relayed the news to her younger brother.

Yuuri stood rooted to the spot, phone pressed against his ear, palms sweaty and body trembling. He couldn’t think about what his sister had just told him. His mind had gone blank and something inside of him was screaming at him to run away, or throw the phone; he needed to escape from this moment and protect himself from the crushing reality just about to settle all around him.

“I’m so sorry Yuuri,” Mari was crying for real now. “It was peaceful, he passed in his sleep. We found him this morning in his bed. He felt no pain; it was just his time to go… He loved you so much.”

Yuuri’s eyes brimmed with tears. He leaned back against a wall and felt the hot liquid slip down his cheeks. Yuuri imagined the feel of Vicchans dense fur in his fingers, the warm love of a lick to the cheek, and the joyful jumps and wiggles of his little friend as they played together in the park. The tears wouldn’t stop coming now, heavy drops falling from his eyes. Yuuri could still hear the muffled crying of his sister on the other end of the line.

Mari had loved Vicchan just as much as Yuuri had. They had a different sort of bond than the distinct connection between Vicchan and Yuuri himself, but Mari had taken care of Vicchan for him during the past five years he was training in America. She had been the one who would bathe the small dog and tenderly brush out the mats from his fur, file down his nails, and take on the challenging task of brushing his teeth. When Yuuri left for Detroit, Vicchan moved from sleeping in Yuuri’s bed to sleeping with Mari at night.

Yuuri collapsed against the wall behind him, his body sliding down towards the ground until he was sitting with his forehead resting against his knees. He stayed this way for a few moments, tears soaking the material of his pants, and the sound of his sister’s crying ringing in his ear through the phone. Mari interrupted the painful silence between her brother and herself with a few more words, “We thought about waiting to tell you, until the competition was over. But that didn’t seem like the right thing to do. I’m so sorry Yuuri – I don’t know what else to say. It’s just awful, it hurts so much.”

Yuuri felt the well of tears behind his eyes grow even larger as he listened to the sound of hurt in his sister’s voice. “I – thank you Mari… for calling, for telling me. I’m glad you told me now.” Mari made a muffled sound of acknowledgement in response.

“I should have come home to visit him sooner.” Yuuri cried into the phone.

“Yuuri, please don’t say that. There’s no way you could have known. None of us expected this, it was such a shock. I don’t want you to blame yourself for any of this.” Mari said.

“I know you don’t…” Yuuri whispered.

“Now, just focus on the good memories you have of Vicchan. He was always so happy and full of energy. Embrace his spirit today when you skate. We’re all here to support you through this. We’ll be cheering for you Yuuri.” Mari responded.

“Thank you, I’ll try my best. I know the timing seems really bad but I appreciate the fact you called me now instead of keeping me in the dark.” Yuuri stated.

“Of course.” Mari answered.

Yuuri allowed himself a weak smile, “I’ve got to get going. We’re leaving for the rink any minute now. I’ll call you guys again as soon as I get the chance.”

“Do your best. And Yuuri, go easy on yourself today.”

“Thanks Mari. I’ll see what I can do. Bye now.”

“Bye.”

Yuuri ended the call and felt the hand holding his phone flop to the floor. He was totally drained of energy after hearing the devastating news. Standing up from his position seated on the floor seemed like an impossible task at the moment, so the idea of skating a full program in a few shorts hours was completely out of reach. Yuuri let his head recline back against the hotel wall and he closed his eyes. A few additional tears managed to squeeze out from between his lashes and slide slowly down his cheeks. The flesh under his eyes was raw from crying and burned slightly from the irritation caused by wiping away so many tears.

As Yuuri sat in the empty hallway he could hear the distant rumblings of people gathering in the lobby. The top of his head and his chest felt warmer than they had a moment before, and he wondered if the sudden added stress had caused his fever to reappear. The chime of an elevator coming to a stop bounced towards Yuuri’s ears from the far end of the hallway. Yuuri opened his eyes to watch at the metallic elevator doors slid open. The elevator was located at least 10 meters away from Yuuri, only just visible from the spot where he sat in the hallway, and there was no logical explanation for why his interest had suddenly been drawn towards the opening of the doors.

A few unrecognizable people stepped out of the elevator, then an older man dressed in all black exited the elevator – he looked familiar to Yuuri but the distance between them made it difficult for the young skater to identify the man confidently. Then another man stepped out of the elevator, doors closing just behind him. He was much younger, and wore a red and white jacket emblazoned with fancy script, carried a black back and pulled another small rolling luggage behind him. As Yuuri looked at the younger man, he felt his face and body began to heat up.

Yuuri gasped for air, his lung function seemed to have stalled, and his eyes burned like he was trying to peer through thick smoke. He watched the man turn around, towards the spot where he was sitting, and flick a few strands of silver-blond hair from his face. Yuuri knew, even from this distance, that he was staring into the face of Victor Nikiforov. The moment he acknowledged this truth to himself was the moment his entire body seemed to erupt into a spread of small lively flames.

The world around him seemed to slow, noises were muffled, his thoughts wiped clean, as he watched Victor drop both of his bags onto the floor and dash straight towards him. The distance between them grew increasingly smaller, and Yuuri didn’t understand how the heat inside of him could grow any more intense. Only when he felt like every muscle and bone in his body was about to melt, and Victor had dropped onto his knees just inches in front of him, did he realize he was whimpering quietly from the combination of burning pain and pulsing warm pleasure. Yuuri was close enough to look into Victor’s eyes, see the shimmering blue of his iris. He opened his mouth to speak, “Victor – ” was all he managed to get out.

Victor smiled widely at the sound of his own name. He reached out towards Yuuri’s hand, but stopped just short of making contact. His smile faded a little and he said, “You’ve been crying. Why are crying?”

Yuuri flinched at the words, realizing he must look like a total mess at the moment. He rubbed at his face with the palms of his hands and took in a large breath of air. “I’m sorry” Yuuri stated quietly.

“Don’t be! I can’t believe I’ve finally managed to find you, and you know my name already but I don’t know yours. I don’t want to see you with tears on your face!” Victor cried out.

Yuuri bit his own lip and tried to suppress more tears that threatened to expose him. His emotions were running wild, feelings of penetrating sadness mingled with a rising giddy excitement, and the intensity of heat running through his body muddled his mind. He felt embarrassed, mortified, to be in such a raw and unkempt state as he sat in front of Victor – his soulmate, for the first time. He couldn’t find the words, he had never been a particularly confident conversationalist, and now the pressure was mounting like never before.

“My dog just died!” Yuuri blurted out. His words were followed by sudden sobs, ripping themselves from his lungs, his face was wet again with a new onslaught of tears.

Victor froze in place, he seemed to hardly be breathing, he watched Yuuri as he fell apart in front of him. Yuuri half expected him to laugh, to get up from the floor and walk away, to leave his pitiful sobbing soulmate alone in a hotel hallway. Instead, Victor let out a small gasp of, “Oh no!” and then the older man threw his arms around Yuuri, pulling the younger man’s body tight against his own.

Yuuri yelped at the sudden physical contact. There was no getting around the fact that it was painful. Victor’s body was like a hot iron as it pressed tightly against him. But the sensation seemed to offer a source of gratification as well, an indulgent response to some primitive desire that had awoken inside of Yuuri. Victor’s touch silenced Yuuri’s crying and his embrace burned away his feelings of anxiety and confusion. For several moments Yuuri felt completely at peace, his body roaring with a blinding heat, and his mind filled with nothing other than the hot orange glow of security and love.

When Victor relaxed his hold on Yuuri, the dark haired man regained control over his tongue, “Yuuri.” He said to Victor. “My name is Yuuri Katsuki. And I’m suppose to be skating against you in the finals today.”

“Oh! Oh my god. I’m so sorry!” Victor sputtered. “I should have known who you were.”

Victor’s face had gone completely red, and for some reason this made Yuuri smile.

“No, it’s fine really.” Yuuri reassured. “I hardly managed to make it here in the first place. I’m not important.”

Victor shook his head, “You are important!”

Yuuri smiled weakly at Victor, “I’ve watched you skate for practically my entire life.”

In response to this statement, Victor smiled back and said, “Oh, I know you have.”

Victor reached for Yuuri’s hand again, taking it up in his own this time. Yuuri felt a sensation like boiling water wash over the skin of his hand and flinched slightly. “I’m sorry, does this hurt you?” Victor asked with concern.

“Uh, a bit.” Yuuri decided to answer truthfully. “But it’s okay, it’ll get less intense with time.”

Victor nodded and gripped Yuuri’s hand firmly, but didn’t expand his contact beyond the patch of skin he was already touching. “Yuuri…” Victor seemed to be testing out the feel of his soulmates name on his tongue. Yuuri blushed as he watched Victor’s lips curl around his name in the air.

“Now that I’ve finally found you, please don’t leave my side.” Victor’s eyes were intense as they bore into Yuuri. This statement was more than just a request; to Yuuri it felt like a direct challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! First contact has been made!
> 
> In all honesty I was initially planning on postponing Yuuri and Victor's meeting until after the competition was over so it would follow the canon material more closely, but I couldn't stop myself - it was torture. 
> 
> This means I might have to tweak the events and results from the Sochi GPF a little bit, but I'll try to avoid doing anything crazy. I haven't really decided where I'm taking this from here anyway. As usual, I do not have a beta reader for this fic, so if you spot any glaring errors feel free to let me know and I'll get them fixed. Also, I'm open to advice and questions from readers. I want my writing to improve just as much as you want to see better and better fics being written. 
> 
> Thanks again for all the amazing comments, and for the kudos and bookmarks left by all the wonderful readers in the world. I'm super excited to keep writing this fic and every comment I receive adds a ton of fuel to my fire! 
> 
> I'm so happy to be a part of the YOI fandom and it's simply a joy to be able to celebrate this awesome anime with so many excited and passionate people.
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://sumimuramo.tumblr.com/)


	4. Steam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for waiting, I'm here with the next chapter! 
> 
>  
> 
> I don't want this to read like a cliff-hanger so I'll do my best to finish the next chapter quickly and get it posted really soon! I suddenly have a lot of ideas for this story, so my motivation to write is high (damn you finicky computer and my complete lack of technological skill).

_Victor reached for Yuuri’s hand again, taking it up in his own this time. Yuuri felt a sensation like boiling water wash over the skin of his hand and flinched slightly. “I’m sorry, does this hurt you?” Victor asked with concern._

_“Uh, a bit.” Yuuri decided to answer truthfully. “But it’s okay, it’ll get less intense with time.”_

_Victor nodded and gripped Yuuri’s hand firmly, but didn’t expand his contact beyond the patch of skin he was already touching. “Yuuri…” Victor seemed to be testing out the feel of his soulmates name on his tongue. Yuuri blushed as he watched Victor’s lips curl around his name in the air._

_“Now that I’ve finally found you, please don’t leave my side.” Victor’s eyes were intense as they bore into Yuuri. This statement was more than just a request; to Yuuri it felt like a challenge._

 

Yuuri blinked up, “I won’t leave you.” It was a promise when spoken to Victor, but also a form a reassurance for Yuuri himself. In his mind there was a battle taking place – a conflict between rising uncertainness and a new capability of comfort and trust. Yuuri wanted desperately to give himself over to a reality where there was no need to doubt his worth or question whether or not he was wanted. In the past what he had know best were feelings of frustration aimed inwardly and fears of disappointing others. But now he had a new opportunity opening up before him, a chance for a new beginning.

Victor was his soulmate. And soulmates offered something that no one else in the world could ever offer: a source of unrelenting and unconditional love. If before Yuuri felt like there was no one in the world who believed in him one hundred percent, now he had no choice but to accept the fact there was at least one person who would stand by him through it all. The intrusive negative thoughts wouldn’t instantly disappear forever just because Victor had appeared, but his other half’s sudden presence offered him the tools he needed in order to begin fighting back.

Yuuri breathed deeply, more easily than he had in days, and studied Victor’s face; the soft curtain of pale hair that fell across his face, the sharp structure of his nose, the pull of his lips, and the gentle blue of his eyes. This face was so familiar to Yuuri, who had watched Victor on TV for years and who had peppered the walls of his bedroom with posters and clippings of Victor, but he was also aware of how he was really seeing the person before him for the first time. Victor was smiling at him and Yuuri knew his face was flushed red with a blush. Their hands were gripped around each other tightly and the burn felt between them roared on intensely.

Victor slowly pulled himself onto his feet, leading Yuuri into a standing position as well, and said, “Do your best today Yuuri.”

Yuuri smiles, “You too.”

“And I’m so sorry for your loss…” Victor trailed off. “I can’t imagine. I have a dog – ”

Yuuri cut Victor off suddenly, “I know, Makkachan. He’s the reason I got Vic— uh, my miniature poodle.” Yuuri instantly regretted opening his mouth and letting such an embarrassing statement escape. “Sorry, what I meant to say is, I knew you would be able to empathize. It uh, makes me feel a little better knowing there’s someone else who understands.”

Victor nods his head, “You seem to already know a lot about me. I look forward to learning a lot about you as well.”

Yuuri bit his lip, “Of course.” His heart was beating at an alarming rate. “We… should we go? I don’t know what time –”

Victor didn’t let go of Yuuri’s hand, instead he started walking back towards the lobby, pulling Yuuri along behind him. Yuuri was startled by the sudden implication of what they were about to do, and he lost the small amount of control he had managed to place on his own mind. Anxious thoughts hurled themselves to the forefront of his consciousness and he stuttered out loud, “Victor, wait. People are going to see us.”

“Might as well get it over with now, shouldn’t we? They’re bound to find out soon enough.”

Yuuri swallowed a lump of nervous energy caught in his throat, “I’m scared.” This was the second time he felt himself being uncharacteristically honest with Victor when he would normally be much more reserved with his true thoughts.

Victor stopped walking and turned around to face Yuuri. “I’ll protect you.” The older man said with a smile on his face and a tilt to his head.

The words didn’t feel condescending or taunting when Victor spoke them. They felt absolutely sincere and powerful. The burning in the palm of his hand was constant and absolute. Victor’s eyes glinted with confidence. Yuuri nodded his head, imagining the negative worries going up in flames and withering away into nothing, and spoke again, “Please don’t let go.”

“I won’t leave you.” Victor mirrored back Yuuri’s earlier words.

They stepped into the open space of the lobby, people swarming all around them, their hands still clasped together tightly. Yuuri wasn’t really sure what he had been expecting: gasps of shock? The flashing of paparazzi cameras? Maybe even angry shouts and taunts of disbelief? Instead, no one seemed to notice the two skaters as they reappeared in the lobby together. Yuuri increased his pace, closing the distance between Victor and himself in an attempt to shield their joined hands away from easy view.

He looked forward and guessed where Victor was headed when he saw an older man dressed in all black and looking quite unhappy. Now they were closer Yuuri was able to recognize and identify the man as Victor’s coach, Yakov Feltsman. Yakov spotted Victor and a look of irritation spread across his face. Then his eyes dipped down and followed the line of Victor’s arm to see his student’s hand intertwined with Yuuri’s, and he responded by pressing the tips of fingers against his eyes and shaking his head slowly.

When Victor reached his coach Yakov muttered heated words in Russian, clearly ambivalent towards the fact that Yuuri was in his presence and obviously not able to understand anything that was being said. Victor listened patiently to his coach’s words, squeezing Yuuri’s hand in gentle reassurance, and then he shrugged his shoulders slightly and replied in much calmer Russian. Yuuri glanced around him as he waited for the conversation between Victor and Yakov to be over. He searched for signs that other people had noticed he was holding Victor’s hand in public, but no one seemed to be paying any attention.

Except, Yuuri squinted to his right and noticed a young boy reclining against a wall and staring directly back at him. The boy wore a jacket that was mostly blue and white, as well as a black hoodie underneath with the hood pulled up around his head. He glared at Yuuri, unblinking, before turning away and sauntering towards the front of the lobby. Yuuri already knew the identity of the angry boy and felt a wave of the fear he had been dreading wash over him. This was exactly what he was most afraid of – people despising him simply for being Victor’s soulmate. Or sizing him up, making judgments and deeming him an unworthy match for Victor, who was well renowned and respected around the world.

Victor was still talking with Yakov and although their hands had yet to separate, Yuuri was feeling vulnerable and exposed in the crowd and wished Victor would turn his attention back to him.

A shout from behind sounded, “Yuuri! There you are!” Yuuri turned to see Celestino walking towards him, both of his bags in hand. “I couldn’t find you in the hall. What are you doing?”

Celestino had hardly gotten the words out of his mouth before he noticed Victor standing beside his student, and looked down to see their intertwined hands. “Oh…”

Yuuri blushed out of embarrassment and squeezed Victor’s hand involuntarily. Victor dropped whatever he had been saying to Yakov and turned back toward Yuuri. When he noticed Celestino looking at him he smiled and waved with his free hand, “Ah, coach Cialdini! I’m delighted to meet you at last!”

Celestino took the last few steps forward to join Yuuri, Victor, and Yakov, and replied, “As am I Mr. Nikiforov.”

“No, please! Just Victor is fine. I’m sure you’re already acquainted with my coach, but just in case allow me to introduce you.”

Celestino smiled and reached out to shake Yakov’s hand, “It’s so nice to see you again Yakov. It’s been many years since we’ve had a chance to speak in person.”

Yakov nodded back gruffly, “Yes of course Celestino. You’ve been very busy these past few years, I’ve seen many talented skaters emerge from under your wing.”

“Thank you, but your work as a coach seems to always set the bar higher.” Celestino said this while gesturing slightly towards Victor.

This insinuation seemed to cause Yakov some irritation and he laughed bitterly, “Unfortunately not even my coaching appears capable of keeping this one in line when he’s faced with the sudden hurdle of love.” Yakov said in reference to Victor.

Celestino pursed his lips in thought and gave a knowing look to Yuuri, “Maybe you’ll find yourself surprised by your student.”

“I don’t think we’ll be seeing anything like that this time unfortunately. I’m afraid we’ve lost him.” Yakov said wistfully.

Suddenly Yuuri’s mounting anxiety and confusion shifted to anger and bewilderment; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing Yakov say about his own student. Victor was the most decorated active skater in the world. He had changed the course of the entire sport during his time on the ice, and his name was legendary. He would be remembered through time as one of the greatest skaters to ever live. And Yakov had the audacity to dismiss all that just because he had succeeded in finding his soulmate? It had been overdue for years, Victor was twenty-six years old and most people had already found their soulmate by the time they were in their teens. Yuuri tightened his hold on Victor’s hand once again and then he felt himself speak before he had fully realized what he was doing.

“What is that suppose to mean! Lost him? How could you say something like that!” Yuuri could feel the blood rushing in his ears. Yakov, Celestino, and Victor looked shocked at Yuuri’s outburst. A few people standing around them had suddenly quieted and were now looking Yuuri’s way. Yuuri regretted shouting, but he had meant what he said and he was still seething. When he noticed people staring at him he felt pangs of shame mix with his anger.

“Yuuri, it’s okay…” Victor said gently.

But Yuuri shook his head and fought against the threat of tears in his eyes. He was still overly emotional from his earlier breakdown and the pairs of eyes that had sudden turned towards him felt piercing.

“Victor is amazing.” Yuuri continued to speak, but this time the volume of his voice was much lower. “He’s already proven his ability countless times in the past and he will continue to prove it in the future. Please don’t doubt him now, just because of me.”

Yakov didn’t seem to have any response to Yuuri’s request. Instead, he gestured towards Victor’s bags at their feet and mumbled at Victor, “I’m taking a cab with Yuri to the rink. There won’t be any room for you and your things so why don’t you find your own way.”

Victor nodded once, “Understood.” Then he turned away from Yakov, releasing Yuuri’s hand for only a brief moment in order to sling his duffle bag over his shoulder. He grasped Yuuri’s hand again and pulled his rolling luggage behind him with his free hand. They walked towards the entrance of the lobby together, Celestino following not far behind with Yuuri’s bags in hand.

 

* * *

 

Victor was fuming internally. He gripped Yuuri’s hand hard and trudged towards the front doors of the hotel lobby. He needed to get outside into the cool air and calm himself down. When they were outside and out of earshot of most people he turned to Yuuri and spoke, “Yakov is acting like a bastard. I’m sorry you had to see him like that.” Yuuri looked surprised to hear such angry words out of his mouth so he took a deep breath before continuing. “He’s not usually so callous. He’s just… actually it’s mostly my fault. I’ve been a less-than-ideal student lately and he’s rightfully frustrated.”

Yuuri nodded his head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. That was really rude of me.” He admitted.

Victor smiled at Yuuri, “No need to be sorry. You were sticking up for me, and I’m very appreciative.” Victor smoothed his thumb over the back of Yuuri’s hand. He felt a wave of heat roll from his fingers to his chest in response to the movement of his thumb against Yuuri’s skin. He wanted to keep touching Yuuri so that the sensation of warmth would continue. He wanted to wrap his arms around his soulmate again and feel the fire-like intensity of the embrace against his body.

The hug between Yuuri and himself had been painful, but not at all unpleasant. It felt natural to have Yuuri’s body burning against his own. The reality was that Victor knew next to nothing about Yuuri, but it didn’t seem to matter because they had so much time ahead of them to get to know each other. As soon as Victor had kneeled down in front of Yuuri, engrossed in the features of the younger man, he had felt a sense of fulfillment and comfort. It was as if Yuuri had been crafted by an unseen force with Victor’s ideas of perfection in mind. And although Yuuri had officially met for the first time practically only moments before, Victor felt a deep bond spanning two decades prior. He had been aware for years of Yuuri’s eyes on him as he skated in televised competitions. He had been aware of Yuuri’s existence since his own childhood when he placed blade against ice and felt the heat of their eventual union spread through his body.

Now Yuuri peered up at him will warm round eyes and a soft flushed face. Everything other than Yuuri seemed unimportant in that moment. He had already done it all before; skated in dozens of competitions across the world, won more trophies and medals than he would even know what to do, had interviews printed in magazines, made guest appearances on big name TV shows. It wasn’t exciting anymore, it wasn’t even fun, it was just work at this point.

Victor didn’t care how well he would do in his short program later that day. He cared more about watching Yuuri’s performance and celebrating with him during the evening. Victor felt a flush of shame as he thought back to his surprised exclamation when Yuuri had explained to him that he was a fellow skater, and in fact would be competing against him that day in the final. There was no excuse for his blunder.

The reality was that only six competitors made it into the final in his division and category, and it was ridiculous that he hadn’t taken the time to follow other skater’s progression through competitions to see who had qualified for the final alongside himself. But this type of oversight was typical of Victor. He had become so accustomed to winning competitions and easily beating practically anyone who skated against him, that he had eventually just stopped paying attention. He had reached a point where he was only competing against himself. Instead of worrying about competition posed by other athletes, he only thought about surpassing his own records or adding new elements that no one else in the world was capable of even attempting in competition.

He deeply regretted not taking the time to learn about the other skaters in competition. If he had put more energy in following their performances he would have certainly learned the identity of his soulmate much earlier. He could have reached out and they could have been in contact with each other months, or maybe even years, earlier. Victor would take this lesson to heart as an example of how his self-centered tendencies could end up delivering disastrous consequences.

Victor decided now was a good time to express his feelings of regret out loud to Yuuri.

“I’m humiliated with myself for not recognizing who you were when we first met. I hope you can forgive me.” Victor apologized to Yuuri.

Yuuri simply blushed in response and waved his hand dismissively. “Really, don’t worry about it! I’m not upset with you at all.”

Victor looked down at Yuuri sweetly, appreciation building in his chest for the selflessness his soulmate showed him. “Still, I just want you to know that I do feel bad about it. I can be a little self-centered at the best of times, but it’s something I’m trying to work on. I want you to know that you’re the most important thing to me now.”

“Victor…” Yuuri said quietly, holding the palm of his free hand up against his mouth. Victor thought if Yuuri blushed any harder there wouldn’t be any blood left for this rest of his body.

“And I can’t wait to see you skate today! I haven’t been this excited about a competition day in years.” Victor smiled widely.

“On that note, I think we should all make our way to the rink,” Celestino had attempted to enter the conversation awkwardly. He had obviously been trying his best to be as unobtrusive as possible for the past several minutes but time was passing them by and they really did need to get to the rink soon if they were going to enjoy any practice time before the competition officially began.

“Do you two want to take a cab together?” Celestino questioned, one eyebrow raised slightly. “I can follow behind with your things Yuuri. If that’s okay?”

Victor watched Yuuri nod in his coach’s direction as he uttered a quiet thanks.

“Okay, be off then you two.” Celestino chided the new couple and raised his hand to flag down a nearby cab for himself.

Victor followed suit and caught the attention of one of many cabs gathered around the hotel in anticipation for the demand for drivers to take skaters, coaches, and families to the competition site. When the cab pulled up to the curb he opened the door and helped Yuuri step inside before moving to the trunk to deposit his bags. When he joined Yuuri in the back seat he scooted close to his soulmate, but made sure to leave a few centimeters of space between them to prevent any painful touches during the ride.

Despite their lack of physical contact, the left side of Victor’s body was blazing hot. It felt exactly like the sensation of sitting too close to an open fire pit. The contrast in temperature between the two sides of his body was slightly uncomfortable as well.

Out of the corner of his eye Victor watched Yuuri. The younger man was gazing out the window, small locks of black hair fell across his forehead and along the side of his face. He was breathing slowly and deeply but his eyes stared unblinking and Victor wondered if Yuuri was nervous about his performance.

Victor had been telling the truth when he said he was excited to see Yuuri skate that day. He was looking forward to it more than he had looked forward to anything in a long time. At the same time he now realized that his statement to Yuuri might have put the other man on edge and the last thing he wanted was for his excitement to put extraneous stress or pressure on Yuuri.

Victor chewed the inside of his own lip as he tried to think of a way to reassure Yuuri and brush away his nervousness. He was so new to this type of thing; he had no experience with relationships. He had never really even had a close friend before, and now the responsibility of supporting another human being emotionally seemed like an insurmountable challenge. He decided the only thing he really knew how to do was to be as straightforward and as honest as possible.

“Are you nervous?” Victor asked.

Yuuri jumped slightly at the sound of Victor’s words. He must have been deep in thought, “Ah, yeah. A little.” Yuuri admitted.

“I hope I didn’t add any pressure earlier when I told you I was excited to watch you skate. I’m looking forward to it because it’s you. But I don’t want you to worry about disappointing me or anything like that.”

Yuuri stared at Victor’s face and seemed to be thinking. “It’s not that – actually I want you to watch me.” Yuuri smile sheepishly and lowered his gaze a bit.

Suddenly Victor felt a stroke of hot skin against the back of his hand. He looked down to see Yuuri intertwine his fingers with his own. The rejoining of their hands caused Victor to smile.

Yuuri continued with what he had been saying, “I’m nervous because I don’t feel prepared. I’ve been sick with the flu the last few days and I didn’t get a chance to practice at all so I’m going to be really raw out on the ice. Everyone, coach Celestino and my family and friends, have put so much energy into supporting me and I just want to make them proud.”

Victor gave Yuuri’s hand a gentle squeeze as he listened. “I know everything that’s happened over the past few days was out of my control, but I still want to do well.”

“And now people are going to know about you and me, I guess that does add another layer of pressure. It’s not your fault though, I really do want you to be there watching me as I perform.” Yuuri quickly added in reassurance.

“It’s just that people are going to want to compare me to you. You’re so far ahead of me. I’m afraid people are going to think it’s a mistake and that I can’t possibly be your real soulmate. I’m probably going to end up embarrassing myself out on the ice today.”

“If you made it this far, there’s no denying you’re good Yuuri. If people want to make snap judgments and ludicrous statements then there’s nothing we can do to stop them. But I don’t want you to think you’re disappointing anyone, because there’s nothing you could do out there today that would disappoint me. And I’m sure all of your friends and family will be proud of you no matter what.” Victor didn’t know what else he could possibly say. His words sounded cliché as he spoke them, but they were still true. There must be some merit to words and phrases that had been said so many times before that he couldn’t think of a better or simpler truth.

Yuuri sighed and closed his eyes. Victor watched as his soulmate reclined against the seat in the cab and then let his body fall to the right a bit. Yuuri’s shoulder rested lightly against Victor’s own shoulder, and the heat of the touch was throbbing delightfully.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri was feeling irritated. Not with anyone in particular, not even with himself, it was more so a feeling of irritation with the universe at large. He wanted to do well in his short program, he wanted to surprise Victor with a stunning performance, and he wanted to make his friends and family members happy. But he also knew the reality of the situation was that he hadn’t practiced in days, he had hardly even stretched since becoming sick, and then the little remaining strength he had in his body had been zapped by the news of Vicchans death and the nearly simultaneous meeting with his soulmate. He still had a headache, although he could hardly pay it any mind at the moment, what with the intense heat that was currently burning in his right hand and shoulder, but the illness was definitely not going to add to his performance in any way.

Part of him wanted to just give up, and admit defeat to the chaotic universe. There were too many obstacles stacked against him this year and he dreaded the idea of pushing himself through a mediocre performance. But he also knew that giving up would be worse than not even trying at all, and he had never been the type of person to allow himself to quit just because he wasn’t going to win.

Victor was obviously trying hard to comfort him and that made Yuuri happy. Yuuri did feel good knowing that Victor would be standing at the side of the rink, watching him give his performance everything he had – even if he didn’t have much left to give at this point. Victor, who could skate like no one else in the world; Victor who didn’t even have to think about who his competition was because he was already completely confident in his own ability to win; Victor was the most amazing person in the world if you asked Yuuri, and right at that moment, Victor was holding his hand.

A few minutes later the cab pulled up to the front of the ice rink and Victor thanked the driver before paying the fare and climbing out. Yuuri followed him and waited for Victor to retrieve his belongings from the trunk before spotting Celestino waving at them a few meters away. Yuuri hurried over to relieve Celestino of the burden of his luggage and then the three of them headed inside together.

The rink was buzzing with people and cameras. Celestino lead them over to a counter where they needed to check in and receive their ID tags. The woman checking IDs and handing out tags smiled at Victor in recognition. A small sigh escaped Yuuri’s lips as he thought to himself _and so it begins._

Everyone knew who Victor was, and hardly anyone knew who Yuuri was. It was Yuuri’s first year making it to the Grand Prix Finals, and he hadn’t had a particularly exciting career up until this point either. Soon, very soon, the news that Victor and Yuuri were soulmates was going to begin spreading around and Yuuri was not looking forward to the snide and disapproving comments that were sure to follow.

As if he didn’t already have a hard time not being negative towards himself, the scrutiny and negativity of the media and the public didn't sound fun. Yuuri pushed these thoughts aside as he told the woman at the counter his name and handed her his passport so she could confirm his identity and give him his tag.

When they got to the side of the ice most of the other skaters in their division and category were already warming up with stretches and getting their skates laced up. Yuuri glanced around wondering if anyone else had noticed Victor and him entering the space together. It seemed like everyone was busy with themselves and Yuuri relaxed a bit until his eyes made contact with Christophe’s own gaze momentarily.

Chris smiled at Yuuri and then glanced over at Victor who wasn’t paying attention. Yuuri knew that Victor and Chris were pretty good friends and he wasn’t surprised that the blond man had noticed Victor hanging around with a seemingly random competitor. Yuuri wondered if maybe Chris had been trying to catch Victor’s eye so they could talk before the practice session. Yuuri turned towards his soulmate, “Victor, I just noticed Chris looking this way. I think he might want to talk to you?”

Victor turned around looking skeptical and then his eyes moved to where Chris was standing. He smiled and then looked back towards Yuuri. “Let’s mess with him a little” Victor suggested.

Yuuri felt uncomfortable with this proposition, it really wasn’t his place. He wasn’t even half as good of a skater as Chris was, and he was pretty certain Chris didn’t even know his name. He probably just recognized Yuuri’s Japanese team jacket and wondered what Victor was doing hanging around enemy territory.

Before Yuuri could voice his reservations he saw Victor wink in Chris’s direction. The next moment Yuuri found himself looking up at the ceiling as the tip of one of Victor’s fingers lifted his chin from beneath. They were standing very close to each other now, but the only point of physical contact remained Victor’s fingertip. Victor’s eyelids were heavy and he leaned his face closer to Yuuri’s. Yuuri could see each individual eyelash on Victor’s face, and he could feel the hot spread of the older man’s breath across his lips.

His heart exploded into a thrumming erratic beats and his palms were sweaty. He wasn’t sure if Victor was about to kiss him right then, in public, and without any warning. Yuuri closed his eyes and braced himself for the pain that was sure to come but there was nothing. When he opened his eyes again he saw Victor smiling just above him. Victor didn’t move to kiss him, instead he lifted his other hand and brushed a few stray hairs away from Yuuri’s forehead. Then he whispered, “You’re so beautiful Yuuri.”

Yuuri was flushed with embaressment and attraction. He glanced over to see where Chris stood, both eyebrows raised in shock and a sly smile on his face. “Sorry,” Victor chuckled, “it’s always fun to get a rise out of Chris.” Yuuri stuttered incoherently in response to Victor's words.

“I wasn’t joking,” Victor continued, “You’re beautiful Yuuri.”

“Victor!” Yuuri said in a little gasp. “I don’t think I can handle this right now.”

Victor laughed again in response and trailed one finger lightly over Yuuri’s cheek, leaving behind a burning line.

“Are you not worried about people seeing us?” Yuuri questioned, “We’re still in Russia after all.”

Victor seemed to consider this for a moment before simply shrugging his shoulders, “What are they going to do about it? I don’t mind, as long as you’re comfortable of course. I wont do anything too crazy, I promise.” Victor said with a wink.

Yuuri stammered, “I don’t really mind.” And looked down at his feet.

Several minutes later Victor and Yuuri were forced to separate for the first time since their meeting in the hallway. It was nearing time for the mens singles skaters to take the ice for the warmup and practice session. Yuuri caught himself glancing frequently in Victor’s direction. He was trying to focus on his own stretches and mentally go through his routine, but the distraction was powerful.

Celestino was well-aware of Yuuri’s struggles, “I know your mind is in a million different places right now Yuuri but you need to warm up properly or else you’re going to end up injured.”

Yuuri knew that Celestino was absolutely right, and he reprimanded himself silently and focused harder on warming up his body. After his muscles were warmed and loosened, and his skates had been thoroughly checked over for safety, Yuuri laced up. Celestino sat at his feet and double checked the laces and hooks for security before giving him a pat on the back.

“I want you to take it very easy out there on the ice during your warmups. If I see anything over a double you’re going to be in hot water. Start out slow, you’re body is weak and you’re going to feel sloppy at first.” Yuuri nodded to show his understanding.

Warmups went slightly better than Yuuri had expected them to. He followed Celestino’s instructions and started off slowly, shifting from one foot to the other and winding his way across the ice. He watched the other skaters and waited to see if Victor would join them, but every time he thought he saw Victor out of the corner of his eye he was mistaken. Celestino had noticed Yuuri's distraction and he called him over the the boards.

“Yuuri, stop looking for Victor. He left you here for now so you can focus on yourself for a few minutes. It was a very kind thing for him to do, so don’t waste this time. I promise you he’s still here in the building and I’m sure he’ll be back as soon as you’ve finished with practice.”

Yuuri was surprised to hear these words. Victor gave up his own practice time so that Yuuri could focus on warming up, and it sent a beat of warmth through his chest.

He smiled and nodded at his coach before turning back to the ice to finish his warmups.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to everyone who reads, comments, and leaves kudos. You guys are all really sweet and motivating, and your comments make me super happy <3
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> [tumblr](http://sumimuramo.tumblr.com/)


	5. Up in Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor had covered his ears the exact moment the score was read aloud and the surprise of the sudden physical contact had also distracted him from the screen where the numbers had been displayed. 
> 
> “The score, was it that bad?” Yuuri questioned both Victor and Celestino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon, who said this was going to follow the canon? I never said that. (I have destroyed all of the canon I'm so sorry.)
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>  
> 
> Please enjoy! <3 <3 <3

Yuuri stood with his hands pressed against a wall, ear buds tucked in to block out noise, and his back arched in a stretch to target the muscles of his upper back. Celestino stood off to the side and thumbed through a small booklet. Yuuri closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he stretched, then shifted positions to twist his back and loosen a new set of muscles. He concentrated on the music as it slipped into his ears.

He always listened to quiet instrumental songs just before taking the ice. Upbeat songs were good for building excitement, but they also tended to cause his anxiety to rise during the times when he felt the most pressure to perform. Yuuri reached down towards his feet to stretch the muscles at the back of his legs. He opened his eyes as he pressed the palms of his hands against the floor, and then he noticed a second pair of feet just beside his own. They were wearing black skates with a hint of gold glinting from beneath the skate guards.

Yuuri stood up quickly, popping the ear buds out. Victor smiled down at Yurri and placed fingers lightly against the younger man’s cheek.

“It’s almost time.” Victor spoke soothingly.

Yuuri responded, “Shouldn’t you be getting ready now? You’re going before me.”

Victor rested his head back against the wall, “I can’t concentrate when I’m away form you.”

Yuuri cleared his throat and turned his head to see Celestino watching them with an unimpressed look on his face.

“Well you shouldn’t just be standing here, you need to keep your muscles warm. What if you end up hurting yourself out on the ice?” Yuuri said with a worried tone in his voice.

“Just standing next to you keeps all of my muscles more than warm enough.” Victor said with a smirk.

Yuuri ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face. His skin was slightly sweaty from the exertion of his warmup session, and his glasses were starting to fog slightly in the cold air of the rink. Victor reached a hard forward and Yuuri followed its movement with his gaze as the older man lifted his glasses from his nose gently. Victor wiped the lenses clean with the fabric of his jacket.

Yuuri watched as the features of Victor’s face blurred slightly when his glasses were taken from him. He reached out to take his glasses back from his soulmate, but Victor held them beyond his reach.

“Victor?” Yuuri questioned, “I can’t see.”

Victor studied Yuuri intently for a moment before speaking.

“This look really suits you.” He said.

Yuuri wasn’t sure exactly what Victor meant by that statement. He squinted his eyes a bit to get a better picture of Victor’s face. Victor reached forward once again and placed his palm against Yuuri’s sternum.

Yuuri only just managed to suppress an exclamation of pain but he couldn’t stop himself from flinching backwards slightly.

“Sorry,” Victor said calmly, “I really wanted to feel your heartbeat.”

Victor held out the hand with Yuuri’s glasses and dropped them back into his palm. “Wish me luck Yuuri.”

Yuuri slipped his glasses back into place and replied, “Good luck Victor.”

When Yuuri had turned back around Celestino had returned to thumbing through his pamphlet, pretending like he hadn’t witnessed any part of what had just happened.

“I suppose you want to go out to the rink to watch Victor’s performance?” Celestino said in a defeated tone.

Yuuri smiled and quietly thanked some invisible force beyond for granting him such a tolerant and understanding coach. “With your permission?” Yuuri said happily.

Yuuri watched from a dozen meters away as Victor removed his team jacket and revealed his costume. The outfit was completely black and shaped like the coat of a tuxedo. The back fanned out behind Victor as he skated slowly across the ice, gliding and turning for a few moments before finally settling in the center. The front of the costume was embellished with the image of a large golden rose. A few more gold details shone on the cufflinks, the hem of his trousers, and of course were matched perfectly with the golden glint of Victor’s blades.

Victor skated beautifully. His lack of concentration and practice earlier in the day had no apparent influence on his ability to perform. As the music swelled and dipped, so did Victor’s body. Yuuri felt himself biting his own lip hard, his hands pressed against his chest, and his eyes glued to Victor. This was the first time he had ever seen Victor skate live and in person, and it was immeasurably better than anything he had previously witnessed on TV.

When Victor’s short program was finished he came to rest with one knee against the ice. He was looking straight at Yuuri, and his smile was beautifully blinding. The crowd cheered at a deafening volume, prideful of the performance just given by their beloved national hero.

Yuuri wanted to run to Victor, and wrap his arms around his soulmate. He wasn’t afraid of the pain. He just wanted to feel the warmth of his body against the other. But Victor had ended up skating in the direction away from Yuuri, towards the exit door of the rink. Yuuri watched as Victor approached his coach, and in that moment Yuuri fully expected to see Yakov turn a cold shoulder towards his student. Yakov surprised Yuuri, and from the look of it Victor as well, but placing a firm hand on Victor’s shoulder and giving an approving squeeze. Then the pair turned and made their way to the bench of the kiss-and-cry to await Victor’s final score.

103.16 was the score read out loud, and it was an incredibly impressive numeric at that. Yuuri smiled to himself as he heard the results, he was so happy to see Victor succeed. From a distance Yuuri tried to make out the expression on Victor’s face. Victor didn’t look very happy, but he didn’t look particularly upset either. His face appeared neutral and blank. Still, he stood up from the bench and turned to wave graciously at the crowd, blowing a few kisses out to the stands.

Yuuri watched Victor for a few more moments, wondering if he might get a chance to catch him in a hug before it was his own turn to skate. He quickly dismissed the thought, as he knew Victor would be busy with interviews for a while, and then he would need to go into another room for his cool-down exercises. Yuuri was skating fourth in the lineup today, and it wouldn’t be long before it was his chance to take the ice. He wondered if Victor would be able to watch his performance after all.

Yuuri slipped his ear buds in place and turned away from the rink to take advantage of his last few moments alone before the performance. He could hear the crowd cheering and the muffled voice of the announcer cutting through the music as he jogged in place. In his mind he went over the order of the elements in his own program, envisioning a successful completion of each jump and spin.

In between mental images of his short program choreography, brief flickers of anxious thoughts interrupted his focus. A memory of Vicchan walking along side Yuuri at the beach swirled in his mind, and then hazy images of angry reporters and fans surged up. Yuuri breathed deeply and concentrated on the pleasant sensation of spinning out on the ice. An imagined scenario, where Yuuri launched into a jump only to find himself crashing into the boards, whirled at the front of his attention. Yuuri chased this thought away with the memory of Victor’s hand holding his own.

Yuuri felt like only a handful of seconds had passed, but Celestino was tapping him on the shoulder and he knew it was time for him to make his way to the side of the rink. Yuuri stripped off his jacket and revealed the blue material of his costume.

When his name was called from the speakers above Yuuri glanced around quickly to see if Victor had made it back in time to watch his performance. There was no sign of the older man and he suppressed a small pang of disappointment. The media was probably still swarming Victor, and Yuuri understood how difficult it would be for him to escape the attention after such an outstanding performance.

Yuuri stepped onto the ice and pushed off towards the center of the rink. Normally he would spend a few moments circling the ice and getting comfortable on his feet but he really just wanted to get this performance over with. He breathed deeply and set his body into the starting position of his program.

The swell of music began and Yuuri lifted his face upwards. Directly in front of his gaze he caught the sight of Victor jogging towards the edge of the rink and his heart caught in his throat. Victor had made it just in time to see him perform, and Yuuri’s chest was filled with warmth.

He felt a sense of renewed confidence knowing Victor was present with him now, and he turned easily into his first spin. His body felt light and warm. His muscles responded easily to his mind’s demands, and the music flowed over him like water.

Yuuri had made the decision to lower the difficulty of his first jump immensely in an attempt to set himself up for success throughout the rest of the performance. The change would cost him points, and there was no way he could ever hope to win with such simplified elements, but he had made peace with the idea and decided to focus on his own sanity for the moment.

Yuuri completed his first jump easily. The landing felt smooth and steady and his mind flushed with a happy sensation. This was exactly what he needed to give him the confidence to push forward.

His feet moved through the familiar choreography with more ease than he had anticipated. His second spin was more treacherous but he was confident in his spins and remained stable. His second jump was a triple axel. He focused on the pleasant feeling he had experienced during the landing of his first jump and launched his body into the air. He knew he hadn’t put enough force behind the jump the instant his feet left the ice. He struggled to get through the rotations and came down too early.

The fall was massive and painful. His body skidded across the ice for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity until he was able to push himself back up. His brain took a few moments to find his place in the choreography after losing the timing to the mistake, but he pushed through. The program was coming to a close and Yuuri to downgrade his final jump from a quad combo to something more manageable. He had lost his feelings of confidence on the ice during his fall and he wanted to finish as strong as he had started.

He defaulted to a jump combination he had had success with countless times in the past that must have looked just as nice as it felt to perform because the crowd cheered loudly. Yuuri let himself be taken into his final spin by the supportive cheers around him and he finished with a flourish, feeling happy despite the problems he had faced.

When he looked up he could see Victor’s face smiling back at him. He felt his own smile spread across his lips and turned to make his way towards the exit.

Celestino joined him at the kiss-and-cry and gave him a pat on the back.

“You made some good decisions out there. I’m proud of you for not giving up.” Celestino said.

Yuuri was not really interested in seeing or hearing his score. He knew it was going to be low, probably placing him in last place, and he felt good about himself in that moment. Celestino was right, he had made good decisions out on the ice. He had made the best out of an ill-fated situation, and he wasn’t about to let the technicalities of competition and scoring bring him down.

Still, Yuuri sat on the bench of the kiss-and-cry with his coach because he didn’t want to appear to the public in a disrespectful manner or like a sore-loser. Then his name and country was announced over the sound system and he braced himself for the score to be read aloud.

He waited several seconds, but there was no announcement and instead the sides of his head and his ears ignited with a strong heat. He jumped at the sensation and looked up to see Victor standing behind him and peering down with his hands pressed over Yuuri’s ears. Victor’s bangs hung across his blue eyes and brushed the tip of his own nose. Then Victor bent forward and pressed one gentle yet scorching kiss against Yuuri’s forehead.

When Victor released his hands his voice replaced the lost heat as smooth warm words made their way to Yuuri’s ears.

“You were so strong Yuuri. I’m proud of you.” Victor said sweetly.

The statement surprised him, “Th-thank you Victor” Yuuri murmured. “You were outstanding though.”

Victor shook his head slightly, “I liked your performance better.”

Yuuri didn’t understand how that was possible but he accepted Victor’s excessively gratuitous praise. He also was suddenly aware of how Victor had just been touching him, and even planted a kiss on his forehead, in front of many cameras on live television. Yuuri’s face burned a deep red as he considered the implication of what had just occurred. The news of Victor and Yuuri’s connection would officially be out in the public now.

He also realized he had missed the announcement of his own score when Victor had appeared. Victor had covered his ears the exact moment the score was read aloud and the surprise of the sudden physical contact had also distracted him from the screen where the numbers had been displayed.

“The score, was it that bad?” Yuuri questioned both Victor and Celestino.

“No, it wasn’t that bad Yuuri.” Celestino assured him gently.

“I don’t want you to think about it now.” Victor said. “It doesn’t matter, just focus on moving forward.”

Yuuri understood what was happening and he wasn’t unhappy about it. Celestino and Victor were protecting him, and not because they thought he was weak, but because they cared about him and they knew what he really needed in the moment was support and positivity. Yuuri would easily be able to find his score later if he wanted to, but for now he was content just basking in his own small sense of accomplishment and acceptance of the situation.

Yuuri stood up from his seat on the bench when a young girl approached him carrying an armful of flowers and gifts she had gathered from the surface of the ice after his performance. Yuuri thanked her and accepted the gifts. In the pile he spotted a small stuffed dog with curly hair and floppy ears. He felt the prick of tears at the corner of his eyes as he held the small stuffed toy in his hand.

A sudden gasp from Victor surprised him, “Ah! A little poodle plushie!” Victor cooed.

Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden outburst form his soulmate. He turned to look at Victor’s delighted expression and smiled at the sight.

“Here, for you.” Yuuri said as he handed the small plush toy to Victor.

Victor answered, “Oh no I can’t! It was a gift intended for you!”

“I want you to have it. You really like it, and that makes me happy. I’m sure whoever sent it out onto the ice would agree.”

Victor took the small poodle in his hand and smiled as he nuzzled the artificial fur against his cheek. Yuuri laughed again at the sight and all the negative thoughts that had been plaguing him before vanished in an instant.

 

* * *

 

            Victor walked hand in hand with Yuuri down small street the evening after the short program performances ended. He had a lot on his mind but the pleasant warmth of Yuuri’s hand in his own kept him grounded. The intensity of heat had already begun to fade a bit when Yuuri and himself were holding hands. This type of touch was becoming more familiar between them so the nearly-painful burn had been reduced to a more comforting heat. However, Victor was still able to draw sharp breathes of surprise from Yuuri when he touched new areas of his body. A hand against Yuuri’s upper arm still burned strongly, and a stroke of a finger across the back of Yuuri’s neck practically sizzled.

            Victor had been thinking a lot about Yuuri and their future together. He wasn’t prepared to part ways with Yuuri now that they had found each other. The pull between them was too powerful to ignore. He was ready to do almost anything he had to in order to ensure that he wouldn’t be separated from Yuuri after the Grand Prix ended.

            He was also anxious for the competition to come to end. Already people had begun to speculate that Yuuri and himself were soulmates, or were at least involved romantically with each other. The evidence for the news was the kiss Victor had placed on Yuuri’s forehead after his short program performance. Victor knew the kiss would stir up controversy and drama, but he figured it was better to get it over with and out of the way as soon as possible rather than letting things stretch out.

            The big issue nagging at Victor now was the thousands of disgusting comments being left by jealous and disrespectful fans online. People were latching onto the discrepancy in points between Yuuri’s and Victor’s short program scores and using it as fuel to claim Yuuri was an unfit match for Victor. Victor seethed at the idiocy of these claims and wished the people making them could become aware of everything Yuuri had had to overcome during the previous few days.

Yuuri’s score had been low because he had been forced to reimagine his program to better serve the current condition of his body and mind. Victor was impressed with Yuuri’s maturity and level of forethought and thought the younger man deserved immense praise for overcoming his obstacles in such a tasteful manner.

Victor’s own score had been high, thanks mostly to the points earned through his difficult technical elements. But he hadn’t left the ice feeling inspired or happy, just complacent and bored. Yuuri’s performance had much more emotional pull and drama than his own, and he wished other people could see Yuuri the same way he did.

Victor no longer had any drive to win gold this season. If he won it would probably only contribute to the inconsiderate prodding that Yuuri was being subjected to online. So far Victor had succeeded at keeping Yuuri away from his phone and computer in an attempt to prevent him from reading any of the hurtful messages that were being said about him. But he knew he could only prolong the time until Yuuri made the discovery, and before then Victor needed to think of some way to fight back.

“What do you want to eat?” Victor turned to ask Yuuri.

“Ah, I’m not really sure. I don’t know much about Russian cuisine.” Yuuri admitted.

Victor placed a finger on his chin and thought for a moment, “It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. How about we stop by a food cart for shashlyk? It’s pretty much just skewered meat and vegetables. Very delicious though!”

Yuuri smiled and nodded along with the idea. “That sounds great!” He was starving and would probably be happy eating just about anything at this point.

After ordering their food and enjoying the warm meal outside in the chilly air, they ducked inside a small café to relax. Victor ordered coffee for himself and tea for Yuuri and they sat together at a small table in the back of the building. Heavy white flakes of snow had begun to fall slowly in the dark night visible through a nearby window. Victor felt comfortable tucked inside the building with Yuuri at his side functioning like a small personal heater.

“Can I ask you something important?” Victor directed his words towards Yuuri.

“Ah, s-sure?” Yuuri replied, a look of nervousness on his face.

“Nothing bad.” Victor said with a smile.

“Okay,” Yuuri answered, looking more relaxed.

“What do you want me to be to you?” Victor questioned. He wasn’t sure how comfortable Yuuri was yet with the idea of them being a couple. It was the most natural thing for soulmates to be involved romantically, but it also wasn’t uncommon for two soulmates to take their time getting to know each other before officially deciding to enter a romantic or sexual relationship.

Yuuri’s face was flushed red with a blush, a state that seemed to be a common sight lately. He took a few moments to think and collect his thoughts before speaking. “I want to stay by your side Victor.” Yuuri said with more confidence than Victor had honestly expected from him.

“I’ll be happy to allow such a request.” Victor said.

“But I don’t want you to have to give anything up because of me.” Yuuri admitted.

Victor considered this statement for a moment. He thought about everything he had in that moments and considered the weight of letting it go. He was satisfied with what he had accomplished, and he had already pushed himself beyond his greatest goals and hopes for his career. Besides Yuuri, the things he loved most were his friends and his hometown. Staying with Yuuri didn’t need to mean the end of his love for those things. Besides, the prospect of being with Yuuri opened up so many exciting new opportunities and experiences that there could hardly be anything that could stop him from pursuing his relationship with his soulmate.

Victor started to speak again, “I want you to realize that I’m being completely honest with you when I say this Yuuri; there’s nothing I wouldn’t do or wouldn’t give up for a chance to stay by your side.”

Victor reached forward to take hold of Yuuri’s hand before continuing, “Everything worthwhile I ever did in my life was because of you. You’re the reason I fell in love with skating, and you mean so much more to be than any medal or trophy ever has. The world is quite literally a cold place when I’m apart from you and I don’t want to ever have to experience that again. So when I tell you that I want to stay with you, I don’t want you to worry that I’m not being honest with you. I don’t want you to doubt my reasons for being with you. My motives are entirely selfish.”

Yuuri listened to Victor’s words while wearing dueling expressions of disbelief and relief. Victor gave Yuuri’s hand a gentle squeeze and studied the flushed face of his soulmate. His brown eyes sparkled invitingly under the lights of the café. The younger man bit at his own bottom lip absentmindedly. He seemed to be thinking deeply about what he was going to say next.

Yuuri seemed to decide on question for Victor. “Can I ask… if it isn’t too personal of a question, what are your plans for the future?”

Victor hummed low and tilted his head to the side. Until very recently he had been conflicted about his future plans, but his meeting with Yuuri had served to solidify his decision. He shot a smile at Yuuri before speaking, “Now don’t panic when I tell you this,” Victor said with a small laugh, “I’ve already given it a lot of thought, this isn’t a decision I would make lightly.” Victor said this with a more serious tone in hopes that Yuuri wouldn’t argue with him.

“After tomorrow is over, after the awards ceremony, I will be officially announcing my retirement.” Victor finished.

Yuuri looked stunned by this information, but he didn’t yell at Victor or argue with him. Instead he replied with a quiet steady voice, “If you’re sure Victor. I think you should do whatever makes you happiest.”

Victor reveled in a wave of relief and gratitude for Yuuri. He hadn’t expected his statement to be met with such acceptance.

“Yuuri, thank you.” Is all he managed to say in reply.

Yuuri squeezed Victor’s hand in support.

They left the café together and made their way back towards the hotel. Victor wanted to make sure Yuuri got a full night of sleep before the free skate performance the next day. As they walked Victor couldn’t help but smile.

Yuuri spoke suddenly, “After you make the announcement, for your retirement, what’s next?”

Victor replied, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Yuuri seemed confused and shook his head.

“I want to be with you. So I suppose that means I’ll follow you back home to Japan. Only if you’re okay with that of course?”

The look of shock on Yuuri’s face made Victor laugh. It seemed so obvious to him that his would be the natural next step in their relationship. After all, the only real ties Victor had to his home in Russia were his coach and fellow Russian team members. He’d miss all of their company of course, but Yuuri was still young and had years of competitive skating left in his career so they would have many chances to travel for competitions and visit with Victor’s friends. Victor would definitely miss the experience of living in Russia as well, but the small sacrifice paled in comparison to the potential gains of living with Yuuri.

“I’m happy to rent an apartment on my own. There would be no pressure, we can still take things slowly.” Victor attempted to reassure Yuuri.

“That is what I want more than anything else.” Victor admitted.

Yuuri had stopped walked and was playing with a button on the front of his coat. Victor thought it looked like he wanted to say something but he was hesitant.

“Tell me what you think. I want to hear your honest opinions." Victor said.

Yuuri fidgeted a moment longer before speaking, “Well, earlier you asked me what I wanted you to be to me.”

Victor nodded, “Yes.”

Yuuri looked really nervous. Victor wanted to comfort his soulmate, but he considered what Yuuri might need most in that moment was the space to think and say whatever was on his mind.

“At first I thought this might be too selfish of a request for me to make of you.”

Victor shook his head slightly, “It’s not, whatever it is. I would do anything for you.”

Yuuri clenched his hands at his side and continued speaking, “Then, what I want you to be to me… is my coach.” Yuuri blurted out, but then he continued to speak in a quiet voice – almost a whisper, “and… and my lover.”

Victor could hardly believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t expected a request like this from Yuuri. But he was happy, really happy. Before he could stop himself he bolted forward, wrapping Yuuri in a tight embrace and burying his face in the younger man’s hair. His body responded by shooting off sparks of heat like fireworks. He was in a daze of emotion and sensation. Yuuri whimpered beneath him but didn’t pull away. Instead, Victor could feel Yuuri’s hands grasping at the material of his coat on his back, holding tight.

“Yes and yes.” Victor said breathlessly. 

 

* * *

 

Yuuri woke up the next morning feeling happier and healthier than he had in days. Despite his unpreparedness for his free skate, the night before he had allowed Victor to take him out for dinner as a celebration. Thinking about it now made his stomach flip and his heart beat too quickly.

Victor had dropped the bombshell of his retirement on him, and in turn Yuuri had asked Victor to be his coach and lover. After a night of sleep the conversations of the previous evening seemed distant and dream-like. Had he really said those things? But still, he didn’t regret his own openness and he wouldn’t change the reality of what had happened even if he could.

He showered and dressed quickly, and then sent a text to Victor to let him know he was awake and ready. Victor had promised to treat him to breakfast that morning to make sure he was properly fueled and prepared for his free skate. Yuuri met Victor in the lobby. He loved standing next to Victor, it made him feel warm and ready to take on the world.

They ate buckwheat pancakes topped with bananas and peanut butter for breakfast. Yuuri drank three glasses of orange juice and Victor sipped on a mug of black coffee. After breakfast they took a walk through a nearby park and Victor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head afterwards. Yuuri couldn’t have imagined a better start to the day.

They entered the rink around ten in the morning and checked in. Celestino was meeting up with Yuuri in a few minutes and Yuuri decided to get a head start on stretching. Victor offered to help with his stretches but Yuuri had refused when he imagined the consequences of having Victor’s hands on his body as he contorted himself into evocative positions.

Celestino was delighted to find Yuuri in such a positive mood. Yuuri and his coach spent the next hour stretching and talking over strategies out on the ice. Yuuri had multiple arrangements for the elements in his free skate planned. The difficult choices would be made when he was out on the ice. He had to listen to his body and consider his mental state at every moment during his performance so he could make sure he made the best decisions possible to maximize his score while avoiding injury and fatigue.

Time moved quickly, and before long it was time for Yuuri to take the ice for his warmup and practice session. Just like the day before, Victor was absent from this ice during this time. Yuuri didn’t question Victor’s motives for remaining out of sight, and instead he turned all of his energy and focus inward. The warmup session went startlingly well and Yuuri was ecstatic. He had allowed himself to attempt a quad jump during his practice time and he had landed it just as well as he ever had before.

When he came off the ice Celestino was there with a bottle of water and a cloth so that Yuuri could wipe away the sweat. He was already wearing his costume under his team jacket, so the only thing left to do was wait until it was his turn. Yuuri was going first today because his score had been the lowest out of everyone’s in the short program.

As the time until he was to skate grew nearer, Yuuri moved to the edge of the rink with Celestino to wait. He concentrated on his breathing, thinking about relaxing and remembering all of the supportive people he had backing him. Five minutes before he was to take the ice he felt a very warm touch from behind. Victor smiled him and rubbed a slow circle on his lower back. Yuuri relaxed into the touch and smiled.

“Good luck Yuuri.” Victor said.

“Thanks. You too.” Yuuri answered.

“I’ll be watching from here. I know you’ll do great.”

“I’m happy.” Yuuri smiled.

When Yuuri heard his name being announced he skated onto the ice with confidence. This time he took a few moments to circle the fresh sheet of ice. He made several looping turns and then allowed himself to jump into a small single toe loop before entering into a quick scratch spin and exiting back to the center of the ice. He took up his starting position and waiting for the music to begin.

His program flowed effortlessly. He was calm and took on each new element with confidence. Once again he started slowly, building up from easier jumps to more difficult ones. His body responded to the demands he placed on it with ease. He could feel Victor’s eyes on him and he skated through the program with his soulmate’s name on his mind. He felt free as he prepared himself to enter the final jump sequence in his program. It was a combo jump again, but this time he was aiming to complete two much more treacherous jumps. If he managed to pull it off it would not only be impressive, but earn him a large chunk of points at the same time.

Yuuri built up his speed and launched into the first half of the combo. This time he had gathered the power he needed to complete the rotations and he touched down smoothly, immediately preparing himself to launch a second time. He was tired, but he knew he still had it in him, so he quieted his mind and took off in the air. The jump felt right, he turned in the air and started coming down, in the last moment he realized his balance was shifted off too far to the side, and a jolt of fear shot through him. He braced himself and when he came down his ankle bent inward, the edge of the blade slipping out beneath him; he hit the ice with a loud thud.

Pain radiated throughout his body and the only thing he could do was lie against the cold surface of the ice. Yuuri was in disbelief. He had nearly finished the program. Everything had been perfect up until that point. Now seconds were ticking by and his body still felt numb and frozen. There was no way he would finish the performance at this point, he would just have to lie helpless until someone came to carry him off the ice.

The arena was shockingly silent. He could hear the muffled muttering of an announcer in the distance, but the words were foreign and unintelligible. Then a warm familiar voice floated past him. It was Victor, calling his name.

Yuuri looked up to see a panicked expression on Victor’s face. Only a moment later Victor bent down to knock his own skate guards from his blades and he was out on the ice, skating towards Yuuri. He could hear people shouting Victor’s name, trying to stop him from interfering. Yuuri knew what Victor was doing was irresponsible and definitely not permissible, but a part of him didn’t care because Yuuri felt awful in that moment and Victor was coming to his side.

When Victor reached Yuuri he dropped to his knees and ghosted the tips of his fingers across Yuuri’s body.

“Are you okay?” Victor said with a pained voice.

Yuuri closed his eyes and focused on the feel of his body beneath him. He side was throbbing painfully and he thought he might be in shock, but slowly he began moving various muscles in his body and there were no overwhelming bites of pain.

“I think I’m okay.” Yuuri answered.

Victor placed one hand against Yuuri’s cheek, “You didn’t hit your head did you? Try not to move.”

Yuuri closed his eyes and focused on the feel of heat coming from Victor’s hand. “I didn’t hit my head. I’m okay Victor, don’t worry. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

Victor bent over and kissed Yuuri’s temple softly. “I’m sorry.” He said with a hitch in his voice. “You did so well. You were beautiful. It was amazing.”

Yuuri allowed himself to smile softly, “It was too much of a good thing. I shouldn’t have pushed for the quad at the end. That was stupid of me.”

Victor ran gentle fingers through his hair, “That’s not true. You’re more than capable of landing that jump. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

Just then the small team of medics reached the couple and Yuuri heard a woman speak,

“Mr. Nikiforov I’m going to have to ask you to exit the ice. We’ll take it from here.”

Victor looked at Yuuri sadly and allowed himself to be pulled away and into a standing position. His spot in front of Yuuri was immediately replaced by a female medic who chastised Yuuri for moving his head and began examining his body.

“I’m fine.” Yuuri informed the team of medics, “I don’t have any major injuries and I didn’t hit my head. I can leave the ice on my own.”

The woman in front of him seemed unsure but paused a moment while Yuuri lifted his own body off the ice and into a sitting position. He was in pain, but it was bearable. He thought he might have cracked a rib or two after all, but it wasn’t anything serious enough to warrant a stretcher or require immediate medical attention. After all, skaters fell all the time and he was thankful this mistake didn’t result in a very serious injury.

The medics helped Yuuri into a standing position and the crowd cheered loudly as he slowly made his way off the ice and towards the exit. Celestino and Victor were waiting for him by the door with anxious looks on their faces. Yuuri set a small smile on his face to show them he was okay.

Once he was back with his coach Celestino led him to a nearby bench and helped him sit down. Victor followed and hovered nearby looking distressed. Celestino asked if Yuuri wanted to go to the hospital but Yuuri shook his head and tried his best not to move his upper body much.

“Not yet.” He said, “I want to see Victor skate first.”

“Yuuri, I don’t really think that’s a good idea…” Celestino trailed off.

“No!” Demanded Victor, “Absolutely not. I’m not skating.”

Yuuri looked at Victor in disbelief. “What! Of course you’re skating. What are you saying?”

Victor pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead and shook his head, “I can’t skate like this, I’m too shaken up. I’m staying here with you instead.” Victor looked at Yuuri intensely, “Or I’m taking you to the hospital! That’s what you need right now and it will be confusing if you don’t have someone with you to interpret so I need to go.”

“No!” Yuuri parroted back to Victor, “I’m fine Victor! I don’t need to go to the hospital right now and I refuse to allow you to throw away this opportunity just because I fell and got a few bruises.”

Victor looked upset to see Yuuri yell at him.

Yuuri continued to speak, but lowered his voice so that Victor and Celestino would be the only people who could hear him, “Besides, if what you told me yesterday is true, this is your last chance to skate in this type of situation and I want to see you do well.”

Yuuri was nearly in tears at this point, “I want to see you skate like this, one last time. So please, for me, just go out there and do your best.”

Victor covered his face with both of his hands and then knelt down in front of Yuuri.

“I don’t care about competitions anymore Yuuri. I don’t care about winning. I don’t want the press conferences or the interviews.”

“I understand, but I’m not asking you to skate because I want you to win. I’m asking you to skate for me, because I want to see it. So please Victor, go get ready because I’m not going to give in until you’ve completed your free skate out on the ice today.”

Victor sighed and looked up at Yuuri’s face for a few moments.

“Okay.” He relented in a defeated voice. “I’ll be skating for you and only you. I don’t care about anyone else.”

Yuuri accepted Victor’s conditions and smiled in appreciation. He placed his hand against Victor’s cheek and said, “Thank you. Now go get ready. I’ll be here watching you.”

Victor stood and glanced back at Yuuri once more time before making his way back to the spot where Yakov was standing. Yuuri winced internally as he imagined the harsh words and cruel treatment Yakov was likely to give Victor after witnessing his latest stunt. He waited patiently until it was almost time for Victor to take the ice, and then as his soulmate removed his red and white team jacket Yuuri stared in confusion at Victor’s costume. It wasn’t Victor’s free skate costume; it was something different that Yuuri had never seen before.

Victor skated out onto the ice wearing a costume designed to look like a sheer and magenta uniform overcoat worn over a partially open white shirt. Gold ropes accented the coat across the front and left shoulder. It looked regal and sophisticated on Victor’s frame.

But why had he changed costumes at his point in the competition? Had something happened to his normal costume? Yuuri had never seen this particular outfit before and he was certain it wasn’t an older costume of Victor’s. So did that mean Victor had purchased this new costume recently, and why?

A moment later Yuuri’s surprise at the costume change turned to shock when the music began playing and it sounded nothing like Victor’s normal program. Victor, on the other hand, didn’t seem surprised in the least bit. He immediately raised his head in time with the music, dipping with the fall of the notes and trailing one hand languidly over his head. Yuuri watched intently and realized that Victor had planned this change in programs ahead of time.

The announcers seemed dazed and confused as they rudely spoke in Russian overtop Victor’s program music. A moment passed and then Celestino had pulled a webpage up on his phone where someone was giving live commentary on Victor’s performance in English. Yuuri didn’t take his eyes off Victor as his soulmate skated. The new program was beautiful, absolutely breathtaking and Yuuri wished everyone else in the arena would quiet down and allow themselves to watch for a few more minutes.

Beside him, Yuuri could hear a woman’s voice, the American commentator’s words slipping from Celestino’s phone:

_In a shocking reveal it appears that four-time world champion Victor Nikiforov of team Russia has decided to make a last minute change to his free skate program. He has replaced his entire performance with something completely new, even down to the costume and music used. This decision on Nikiforov’s part is undeniably against the rules and will most likely lead to his disqualification from the competition._

Another American announcer cut in, this time a male voice:

_You’re absolutely right Ashley, and I have to say Victor’s fans in Russia appear shocked by this sudden decision. In the first few seconds many people assumed the change in costume and music was somehow a mistake, but as we can all see by Victor’s continuation with the program, the decision was purposeful._

_This surprising turn of events follows a very recent controversy involving Victor Nikiforov and fellow skater Yuuri Katsuki after they were spotted in several intimate interactions with each other just yesterday. Many people have speculated that Katsuki and Nikiforov may be soulmates and some fans are not happy about the possibility._

_Today’s accident involving skater Katuski’s fall on the ice and Nikiforov’s immediate response to the Japanese skater’s side seems to support the previous allegations –_

Yuuri tried his best to block out the English words drifting over from Celestino’s phone. He wanted to concentrate on Victor’s performance. He wanted everyone else in the building to disappear so that it was only Victor and himself in this moment.

“Can you turn that off?” Yuuri found himself snapping at Celestino. Almost immediately the broadcast from the phone was silenced and Yuuri relaxed.

Victor moved across the ice effortlessly. His body bent in beautiful sweeping motions, his legs propelled him into perfect jumps and magnificent landings, his spins left delicate carvings in the ice. Yuuri didn’t want to look away, didn’t want the program to end. Victor’s words echoed in his mind: _I’ll be skating for you and only you_. He really was skating for Yuuri and no one else. This program was grounds for his disqualification, and beside that, everyone else in the audience seemed too overwhelmed by surprise or too consumed by gossip to give Victor’s skating the proper attention it deserved.

Victor finished his program and promptly left the ice. Yuuri noticed that Yakov was nowhere near the boards and his heart sunk. Victor was going to be at the receiving end of so much criticism and anger and the idea of people lashing out at his soulmate made Yuuri feel sick.

Yuuri watched as Victor stepped from the ice, replaced his skate guards, and then began walking directly towards the spot where Yuuri was sitting. Victor came to a halt in front of his soulmate and stared into Yuuri’s face with a blank expression. Yuuri felt a lump form in his throat as he looked up at Victor. Then tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his face.

“It was beautiful Victor.” Yuuri cried. “You were so beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

Then Victor was on his knees, wrapping his arms around Yuuri in what must have been the gentlest hug ever given. Yuuri buried his face in Victor’s hair, ignoring the intense burn of their bodies against each other, and cried tears of surprise and love.

They stayed like that for several minutes, Yuuri slowly getting a handle on his own emotions and drying his eyes of tears. They both were well aware of the fact that dozens of cameras were aimed directly at them; the media was probably going insane right at that moment. Yuuri didn’t care what people had to say, their words couldn’t touch them and he was happy with Victor’s arms wrapped around him.

Yuuri was the first person to speak, “Why did you do that?”

Victor stayed silent for a moment and then replied, “I had to fight back. I was sick and tired of hearing and reading the negativity. And I wanted to have the last laugh before I announced my retirement. I wanted to go out with a bang, and leave the world with a shocking surprise to remember me by.” Victor was smiling now. “I don’t regret it.”

Yuuri heard himself laughing a little bit. The situation was so bizarre and ridiculous; it was kind of funny. “Now people might be too busy freaking out over your crazy performance to pay much attention to our _‘intimate interactions’_ ” Yuuri said somewhat sarcastically.

“That was sort of the idea.” Victor laughed.

“You can’t be serious! Victor!” Yuuri said in surprise. “Please tell me you didn’t just do all this to protect me from the mean comments online. I’m a grown man, I can take it.”

Victor really laughed that time. “I know Yuuri. I did it because I wanted to. I did it because it made me happy.”

“And you choreographed this whole program overnight? I’m having a hard time believing that.” Yuuri questioned.

Victor ruffled Yuuri’s hair. “Obviously not. It’s something I’ve been working on for a long time. It’s always been dedicated to you though, even before I knew who you were. The song is called _Stammi Vicino_. I had it composed specifically with my soulmate in mind. It was a cry out into the world for you to come find me, because it was killing me to wait.”

Yuuri smiled, tears threatening to emerge from behind his eyes once again, but he managed to stay composed. “You’re kind of an idiot.” he teased.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so thank you everyone so much for reading! THANK YOU!
> 
> I must admit that I do not know very much about the inner workings of the Grand Prix series, and I don't really know all the obscure rules and reasonings for disqualification and such. So lets all just pretend like I know what I'm talking about for this fic haha. Unless something is like really really really glaringly wrong, then I guess feel free to tell me, but I'm also probably not going to rewrite this chapter unless it's any easy fix :)
> 
> **I'm rewriting this portion of the notes :D because I'm now very aware of the fact that Victor's FS program at Sochi GPF in the canon material was his Stammi Vicino performance. However, the way I wrote about the performances in this chapter does not match up with the canon, so for the sake of this fic please pretend that Victor had different SP and FS performances for Sochi than we've ever seen before. This goes along with the black and gold costume I have described Victor wearing in his SP - I made this costume up obviously. I've been planning on having Victor switch his FS program last minute for a long time but I also wanted to be able to include the Stammi Vicino performance in the fic because it's so meaningful to the relationship between Victor and Yuuri. I hope people are okay with these changes, and that they aren't too confusing!
> 
> I'm kind of amused with myself because I went into this thinking I was going to steer clear of angst except for just a little dabble here and there, but then I spend time writing and I keep catching myself and thinking, "am I writing angst right now? I think I am!" SO I'm sorry. 
> 
> I'm rambling, it's now 4:00am. Thank you all, goodnight.
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://sumimuramo.tumblr.com/)


	6. Scalding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY it took me so long to get this chapter posted. I feel really bad about it! ): The week before last I got really sick with a soul-sucking virus and then last week university started back up so I'm back in literal hell of constant classes, reading, and papers. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit of a transitional/fluff chapter and there's not a whole lot of plot-moving action here, but I hope you enjoy it and find it cute or whatever.

Yuuri was lying in bed, in his Sochi hotel room, with Victor sitting cross-legged at his side. The older man flipped through channels on the television with a bored look on his face. Yuuri tried his best not to make any harsh movements, less he experience an onslaught of sudden sharp pains in his side. He shifted his eyes to the side, keeping his head pointed straight, to get a better look at Victor’s blank face.

Just past Victor, slung haphazardly over the back of a hotel chair, was Yuuri’s bronze medal. Yuuri was still partially in disbelief about this development. He had been in too much pain to make it out to the podium for the award ceremony on his own so Victor had slung Yuuri’s arm over his shoulder and practically carried him onto the ice to receive the token of achievement.

Yuuri wasn’t _upset_ about the fact he had won a medal, but he hardly considered it an achievement considering he had only managed to make the podium thanks to Victor’s decision to disqualify himself from the competition. On top of that, the difference in scores between the fourth place finisher and Yuuri had been miniscule. In the end the Japanese skater found it easy to convince himself he didn’t really deserve the medal that had been placed around his neck.

Yuuri’s eyes flickered back to his soulmate when he heard Victor release a gruff sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked.

Victor looked over at him, his expression instantly shifting away from a weary stare towards a warm gaze. “Nothing’s wrong,” he smiled. “How are you feeling? Want me to get you anything?”

Yuuri started to shake his head but quickly changed his mind when the movement prompted a flare of discomfort, “Maybe some more ibuprofen, if you don’t mind.” Yuuri suggested.

“Of course.” Victor said as he rose from his spot and headed towards the bathroom. He returned to Yuuri’s side with several red pills and a small cup of water. Victor placed the pills and water on the beside table. “I’ll help you sit up,” Victor offered.

“Okay,” Yuuri replied, holding his hand out towards Victor. When Victor took it in his own, a gentle warmth spread from Yuuri’s fingers to his elbow. Victor placed his other hand just behind Yuuri’s neck, which sparked a much stronger heat, and helped Yuuri raise himself until he was sitting upright.

He felt a strong ache in his ribcage on the side where he had landed during his fall. He had been properly examined by a doctor the night of the accident and it had been determined that while Yuuri had bruised a few bones, there were no fractures and he would heal on his own in a week or two. Still, the soreness was uncomfortable and at times he would shift his weight in just a way as to cause a surge of sharp pain through his chest and back.

Victor hadn’t left Yuuri’s side since finishing his own surprise free skate program; Yuuri was very much okay with this fact. He took the pills and water from Victor and swallowed medication. Victor took the empty cup back and watched Yuuri’s face with a look of concern on his own.

“Do you want to try walking around a little? You shouldn’t let your muscles stiffen up too much, it’ll only make the pain worse.”

Yuuri groaned at the idea of movement, but he knew Victor was right. “I should shower first, I feel gross.” He had returned to his hotel room the night before too exhausted and painful from the competition to do anything other than pass out immediately on the bed. When he woke up Victor was sitting in bed with him, bare-chested, and sipping from a paper cup of cheap coffee while he watched the morning news on the hotel TV set. Yuuri laid in silence for several minutes, pretending to be asleep as he stealthily admired the view of Victor through his own dark eyelashes. He listened to the murmur of Russian language that drifted over form the news program and basked in the gentle heat that radiated from his soulmate’s nearby body.

“I’ll draw you a bath.” Victor stated in response to Yuuri’s request for a shower. “It’ll help loosen your muscles. Plus, I don’t want to have to worry about you falling in the shower.”

“Victor, I’m perfectly capable of standing on my own. I’m just a little sore, not completely immobilized.” Yuuri whined.

Victor looked back at Yuuri with disapproving gaze, “Still, it wont hurt to be cautious. Let me draw you a bath.”

“Fine,” Yuuri relented with a sigh, mostly because the thought of his sore body sinking into a hot bath was undeniably appealing in the moment.

Victor ambled off and Yuuri listened as the sound of rushing water filled the small hotel room. A moment later Victor’s voice echoed out from the tiled bathroom, “Do you want bubbles?”

“What?” Yuuri asked.

Victor’s head peaked out from the bathroom door, “Do you want me to make it a bubble bath or just a regular one?”

Yuuri heard himself replying without thinking, “Sure – uh, bubbles are fine. I guess.”

He could safely say that never before in his life had he taken a bubble bath. It seemed a little ridiculous now that he considered it, but growing up surrounded by hot springs meant Yuuri rarely had a need to bath in a standard indoor tub. And he was so accustomed to soaking in the clear hot water of the springs it had never occurred to him to add soaps or fragrances to his bath water.

A minute later Yuuri heard the running water being shut off and Victor returned to his side. He watched as the older man bent forward, arms extended towards Yuuri’s body.

“Ah, Victor. What are you doing?” Yuuri quickly interjected before Victor could completely slide his arms beneath Yuuri’s body.

“Carrying you – to the bath.” Victor replied looking baffled.

“N-no! I can walk on my own!” Yuuri stammered, his face flushing red.

“It’s fine Yuuri. You’re going to be stiff and sore after sleeping for so long. I’ll just help you a little.” Yuuri wondered at how Victor seemed genuinely confused as to why Yuuri wouldn’t want to be carried bridal-style across the three-meter expanse separating the bed from the tub.

“Victor!” He practically shrieked as he was lifted from the mattress and into the air. Victor had to shift his body in his arms a bit to get a more secure hold, and Yuuri winced slightly at the movement.

“I’m sorry!” Victor said softly in response.

“It’s okay,” Yuuri said; trying hard not to roll his eyes as Victor carried him into the bathroom.

He was lowered down into a standing position once inside the bathroom. Victor pressed a chaste kiss to the top of his head as he let him go. Then Yuuri jumped in surprise as Victor’s hands moved to the bottom of his shirt and started to lift the fabric up from his abdomen.

“Victor!” Yuuri exclaimed a second time. “I can undress myself.”

Victor halted his movements, cocking his head to the side. “Are you sure? It’s going to be hard to lift it over your own head with your side hurting like it is.”

Yuuri considered this for a moment, realizing Victor was probably right, but still he wasn’t about to let his soulmate strip him naked just then. Not when he was hurting and covered in ugly blotchy bruises and flushed red with embarrassment. “Thank you Victor, but I think I can manage,” he said quietly.

Victor nodded and lifted his hands away from Yuuri, staring intently at the younger man. Yuuri waited a moment before continuing to speak. “Sorry, but can you leave?” He realized how harsh his request sounded as the words left his mouth, and when he saw the expression on Victor’s face fall he wanted to kick himself.

“Sorry! No, I didn’t mean it that way. You don’t have to leave.” Yuuri was blushing hard. He spoke more softly, “Just can you – would you mind turning around for a second; while I undress.”

Victor face filled with a look of relief and Yuuri found himself smiling back in response. Victor leaned in and kissed Yuuri’s forehead. The kisses in his hair and on his forehead were becoming more and more frequent, and Yuuri wondered how much longer Victor would be willing to wait before pushing the boundary of his kisses further. “Of course,” Victor murmured sweetly before turning his back to Yuuri, his hands clasped behind him.

Yuuri started to ease his t-shirt up and over his body. He took a while to work his arm free of the garment, wincing quietly once during the process. At the sound of Yuuri’s painful gasp Victor’s body jerked, and for a moment Yuuri expected him to turn back towards him, but he remained facing the wall. Once he had one arm free of the t-shirt it was easy to slip the rest of the top up and over his head. He dropped the blue shirt on the tile floor and then his hands moved to the waistband of his sweats.

A nervous twinge shot through Yuuri and he stared at Victor’s back, but his soulmate made no signs of turning towards him. Yuuri quickly pushed his pants down and stepped out of the fabric. He was standing in only his boxers now and he briefly considered stepping into the bath with his underwear still on, but he knew that would be ridiculous. Victor was his soulmate, not some stranger off the street. In that moment he was greatly thankful for the thick later of bubbles floating on the surface of the water.

Yuuri scrunched his face up and quickly slid his boxers off his body. “Don’t turn around until I say so,” he cautioned Victor.

“I wont look Yuuri,” was Victor’s reply.

Yuuri stepped into the bath slowly, gripping the side of the tub tight to make sure he didn’t fall and injure himself again. The water was very hot, just shy of painful, but the heat felt nice. Yuuri wondered how Victor had known he preferred to bathe in nearly-scalding water and then he just shook his head because Victor was just like that; he somehow managed to always do everything right when it came to Yuuri.

He lowered himself into the water, sitting back against the smooth sloping sides of the tub. He felt the stiffness and left-over tension melt from his muscles almost instantly. He sank back into the bubbles until the only visible parts of his body were located above his neck.

“Okay, you can turn around now.” Yuuri said nervously.

Victor turned slowly, his bangs hanging low in his eyes as he looked down on Yuuri’s contented face. Yuuri was flushed red, but this time his skin was colored from the heat of the bath as well as his own awkwardness. Victor got down on his knees, resting his arms on the edge of the bath. They stayed this way for a few moments, and Yuuri closed his eyes as he relaxed in the warm water.

Then Victor’s hand was touching his forehead, brushing aside strands of hair that were clinging to Yuuri’s damp skin. “I’ll wash your hair for you. It’ll hurt for you to reach up yourself.”

Yuuri kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the sensation of Victor’s fingers moving through his hair. “Okay,” he said before he could stop himself.

Victor placed another kiss on the top of his head. Yuuri opened his eyes to see a smile on spread across his soulmate’s face. Then Victor whispered something softly in Russian and stood up.

“What did you just say?” Yuuri questioned, raising his eyebrows as he watched Victor reach for a small bottle of shampoo on the counter. Victor didn’t answer him; instead he gave a small smirk and a quiet laugh.

“Victor? What was it? That’s not fair.” Yuuri huffed.

“Hush,” Victor said as he returned to Yuuri’s side. “Close your eyes, I’m going to wet your hair.”

Yuuri stared at Victor’s face for a long moment but Victor didn’t only raised his eyebrows and smiled in response. With a sigh Yuuri gave in and closed his eyes; a moment later he felt a cup full of warm water being poured over his head.

Victor worked shampoo through Yuuri’s hair lazily, massaging his scalp for longer than was probably necessary. But Yuuri could hardly complain as Victor’s hot fingers touched his skin and sent bolts of electricity down his spine.

Then Victor turned the tap back on and filled the cup with clean warm water that he used to rinse away the shampoo.

“Do you usually use conditioner?” Victor questioned.

“Ah, yeah.” Yuuri said with a blush. He wasn’t sure why admitting this embarrassed him, but Victor didn’t seem to be surprised by the information as he reached for the small bottle of conditioner.

Yuuri heard Victor hum softly and then his soulmate said, “Your hair is always so soft.”

Yuuri looked down at the water of the bath, the layer of bubbles was begging to dissipate now that he had been sitting for a while and splashing water around.

“So is yours,” Yuuri said quietly.

“I’ve always made sure to take excellent care of my hair,” Victor said with an amused tone in his voice.

This information didn’t surprise Yuuri. He laughed and relaxed at the sensation of Victor running the conditioner through his hair.

“I liked your long hair.” Yuuri admitted.

“I liked it too,” Victor responded. “At the time. Eventually it grew to be a bit bothersome. This length is much easier to maintain.”

Yuuri smiled, “I like your short hair too you know.”

“Thank you Yuuri.” Victor moved his hands from Yuuri’s hair down to his cheeks; they were slick with conditioner and hot against his face. Yuuri raised one hand to touch the back of Victor’s wrist and opened his eyes to look at his soulmate’s face.

Victor’s eyes were warm and soft as they looked down on him; his face held a light pink rosiness. He trailed the tips of his fingers lightly over the younger man’s cheekbones and down to his bottom lip. Yuuri soaked in the sensation of heat seeping from Victor’s fingers through the thin sensitive skin.

The bath water was beginning to cool, but he felt content and warm as long as Victor continued to touch him. A deep voice spoke then, filled with more seduction than Yuuri had heard before. “Can I kiss you?” It asked.

Yuuri swallowed, taking in the sight of the man looming just above him. He gave a slight nod and then choked out a whispered “Yes,” against the fingertip Victor still held against his lips.

The heat against his lips was drawn away as Victor moved his hand to cradle the back of Yuuri’s neck, but then the sensation was replaced in another moment when Victor’s lips met his own. The kiss was soft and slow; a whisper of burning heat. It lasted only a few moments before Victor drew back with a smile.

“You’re so beautiful Yuuri.”

The momentary kiss had been enough to propel Yuuri’s heart into an erratic rhythm. He choked on his words and sunk deeper into the bath water. “Victor – ” was all he managed to say.

And then Victor was kissing him again, a little harder this time, and the sensation was simultaneously excruciating and intoxicating. He felt fingers running through his hair and he kissed back, reaching up to wrap his arms around Victor’s neck. He shifted his body in the bath and water sloshed over the edge, sopping the front of Victor’s body with soapy water. They kissed until the heat of their skin faded from a blistering sear to a softer pulsing warmth.

When they pulled away from each other they were both panting, wide-eyed and flushed with arousal. Yuuri watched as Victor struggled to regain his usual composure and confidence. Then the older man shot him a sly smirk, “It looks like the bubbles are all gone.”

Yuuri glanced down in dread and noted that Victor was indeed correct when he could see the rest of his body below the surface of the bath water.

Yuuri reacted on pure instinct, splashing water towards his soulmate with both hands.

“Victor!” He exclaimed, “Out!”

Victor jumped back at Yuuri’s sudden outburst, a surprised look on his face, and then he burst into laughter. Water was dripping from his hair and trailing down his face. His shirt and pants were soaked through at this point and Yuuri couldn’t help but blush deeply at the sight of fabric clinging tightly to his soulmate’s body.

“I’m sorry Yuuri, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Victor was still laughing.

“It’s embarrassing.” Yuuri whined.

“I’ll wait in the other room.” Victor stood and left Yuuri alone in the bathroom. He let the tub drain and switched on the shower to rinse away the conditioner and residual soap from his body. When he was clean, dried, and dressed he reentered the main area of his hotel room to find Victor had changed out of his wet clothes and was wearing a sleek dark grey cardigan with navy trousers.

“Do you think you’re still up for a bit of walking? I thought we could go out for lunch.” Victor asked.

“That sounds great.” Yuuri made his way to his suitcase to select an outfit for the day. He didn’t own any clothes as polished or fashionable as Victor’s wardrobe, but he wanted to look nice. He selected a forest green sweater and dark jeans. He would wear his dark pea coat and brown leather shoes when they went out. He changed in the bathroom to escape the burn of Victor’s trailing gaze.

 

* * *

 

Victor sipped a thick soup from his spoon and watched Yuuri eat his own meal hungrily in front of him. He noted the particular habits of his soulmate as he moved through the world – the way he held his silverware, how he smiled and nodded at passing strangers, how he expelled sudden puffs of air upwards to blow away stray locks of hair from his forehead.

He wanted to keep watching Yuuri like this forever; to learn all of the little quirks and habits of his soulmate until they became familiar and comfortable sights.

“Yuuri, when are you going home?” Victor didn’t want to interrupt the relaxed atmosphere of the afternoon, but he needed to quell some of his own anxieties.

Unsurprisingly Yuuri looked to be stressed by the question. “Ah, I think Celestino booked the flights for tomorrow afternoon.”

Victor simply nodded. “That works for me. I’ll make sure to arrange for our seats to be next to each other.”

“What do you mean?” Yuuri questioned.

Victor smiled at the look of confusion on Yuuri’s face. “I’m coming with you of course. You didn’t think I would let you leave without me did you?”

Yuuri’s look of puzzlement didn’t fade. “I ah – no. I didn’t expect – What do you mean? You can’t just leave Russia now. I’m sure you have a lot to take care of before – ”

Victor cut Yuuri off, “It’s no problem. I’ve already taken care of the most important matters. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

“Victor – I… okay. But do you have somewhere to stay already? Actually, I’m sure my family could set you up with a room if you need one.”

“That’s okay. I’m happy staying in a hotel until I can find a suitable apartment. Although I do look forward to seeing your family’s Onsen of course – it sounds so lovely.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to stay in a hotel! We’ll put you up in a room for as long as you need. I’ll let me mother know today.” Yuuri waved his hands frenziedly.

“As long as you’re sure it wont be a burden. I don’t want to intrude.”

“Victor, you wouldn’t be intruding. It’s you after all.”

“What does that mean?” Victor asked.

“Well, your name isn’t exactly unknown in my household. And with you being my soulmate of course, I’m sure my family will be delighted to have you over.”

Victor smiled and reached for Yuuri’s hand. “And I’ll be delighted to meet them all. Speaking of, your family knows about our relationship?”

Yuuri’s blushed and nodded. “Well it wouldn’t have been hard to guess, but yes, I talked to my mother quickly last night. She seemed happy.”

“I’m so glad. Your mother sounds wonderful.” Victor kissed the back of Yuuri’s hand. “I can’t wait to consider myself part of such a wonderful assemblage as the Katsuki family.”

Yuuri looked a bit overwhelmed. “What do you mean?”

“Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed lightheartedly, “It shouldn’t surprise you to know I would want to marry into the family of my soulmate. There’s nothing else in the world I want more than that.”

Yuuri seemed unable to speak in that moment. He stared back at Victor with wide eyes and a red face.

Victor continued to speak, “You wouldn’t deny me that privilege would you?”

Yuuri stuttered, “N-no, Victor. I wouldn’t – I mean, of course. Yes, I want that too.” He added as an afterthought, “Eventually.”

Victor enjoyed how his presence and his words could fluster Yuuri and draw out embarrassed confessions of love and honesty. Yuuri was always honest with Victor, even when it was apparent that the acts of honesty were difficult for the younger man to utter aloud. Victor was very thankful for Yuuri’s decision to not hide his true feelings and desires from his soulmate. He was confident in the trust they had for each other.

“I hope you know that once I find an apartment you are more than welcome to move in with me. I’ll make sure it’s nearby your family’s place as well.”

“That’s too much Victor, I can’t impose myself on you like that.”

Victor laughed, “What do you mean impose? That’s impossible Yuuri. I want you by my side as much as possible. As long as you’re comfortable of course, I want live with you. I want to spend every day with you.”

Yuuri buried his face in his hands. Victor thought he might have seen the slightest hint of a concealed smile.

“Only when you’re ready.” Victor continued, “So think about it okay?”

Yuuri lowered his hands and let his smile shine through, “Okay, I’ll let you know Victor.”

They finished their lunch together in happy silence. The couple spent the remainder of the afternoon resting together in the hotel.

 

 

“Are you sure you’re alright to go? We can leave early if it gets to be too much.” Victor offered.

“I’ll be fine Victor, it’s just going to be a lot of standing and talking after all. I’ll manage.” Yuuri replied with a smile. He slipped his black suit jacket on over his shoulders and fastened the center button. “Does this look alright?”

Victor placed a finger over his lips and took a half-step back to examine his soulmate. Yuuri’s hair was slicked back; his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose and a faint blush dusting his cheeks. He wore a black suit jacket and trouser over a white dress shirt. The material of the suit skimmed over his frame appealingly; Victor wanted to touch him.

“You look good, stunning.” Victor said with a smile, “but may I make one small request?”

Yuuri looked back at Victor questioningly, smoothing the palms of his hands over the front of his jacket, “Okay?”

“Your tie. Please swap it out with one of mine.”

Yuuri’s hand flitted up to the pale powder blue tie that was synched around his neck. “Why? What’s wrong with this tie?”

Victor was unsure of the best way to phrase his words so he spoke carefully, “Well there’s really nothing wrong with it. It’s just that I think something a bit more… sophisticated would really bring your outfit together.”

Yuuri looked mildly hurt, “But I like this tie Victor,” he said quietly.

Victor stared back with pleading eyes. He knew he was being pedantic asking to swap the tie, but he couldn’t manage to stop himself. Yuuri looking so good in his formal dress and the tie was a glaring obstruction to the overall grace of the outfit. He wasn’t sure what the reason was for Yuuri’s attachment to the tie, but he was confident in his ability to appease Yuuri and correct the fashion mishap.

“It’s an absolutely lovely shade of blue Yuuri.” This was a lie. “But it contrasts so brightly with the rest of your demure outfit and I think it distracts from your beauty a bit. Also, the shade clashes with the color of your glasses frames.” Victor gave this information forward with a sweet smile on his lips.

Yuuri frowned and toyed with the end of the tie. “I’ll go without my glasses then – so they don’t clash.”

Victor sighed and watched as Yuuri removed his glasses and set them on the side table. “But then you wont be able to see. I think the solution here would be to remove the tie and not the medically necessary item.”

Yuuri shrugged, “It’s fine, I can still see close up. You’ll just have to help me with faces of people who are standing at a distance.”

Victor opened his mouth to argue, but then he saw Yuuri staring back, dressed in all black with his hair slicked back and squinting a bit to make vision easier without his glasses. He looked like he was about to take the ice for a performance and Victor couldn’t allow his eyes to drift away from his soulmate for even a moment.

“Yuuri you look so good.” And then Victor was walking forward the few steps required to close the distance between them. He snaked his fingers into Yuuri’s hair and ghosted a kiss on Yuuri’s temple.

“You’re going to mess up my hair.” Yuuri complained.

“I’ll fix it for you again. I just need to do this.” Victor pressed his lips for firmly to Yuuri’s temple and then trailed slow kisses down the edge of the younger man’s jaw. “Can I kiss you now, please?”

He could hear Yuuri’s breath hitch slightly at the question, but the surprise was followed shortly by a confident response, “Yes.”

Victor kissed him sweetly, the contact burning through their skin. He swept his fingers through Yuuri’s hair and lost himself in the feel of his soulmate on his lips and beneath his hands. They melded into each other, their kiss deepening and hands moving rapturously as they fought for more contact and less distance between each other. Their bodies ran hot and air itself seemed to grow more viscous with heat.  

When they pulled away from each other they were both breathing hard. Yuuri’ hair was a disheveled mess and his lips tinted red from kissing. Victor ran his eyes over the visage of his soulmate – memorizing the details before his eyes.

“Yuuri, take that tie off right now or so help me god.” But Victor’s fingers were already at the knot of the tie, working it undone. With a sweeping slip of fabric on fabric the tie came loose and was pulled free from the collar of Yuuri’s shirt. The younger man yelped something quietly and reached to grab the tie from Victor’s grasp.

“I’m sorry to be obstinate Yuuri, but will you please tell me why you like this tie so much because I’m at a total loss.”

Yuuri snatched the tie back and held it behind his back – out of Victor’s reach. He was blushing, looking down at the floor. “It’s stupid.” He said meekly.

“My curiosity is unrelenting, trust me when I say I’ll be satisfied by any truthful answer you can give me.”

Yuuri bit his lip, “I don’t understand why you hate it so much. It’s the only tie I have and I’ve worn in plenty of times before. You’re the first person to ever say they didn’t like it.”

Victor gave him a small smile, “I’m sorry Yuuri, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” He gazed at his soulmate. He felt a little guilt creep up from beneath his collar. “You can wear the tie if you really want.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, “Yeah right, after this ordeal I’m never going to be able to wear it again without feeling self-conscious.”

Victor uttered under his breath, he wasn’t sure if Yuuri even heard him, “Good.”

Yuuri was looking at the floor again, “I like it because – well it’s the same color as your eyes. I think it looks pretty and that’s why I bought it a long time ago, okay.” He was blushing furiously and Victor thought he looked a bit irritated as well. “And this is really embarrassing to tell you so you better not laugh!” Yuuri added.

Victor didn’t know what to do with himself. He certainly hadn’t expected an answer like that and now he was filled with conflicting emotions of adoration and embarrassment. “I, Yuuri – no I’m sorry. That’s so sweet.” He reached forward to wrap his arms around the black-haired man. Victor held Yuuri tight and kissed the top of his head. “You’re so adorable. What did I do to deserve you.”

Yuuri hugged him back, nuzzling again his chest. “I’ll wear one of your stupid ties if you want.”

Victor smiled and held his lips against Yuuri’s hair. “Perfect, you’re going to stun everyone in the room.”

“You really are shameless.” Yuuri said into the fabric of Victor’s chest.

Victor kissed the shell of Yuuri’s ear. “You’re irresistible.”

Yuuri hummed in contentment. “Now fix my hair so we can get this banquet over with.”

“Anything for my beautiful medal-winning skater.” Victor left Yuuri momentarily to retrieve a comb from the bathroom.

“It’s just a bronze Victor, and I wouldn’t even have won it if it weren’t for what you did.”

Victor returned to his side and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. “It was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

Yuuri smiled and response and looked up at Victor. His eyes were large and warm, Victor didn’t want to look away. “You know, that actually doesn’t surprise me.” Yuuri said.

“I guess I’ll have to work harder to surprise you then.” Victor laughed, “I can’t let love muddle my unpredictable nature. You deserve more than a banal and average partner.”

Yuuri was smiling at him, “You’re already so much more than I deserve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say that I'm so overjoyed by the positive responses I've gotten from this fic. Thank you all so much! Even 2+ weeks out from the last update I still woke up every morning to notifications of new kudos being left. The comments, bookmarks, and hits just keep growing and it's just so nice to have support from readers.
> 
> I know this fic isn't perfect in any way but it has been a great way for me to break into fanfic writing for the first time in so many years. This fic has taught me a lot about writing fanfic and I'm inspired to write new and better stories in the future. I feel like slowly my training wheels are coming off and I'm gaining more confidence in my own ability to craft stories. So anyway, thanks for much for sticking with me and reading/commenting/kudoing/bookmarking/etc. 
> 
> For now, know this story is not finished yet. I'm going to work hard to keep the updates coming despite returning to school! I'm not the type of person to not finish something I've started either, so rest assured that this fic will not be abandoned.


	7. Static

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the conclusion of Yuu Vs Vic battle over the ugly tie, Yuuri and Victor attend the banquet. Alcohol is consumed, stuff goes down, and there's some angst. After surviving an unintentional four-month-long hiatus please join the author and tune in for episode 7 of "Everything on Fire."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hello I didn't update for nearly four months because I am trash and garbage and I am so sorry for leaving this hanging
> 
> A huge giant mega thanks to author and cool person LGFUADJJ here on ao3 for helping me so much with this chapter and just generally giving me the motivation I needed to start working on this fic again. A lot of the plot from here on out came directly from her genius brain and I think this story is going to improve in quality a lot thanks to her help.
> 
>  
> 
> ***This chapter contains description of an anxiety attack (or at least my perspective of how I personally have experienced anxiety attacks in the past). Please proceed with caution if you think you may be sensitive to this type of stuff***

They entered the banquet hall together, arms linked. The room was expansive and lit up with a gentle golden warmth. The walls were draped in ivory hangings and strung with glimmering lights. Already there was a sizeable gathering of people standing and chatting together in formal dress; Yuuri tightened his hold on Victor’s arm.

He was nervous—about the prospect of talking to potential sponsors and skating officials, about the reactions people might have to the news that Victor was his soulmate, and about the judgment others might hold against Victor for disqualifying himself from the competition. His palms felt clammy and the collar of his shirt was too tight around his neck. For once, the sweltering heat of Victor’s body at his side proved to be more uncomfortable than consoling, but Yuuri was not willing to release his grasp on Victor anytime soon. He wiped at the small beads of perspiration forming at his brow and hoped no one would think he looked unsightly.

Victor’s presence at his side drew him into the center of the room with ease. The older man appeared calm and dignified as they weaved through the crowd; a stark contrast to the anxious soulmate at his side.

“We can sit for a bit.” Victor offered, “It looks like they’re still serving hors d’oeuvres at the tables.”

Yuuri nodded; glad to have an excuse to retreat back from the crowds a bit. Victor led him to a nearby table where no one else was currently sitting and pulled out a chair for Yuuri. Several moments later a waiter was at their table with a slim single-sided menu for them to pick from. Yuuri selected a salmon dish and Victor simply requested a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

As they waited Yuuri watched Victor glance around the room, surveying the crowd for familiar faces. He turned back with a smile,

“How are you feeling? Is your side hurting?”

“No it’s much better now, it just feels like a bruise.” Yuuri reassured, “You don’t have to sit here with me if you would rather socialize.”

Victor shook his head, “There’s nowhere else I would rather be than here with you.”

Yuuri blushed and sipped water from a glass.

Victor leaned over to kiss Yuuri’s cheek.

“Victor, you shouldn’t do that here.” Yuuri whispered.

Victor just laughed and brushed his bangs back from his eyes, “You’re adorable,” he added.

Movement in the crowd seemed to catch Victor’s eye, and he stood from his seat and called, “Christophe!”

Yuuri looked up to see the blond skater turn in their direction and then lift his hand up in greeting.

“Come sit with us!” Victor requested.

Chris joined the couple at their table with a smile. “The men of the hour!” he declared with a smirk. Yuuri sat back in his chair and looked at his hands.

“I was hoping we would get a chance to see you before we left,” Victor said.

“Oh? Do you miss me that much Victor?” Chris teased, “I have to say I am a little disappointed in you for taking yourself out of the competition like that.”

Victor flicked his head to the side in order to sweep the hair back from his face, “I think it’ll be good for you to learn to survive on the ice without me.”

“What do you mean by that? You’ll be at Worlds wont you?” Chris asked.

Victor turned to face Yuuri who was now feeling a bit queasy in response to the current conversation. He knew other skaters and skating fanatics were going to be upset by the news of Victor’s retirement, and Yuuri was sure they would blame his sudden appearance for the loss of the greatest skater of their time.

“You’ll see us at Worlds,” Victor said to Chris as he took Yuuri’s hand, “But—I wont be competing.”

Chris scrunched his eyebrows, “What do you mean? You can’t be retiring Victor.” Yuuri could detect a bit of annoyance in his voice.

“I am.” Victor said with confidence, “I’ll be making the announcement later tonight.”

“What!” Chris said in an accusatory tone, “Why didn’t you bring this up at the press conference? You brushed everything off; deflected all of the questions the press threw at your about your disqualification and your relationship with Yuuri.”

“That wasn’t important, the press is just hungry for new gossip and scandals. It drives me insane, they should have been asking questions about the skating, not my personal life.” Victor turned to Yuuri, “They hardly even acknowledged the actual medalists, because they were so wrapped up in questions about my intentions.”

Yuuri glanced between Victor and Chris, not knowing what he could add to the conversation. “I’m sorry,” he offered in Chris direction.

Chris looked confused. “Why should you be sorry? It’s not your fault your soulmate can be senseless.”

Victor smiled, “He doesn’t mean that,” he said to Yuuri.

“Like hell! I absolutely mean that.” Chris retorted, “How am I supposed to stay motivated when you’re not going to be around for me to beat?”

Victor wrapped an arm around Yuuri, “First of all, you’ve never stood a chance of beating me. And secondly, I guess you’ll have to turn your attention towards beating Yuuri. Together we’re going to sweep every major competition that comes our way.”

Chris seemed to contemplate for a moment, “We’ll see about that,” he said, but a slow smile crept onto his face as he looked Yuuri over, “I hope you’re ready to feel the wrath of an entire skating world that views you as the man who stole the great Victor Nikiforov away from the rest of us.”

Yuuri swallowed hard and turned his gaze away from Chris. The other man had hit the nail on the head when it came to Yuuri’s greatest anxiety.

“That’s enough Chris,” Victor interjected. He spoke to Yuuri now, “Don’t listen to any of the negativity. No one should blame you for my actions, that's completely ridiculous.”

“But they _will_ Victor,” Chris added. He spoke to Yuuri, “I’m sorry Yuuri, I’m not trying to upset you really—I’m actually a nice guy,” he said this with a smile. “But I’m being realistic here. You two wont be able to escape your problems simply by pretending they don’t exist.”

Victor sighed, “Chris, you’re one of the best friends I have ever had—”

Chris interrupted, “One of the?” He questioned, “Don’t kid yourself. I’m the best of the best.” He added with a laugh.

“Okay, you’ve been my best friend for a long time, and I trust your opinions on most things, but I think you’re wrong this time.” Victor crossed his arms on the table and glanced between Chris and Yuuri.

Yuuri spoke up, “Victor, maybe Chris really is right about this. I don’t know if I can handle being hated by so many people—”

Chris interrupted with a wave of his hand, “The poor boy, he looks absolutely terrified Victor." Chris stood from his seat, "Yuuri, I’m going to get you a well-deserved drink.”

Chris made his way towards a server carrying a tray of champagne before Yuuri could protest. He returned moments later balancing three tall glasses delicately in his hands.

Chris set down the glasses and smiled, “Tonight we drink to celebrate Yuuri’s medal and pretend like Victor didn’t just drop this depressing retirement bomb.”

Yuuri blushed and added, “We should be celebrating your silver Chris.”

Chris’ eyes lit up and he winked in Yuuri’s direction, “Such a sweet boy you’ve found for yourself Victor.”

Victor raised his eyebrows in response, “Eyes and hands to yourself Giacometti.”

“I would never dream of doing such a thing!” Chris said with a hand on his hip.

 

* * *

 

Two hours later Victor sat fuming at a table as he watched a less-than-sober Yuuri fumbling around on the dance floor with an equally intoxicated Christophe. Earlier Yuuri had been dancing with Victor, but had taken a break to cool down with a few additional glasses of champagne. Then next thing Victor was cognizant of was the sight of Chris dragging Victor’s blushing and giggling soulmate into the center of the room to dance. Yuuri’s suit jacket had been discarded long ago and the first four or five buttons on his shirt were undone. The tie Yuuri had worn, a dark navy silk tie belonging to Victor, was loosened and hanging limply around the younger man’s neck. Chris’ shirt was completely unbuttoned at this point.

Victor trusted Chris with Yuuri, but still the sight of his soulmate so close to his best friend caused a pang of jealously to rise in his chest. He watched as Chris threw his shirt off completely and then grabbed Yuuri’s tie to drag him forward. The sight of Yuuri obeying Chris' demands as they danced and laughed pushed Victor to the breaking point and he rose from his chair.

A moment later Victor was at Yuuri’s side, sliding his own body in between his soulmate and Chris. He took Yuuri’s arms and guided them around his own waist before adding, “I think I’ll take it from here.”

Chris whined, “No fair Victor, we were having so much fun!” The blonde man twirled on the floor as he spoke. “Soon you’ll have Yuuri all to yourself, can’t I have him for a little bit?”

Victor laughed, “You had your turn." He looked at Yuuri's reddened face, "Wouldn’t you rather be dancing with me Yuuri?”

Yuuri gazed up at Victor with wide eyes and giggled, “Viiiictorrrrr! Your body is too hot!”

Before Victor could fully understand what was happening Yuuri took his arms from around his body and began clawing at the buttons on his own shirt.

“It’s too hot Victor. They’re stuuuuuck, will you help?”

Victor gently pushed Yuuri’s hands away from his buttons, “I’m not sure this is a good place for you to undress Yuuri.”

Yuuri seemed to either not hear Victor’s suggestion or not care because he continued to try to work his shirt open.

“Too hot,” he whined and settled on simply pulling his white shirt up and over his head in a single movement.

Victor stared at his soulmate, now naked from the waist up. Yuuri pumped a fist in the air in an apparent move of triumph and Chris laughed hysterically from somewhere behind Victor.

“Chris!” Yuuri shouted, “guess what?”

Chris danced to the beat of the music, stretching an arm out towards Yuuri, “What is it darling?”

“Victor and me are getting married!” Yuuri shouted and clapped his hands together.

The sight of Chris and Yuuri dancing shirtless together had already begun to garner the attention of much of the crowd, but Yuuri’s sudden exclamation silenced the room completely and Victor noted nearly every person in the ballroom was now staring directly at their little trio.

Victor felt an impact from behind him and Chris’ arms would their way around his shoulders. The Swiss man hugged him tightly and swayed from side to side.

“Congratulations best friend!” Chris yelled, “I can’t believe you’re getting married!”

Phone cameras all around them were clicking with the sounds of photos and videos being taken. Victor felt uncomfortable under the stares of an audience for perhaps the first time in his life. He glanced at Yuuri who was still obliviously dancing and smiling. There would be no hiding the truth now, and Victor decided to seize the moment for his own use.

“Yuuri, love, could you come here?”

Yuuri skipped towards Victor. The younger man’s tie had been pulled up onto his forehead like a headband and the loose ends swayed as Yuuri made his way over to Victor. The older man smiled and placed one hand on the top of Yuuri’s head, sneakily removing the tie and slipping it into his pocket. He then shrugged off his suit jacket and slipped it over Yuuri’s shoulders to cover his bare torso. Yuuri buried his face in the fabric against Victor’s chest. Victor held his soulmate tightly against him and cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, could I have everyone’s attention?” he called loudly. Immediately the music in the room lowered in volume and he had the captured the gaze of every guest in the room.

“I would like to take this opportunity to address some of the rumors going around and make an announcement.”

There was quiet chatter in the crowd and more people pulled out their phones to take videos as Victor spoke.

“There have been several reports questioning the nature of the relationship between Yuuri Katsuki and myself. This evening I am happy to announce Yuuri and I have discovered we are indeed soulmates.”

The chatter in the room grew suddenly louder.

“Additionally, Yuuri and I plan on continuing our relationship together in Japan in the immediate future where we hope to eventually get married. I will also be taking on the role of Yuuri’s coach.”

This announcement elicited a few gasps from the crowd. Victor could feel Yuuri squirming in his arms but he kept his embrace secure.

“Incidentally, I would also like to take this moment to announce my official retirement from professional figure skating.”

Victor’s final statement created a vortex of noise and activity in the room. Some people shouted, many cameras flashed and people began pushing forward with questions. Victor shook his head backed away, pulling Yuuri along with him. He scooped the younger man into his arms and turned towards the door.

“I’m sorry everyone, that’s all the information I have for you right now. I’ll answer more questions in a future press conference.”

Chris slipped his shirt back over his shoulders and followed after Victor as they exited the ballroom.

“Victor, are you insane.” Chris stumbled a bit as he tried to keep up with Victor’s quick pace through the hotel lobby and hallways.

“I already told you I was going to make this announcement. This was as good of a time as any. Plus you were publically congratulating us on our engagement, how could I not say something?”

Yuuri groaned unintelligible words against Victor’s chest.

“I’m sorry for telling everyone like that without talking to you first Yuuri. You didn’t leave me a whole lot of options though.”

Victor listened as Yuuri whined muffled words into his shirt and clutched him tightly. They reached the door to Victor’s hotel room, Chris still tagging behind and Yuuri beginning to shake as if he were crying.

“You can come in Chris. I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave you unsupervised in this state anyway.”

The door clicked open and Victor walked to the bed to set Yuuri down gently. When he tried to step back he found Yuuri was clinging to the fabric of his shirt and shaking even more dramatically than Victor had first realized.

“Yuuri, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri again, “Did I upset you?”

Yuuri shook his head slightly and it sounded to Victor like he was trying to speak again.

“I can’t understand what you’re trying to say love. Take deep breaths, everything is okay.”

Victor was sure Yuuri was crying now as he could feel tears soaking through the material of his shirt where Yuuri’s face was pressed.

Chris spoke up, “Should I call someone? His coach?”

“No, that’s okay Chris, but thank you.” Victor shifted his position on the bed so that Yuuri was sitting in his lap, and tried to tilt the younger man’s head back to see his face.

“Yuuri, I need you to talk to me okay? I just need to know how you’re feeling right now so I can try to help you.”

Yuuri began to loosen his grip, small skipping breaths escaping from his mouth and his cheeks damp with tears. The first few words Yuuri spoke were too quiet for Victor to understand.

“One more time love, a little more clearly please?”

“Do you… h-hate me, now?” Yuuri choked out, “I ruined ev—everything.”

“Oh no Yuri, why would you think that? You didn’t ruin anything and I certainly don’t hate you.”

Victor glanced up at Chris who had settled himself on the floor and was watching with a panicked expression on his face.

“Yuuri, I love you.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s temple and held him tightly against his chest.

 

 

* * *

 

_Yuuri dreamt he was surrounded by white and blue roses and Victor was kissing him. As they kissed, distant and foreign sounds seemed to grow louder and louder. Through his closed eyelids Yuuri could see flashes like camera light. The sounds morphed into yells. He pulled away from Victor in a panic as a mob of angry people closed in on them. Victor grabbed for Yuuri’s hands but someone else yanked Victor back by the shoulders. Suddenly there were angry faces in front of his vision, yelling—moving too close. Yuuri’s panic rose, he tried to turn and run but he was surrounded. He called our Victor’s name and began to cry but there was no response. Instead, he collapsed on the ground and tucked his knees tight against his chest, clamping his hands over his ears._

 

* * *

 

Victor woke in his hotel bed with Yuuri at his side. The younger man seemed to be trembling and had twisted himself in the sheets. Yuuri was crying Victor’s name quietly in his sleep and tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. Victor placed a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder and shook him gently to try and wake him.

“Yuuri, you’re having a bad dream. Wake up love.”

“Victor…,” Yuuri cried softly.

“I’m here. You’re okay, it’s just a dream.” Victor brushed Yuuri’s hair back from his face and watched as Yuuri’s eyes cracked open to peak up at him. His face was still damp with tears and his breathing was rapid. He lowered his head and kissed Yuuri’s nose.

“Everything is okay, lyubov moya.”

Yuuri’s eyes were wide—pupils still overblown with fear. Victor reached his hand forward to wipe away a stray tear and Yuuri jerked slightly in response to the movement.

“Yuuri… I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Victor froze as he watched Yuuri seemingly fall apart in front of him. The younger man dug his fingers into the sheets beneath him. His breathing was not slowing down and Victor had no idea how to react as his soulmate folded in on himself.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri felt as if a lighter was burning him every time Victor touched his skin. The world was pulsating around him—his ears filled with the whooshing of blood and his eyes hazy as if he were peering through thick smoke. Nothing felt real and the world was moving too fast to track or comprehend. He wanted to be compressed in a tight ball, sheltered from every sight and sound and movement around him. There was too much heat, searing him from the inside out. Victor reached towards him again and Yuuri felt himself flinch back instinctively to avoid the burn of the touch. He hated himself as he did it, he felt everything shatter around him and he wanted to fall away.

Victor’s form hovering over him radiated a choking heat. Shame washed over him as he scrambled to get away from Victor. He needed to escape—to remove himself from the situation.

“It’s too hot,” he managed.

Yuuri crawled to the edge of the bed and folded in on himself. He felt the waves of shame hit him again and again. He could hear Victor saying something in the distance, but it wasn’t clear enough to make out. He cursed himself for breaking down in front of Victor, for exposing a side of himself Yuuri couldn’t stand. In that moment he hated that he was Victor’s soulmate, because Victor deserved more than Yuuri could ever offer.

The images of angry faces from his dreams resurged in his mind. He listened to what the voices were yelling at him—and he agreed with what they had to say. He wasn’t good enough for Victor. He was a disappointment and a failure. He had fooled Victor and fooled the world into thinking he was better than he really was, and now he was being exposed in the worst way possible.

Victor’s voice was back again, louder now and more incessant. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut and thought the same words over and over again:

 

_Don’t look at me_

_I’m so sorry_

_Don’t look at me_

_I’m so sorry_

_Don’t look at me_

_I’m so sorry_

Victor’s touch against Yuuri’s arm felt as if a swarm of fire ants were ripping through his skin.

“Yuuri, please. Can I hold you?” Victor’s voice was desperate, “I want to help you.”

Yuuri couldn’t think, couldn’t even begin to give an answer. He just squeezed his muscles tighter and fought the urge to scratch and bite at his own skin. Victor’s touch came again and it was too much for Yuuri to handle.

“Don’t touch me right now.” Yuuri’s voice was weak as it slipped past his lips.

“Yuuri…,” Victor sounded like he had been kicked.

“Victor, I think it’s best if you leave him for a minute,” it was Chris’ voice this time. The sounds of Chris and Victor speaking swirled around Yuuri’s mind. The meanings of the words were lost on him—Yuuri thought they might have begun speaking French instead of English.

But Victor’s voice was back once more, “Yuuri, I’m going to call Celestino. You’re going to be alright.”

“No! Don’t…,” Yuuri didn’t want another person in the room. He wanted to disappear into silence and darkness. He wanted Victor to forget he had ever existed.

Yuuri felt tears pool at the corner of his eyes once again. He knew he needed to calm himself down or Victor and Chris might do something drastic like call an ambulance. He hadn’t had such an extreme panic attack in years, it was a terrifying and helpless position to be in.

He focused on breathing in the too hot air. It scratched at his lungs and throat, but he filled his chest deeply nevertheless. His body was quivering—he concentrated on relaxing his clenched muscles one by one. First release all the tension in the lower legs, then the thighs, the lower back, upper back, neck and arms. He pushed himself up so that he was kneeling on the bed. He could sense Victor standing just beside him.

“Yuuri… I want to help you. But would it be better for you if I left right now?”

His body screamed at him to say yes—the heat of Victor nearby felt suffocating. The fact that Victor was watching him fall apart in such a messy way made him want to send his soulmate away. But his heart longed to have Victor stay at his side. The part of Yuuri that belonged to Victor couldn’t bare the thought of watching him walk away and leave him alone. He had no voice, no way of explaining his conflicted emotions to Victor.

Yuuri sat in silence and tried to will himself better. How could he have let this happen? He had really ruined everything and there was nothing he could do to get it back.

“Yuuri please… you stay here in the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”

Yuuri willed himself to look up at Victor. His soulmate eyes were shining with barely contained tears and he moved in jittery nervous patterns.

“Please just stay here so I can make sure you’re safe. I promise I’ll leave you alone—I wont touch you.”

Yuuri felt like a boulder had been dropped on his stomach. The pain in Victor’s eyes was obvious. But still, Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to answer. Instead he crawled back towards the head of the bead and collapsed onto the pillows. His body felt heavy and every muscle move was painful. He couldn’t wait to close his eyes and drift out of the world for a few moments of peace.  


 

* * *

  
  
Victor stood still for several minutes and watched as Yuuri curled in on himself and slept. He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around his soulmate, but Yuuri had made it clear Victor’s touch or company wasn’t currently wanted. The reality of Yuuri’s reaction twisted at Victor. He couldn’t deny his desire to comfort his soulmate—it was in his nature to reach out towards him. At the same time he wanted to keep Yuuri comfortable, and he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Yuuri completely alone, so he contented himself with watching over the man he loved as he slept.

The panic had blindsided Victor and he still wasn’t sure what had caused Yuuri’s episode and whether or not it had been his fault. It seemed like whatever Yuuri had dreamt of before Victor woke him up had been the fuel for the panic. But Yuuri had also been visibly upset and after the events of the banquet and just before falling asleep.

Victor glanced over to Chris who still seemed content to spend the rest of the night on the hotel floor. Victor knew Chris probably felt overwhelmed by the situation, but they had been friends long enough that neither of them were likely to abandon each other in times when they knew the other person was struggling.

Chris settled himself in the makeshift bed he had constructed from spare pillows and blankets and offered a small smile in the Victor’s direction. Victor forced a hollow smile in return and turned to the small hotel couch where he would spend the rest of the night.

He felt simultaneously exhausted and fully awake. The arm of the couch was hard and the upholstery rough against his face and neck as he tried to settle into sleep. As he laid in the dark the images of Yuuri running away from him refused to leave his mind. The words Yuuri had spoken swarmed in his ears: _don’t touch me—don’t touch me—don’t touch me—_

 

 

Victor still hadn’t slept when the sun began to creep above the horizon. He was lying hunched on the small couch, thoughts running through his mind in rapid succession. Yuuri and Chris were still asleep; he concentrated on the even breathing of the two other men in the room. Yuuri slept only a few feet away but still Victor felt a chill in his body in response to the distance between them.

The sun rose higher in the sky and the rhythm of restful breathing in the room begun to lull Victor. He had made it through one of the worst nights of his life—a new day would bring a fresh start. He closed his eyes and finally drifted to sleep.

 

 

_Bang!_

“Ah! Ow!”

“Shit! Are you okay?”

Victor woke suddenly. His mind was whirling and thick with sleep as he struggled to find the source of the commotion. He turned over in his spot on the couch to find Chris clutching his nose as Yuuri kneeled on the floor in front of him.

“I’m so sorry,” Yuuri said. “Are you bleeding?”

Chris removed his hand from his nose, “No blood, it’s okay.”

“I can’t believe I kicked you in the face.” Yuuri was running his fingers through his hair.

“I can’t believe you kicked me in the face either,” Chris said and laughed.

Victor felt a shock of nervous as he watched Yuuri and Chris interact in front of him. Yuuri seemed to be acting normal, but he hadn’t noticed Victor was awake yet.

“What happened?” Victor asked in a tentative voice.

Yuuri whipped his head around to look at Victor—his cheeks flushing red. He was chewing on his thumbnail now.

“I got up to use the bathroom, and I didn’t realize Chris was on the floor. So I ended up kicking him in the face on accident,” Yuuri scratched at his eyebrow.

Chris waved a hand and sat up straight on the floor, “It just scared me, I’m totally fine! No big deal.”

Victor wracked his brain for something to say. He wanted Yuuri to take the lead, show him what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. Instead, Yuuri rose from his spot silently and continued into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Chris stared at Victor for a moment and shrugged his shoulders.

“He seems better,” Chris offered, speaking rather quietly and in French.

Victor nodded his head and swung his legs off the edge of the couch so he was sitting upright. His heart was beating fast. He didn’t know what to do, or how to make things right between them again. He didn’t know if Yuuri was angry with him, and if he was, what he was angry about.

Victor sat and listened to the sounds of Yuuri getting ready in the bathroom. The toilet flushed, the sink tap was turned on and off again. Finally the faucet in the tub was opened and there was the sound of the water being redirected to the shower head.

Chris stood and began collecting up the bedding he had used the night before.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on me last night,” he said.

Victor chuckled quietly, “Thank you for sticking around for my sake.”

Chis tossed his pillow in Victor’s direction, “You and Yuuri are going to be fine. I would have been a pretty shitty friend if I had just left you here in the middle of everything.”

“Yeah,” Victor nodded in agreement.

“I’ll text you later to see how things are,” Chris set his now folded blanket on the edge of the bed and walked towards the door.

“Thanks, talk to you in a bit,” Victor sighed as his friend exited the hotel room.

Once the door had shut behind Chris, Victor felt a renewed wave of nervousness. A part of him felt like he should leave the hotel room while Yuuri was showering to fetch breakfast and give his soulmate some time alone. The other part of him couldn’t bare the thought of leaving Yuuri before they had a chance to speak one-on-one and come to some type of resolution.

Victor busied himself by remaking the bed and organizing the few items he had scattered around the room. He listened as the sound of water flowing from the shower ceased and sat down on the bed to wait for Yuuri to emerge from the bathroom. His knee bounced uncontrollably and he was biting at his bottom lip. All he could think about was how he wanted to hold Yuuri in his arms again as soon as possible.

The door to the bathroom cracked open and Yuuri’s face peaked out. His hair was separated into defined strands and beads of water dripped down. He was wearing no shirt and had a towel wrapped around his waist. Victor realized Yuuri had slept in only his boxers the night before and since they had stayed in Victor’s hotel room the only clothes Yuuri had available to change into included the slacks and dress shirt from the banquet the night before.

Victor decided to speak first, “Yuuri… I—I can lend you a t-shirt and some sweats?”

Yuuri smiled hesitantly, “Thanks.”

The door swung open a bit wider, “Victor—I think we need to talk.”

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliff-hanger-esk ending here... I'll work hard to make sure the next chapter is out in a reasonable amount of time (NOT four months from now). 
> 
> Also, you may have noticed the fic now has a finite number of chapters planned. This number is flexible and could change, but it should be pretty close no matter what. 
> 
> As always thank you everyone for reading, kuudo-ing, bookmarking, and commenting. You all are so sweet and I love you.


	8. Ignite

Victor sat on the bed’s edge beside Yuuri, who had changed into a borrowed t-shirt and sweats belonging to Victor. They were silent for several moments and the air buzzed with heat and static. Yuuri shifted in place so that he was facing Victor and let out a small sigh, “Victor, I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to come to Japan with me right now.”

Victor felt his stomach drop. He stared unblinking at the carpeted floor of the hotel room in an attempt to stave off tears.

“Why would you think that?” he managed to ask.

“You should stay… and continue living your life, at least for now,” Yuuri answered. “I don’t want to be the one to take you away from this world.”

Victor felt tightness in his throat and he wasn’t sure if he was about to dissolve into sobs or start yelling at Yuuri.

“What world Yuuri?” Victor turned to look his soulmate in the face. The sight of Yuuri’s eyes, dull and shallow, triggered the release of the first tears.

Victor continued, “This whole time I’ve been waiting for you. I can’t just continue on like before, now that I have you here.”

Yuuri ran his fingers through his own hair, “Please don’t cry….”

Victor reached forward to grab one of Yuuri’s wrists—the burn of skin contact was grounding. Yuuri didn’t flinch away; they studied each other’s faces a few more moments.

“I’m not letting you leave me behind,” Victor almost whispered. “I don’t care what the press say, I don’t care if it means the end of my career. I’m just tired Yuuri, I don’t want those things anymore.”

Yuuri stared Victor dead in the face, “You can do whatever you want Victor.”

The younger man used his free hand to gently remove Victor’s fingers from his wrist. He stood from his place on the bed and walked towards the door.

“You are my soulmate. We both know this, and that means no matter what we’ll always be connected to each other. But you hardly even know me—you didn’t even recognize me when we first met. I think you’re making a mistake.”

Victor had no words to reply with as he watched Yuuri open the door and exit the room. Those final sentences landed in Victor’s ears and stung as they settled.

He stayed in place on the bed and considered everything that had just happened. The room suddenly felt too quiet. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and noted it was already 9:17am, which meant their flight to Japan was scheduled to leave in less than seven hours. At this point Victor wasn’t sure whether he would be getting on the flight at all.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri walked through the hotel hallway with tears slipping down his face. He needed to get to his room and pack his things, maybe call Phichit if he could muster up the courage. He had hardly spoken to his best friend since arriving in Sochi. He felt guilty for being evasive and secretive during such an important time in his life, but he also knew that news of his relationship with Victor had spread fast and Phichit was probably itching to bombard him with questions about the situation. The last thing Yuuri wanted to do in that moment was think about Victor.

He knew he didn’t want to talk about Victor, but he also knew when it came to his fears and anxiety the most important discussions were seldom discussions he actually wanted to have. Yuuri reached the door to his hotel room and fumbled through his small amount of personal belongings before he found his key and phone and slipped inside.

The room had been visited by housekeeping while he was away and looked untouched and empty. Yuuri listened as the door click closed behind him. He walked over to the little desk in the corner and sat down the on black swivel chair. He held his phone in his palm and thumbed at the screen. He needed to call Phichit—he needed someone else to help him navigate the mess he had made for himself.

He hit #1 on his speed dial and waited for his friend to pick up.

“Yuuri, Finally! What took you so long to call?”

“Phichit…” Yuuri muttered.

It only took a moment for his friend to key in on the disturbance in his voice, “What’s wrong? Something’s definitely wrong. Spill it.”

Yuuri shifted in his seat, his mouth opening and closing as if he was about to speak, but no words came out.

“It’s something with Victor isn’t it? What did he do to you? I swear to god I’ll—”

“N-no.” Yuuri interrupted, “he didn’t do anything. It was me… I just—I messed up. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I _should_ be doing.”

“Calm down Yuuri. Just start from the beginning?” Phichit offered. Yuuri thought calling Phichit was maybe a mistake. He didn’t know where to start or even what the main issue actually was. All he knew was he was scared—of losing Victor, of losing the trust and respect of his supporters around the world, of making the wrong decision.

“I did some really dumb things Phichit….”

Yuuri’s heart was pounding now, and he could feel a light film of perspiration building up on his skin. He didn’t want to cry. He tried to take deep breaths but his lungs shuddered against the effort.

“Yuuri, calm down… I can hear you breathing through the phone. Everything is going to be fine. I’m sure we can get this all figured out before it’s time for you to go home.”

“No, Phichit! It’s not going to be that easy.” Yuuri took a few deep breaths, “I’m such an idiot.”

Yuuri was hardly keeping his panic contained. Phichit hummed low into the other end of the phone line.

“We both know you’re not an idiot. Can you explain to me what happened? Let’s work through all of this one step at a time.”

“I don’t… I don’t really know what happened. I just panicked.”

“So you were talking to Victor?”

“I was… well last night at the banquet,” Yuuri gripped a fistful of hair, “and then in the hotel room I freaked out.”

“Wait, slow down. What happened at the banquet?”

“I was drinking too much.”

Yuuri knew Phichit would have a better understanding of the situation better than anyone else. They had spent years together in university and Phichit had seen all the different sides of his friend—good and bad, sober and wasted.

“Oh Yuuri....”

“I know, it was stupid, and I don’t know what I was thinking. But I said some dumb things in front of everyone that really put Victor in an awkward position. And then he was forced to announce his retirement. And it’s all my fault.”

“His retirement’s been all over skating news. But Yuuri, I doubt he made the announcement just because of something you did. That’s not a decision someone like Victor would take lightly, you know? He had to have put a lot of thought into it beforehand.”

“He did put thought into it… I know that. He told me days ago he was planning on making an announcement. It’s just that I put pressure on him to make the statement at a bad time. And maybe Victor doesn’t really know what he’s doing after all. Maybe he got too caught up in the soulmate situation and isn’t thinking clearly.”

“I don’t know Yuuri. I think you’re worrying about this far too much… you and I both know how easy it is for your worrying to get out of hand. Victor is your soulmate, and he clearly wants to be with you. I think he’s just trying to find a way to be closer to you Yuuri, and I’m not sure you pushing him away is the most logical response to him reaching out to you.”

“But what if this is all just a big mistake Phichit? What if he decides he doesn’t want to be with me and wants to go back to skating? What if all the negativity from the public is too much and it makes him unhappy? I told him not to come to Japan with me. Our flight leaves this afternoon.”

“What did he say when you told him not to come with?” Phichit questioned. Thinking back to his conversation with Victor was painful for Yuuri. He felt regret for what he had said, and how he had left Victor alone in the room, but he still wasn’t sure if he would take back what he had said given the chance.

“He said he wouldn’t let me leave him behind. I don’t want him to feel like I’m running away, but it feels like he’s rushing into things. I thought I would be okay with this but now that it’s time for us to actually leave I’m realizing how scary it all is.”

“I know you’re scared, and I think that’s a normal response to the situation you’re in, and I know you’re only worrying because you care about Victor and you want what’s best for him. But Yuuri, you both have to learn to trust and rely on each other. You need to trust that Victor is not making a mistake and that he has put enough thought into his decision.”

“I trust him… I think it’s more that I just don’t trust myself not to ruin this. We only met a few days ago and already I’ve caused him so much trouble.”

“I _really_ doubt he sees it that way. I think you’ve done quite the opposite of cause him trouble. I think you’ve given him a new opportunity for happiness and life.”

“Phichit, how can you tell all that? You’re not even in the same country as us. Have you even spoken to him before?”

“Yuuri! Do you doubt my ability to find all the gossip on the hottest and more decorated professional skater in the world? I thought you were my best friend!”

Yuuri laughed. He pushed his hand against the wooden desk in front of him, propelling himself and the rolling chair backwards a few feet.

“No one in the world could be more of a social media aficionado than you are. You give good advice. I’m sorry for being such a brat.”

“I can see you’re trying Yuuri. And I think I know you well enough that I’m allowed to tell you this… You’ve found something good. _Someone_ good. You’re always too hard on yourself, and even if it’s just this once, you deserve to enjoy this experience. You and Victor were made for each other… that much is evident. So embrace those nerves and go out and get your man!”

Yuuri was blushing listening to Phichit’s speech. He was embarrassed, and nervous, but he was also smiling. He reached up and touched the tip of one finger against the corner of his mouth to feel where it pinched upwards.

“Thank you Phichit. Thank you so much. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“We’re BFFs forever. The least I can do is offer some relationship advice and a pep talk in the middle of the night.”

“Oh no! I forgot about the time… it must be early morning for you now? I’m sorry for waking you up.”

Phichit laughed, “It’s no problem best friend, that’s what I’m here for. But seriously, if you’re still planning on catching that flight back today you better hurry up and talk to him.”

“You’re right. Okay, I can do this. Thank you, thank you. I’ll text you later to let you know how it went.”

“And you better tell me _everything_! NO skimping on details. And no crafty edited versions of events.”

“I know, I know. I’ll tell you everything in the full glorious details. Goodbye Phichit.”

“Goodbye buddy!”

Yuuri pressed the red icon in his phone screen to end the call. He sat still in the silence of his hotel room and noted the uncomfortable cold of distance between Victor and him creeping back into his body. The presence of the cold took hold of him and sparked a realization: _he’s getting further away. Is he leaving? Where would he go?_

 

* * *

 

Victor walked along the Sochi sidewalks alone and nervous. The wind was biting at his cheeks as he strode on aimlessly. He glanced out the corner of his eye and spotted his reflection in the glass paneling of shops lining the street. He looked unremarkable and dim, his face peeking out from the scarf he had wrapped around himself. The February sky above was mottled gray and dusty-blue. Despite his jacket, he felt the weighty cold like a stone in his abdomen.

He reached an empty park and stopped at the edge of the open space. The wind was picking up but the additional heat sink was hardly noticeable. He took a few steps towards a lamppost and leaned one shoulder against the iron pole.

He thought about how it might feel if he remained in Russia while Yuuri left on his flight to Japan. Now he had a taste of the warmth of their bond, even a small separation from his soulmate left him shivering and desperate for Yuuri’s touch.

He knew what he wanted for his future. The more he thought about it, the more certain he was of his convictions. He belonged to Yuuri. He had been waiting for Yuuri his entire life and now they had met he couldn’t imagine being apart. Victor was sympathetic to Yuuri’s concerns about his career and uncertainty about their relationship, but he had no idea how to quell his soulmate’s anxieties. What would it take to show Yuuri once and for all his dedication was absolute? Would Yuuri ever be able to fully return those feelings?

Victor considered these questions—turning them over in his mind again and again. He decided he could accept a future in which Yuuri couldn’t fully return his feelings so long as he could remain close to the other man. He would manage, be happy even, so long as they were together.

Yuuri had asked him to be his coach, and stay by his side as a lover, and Victor had been filled with so much hope and excitement at the prospect of this reality. Then everything shifted the night of the banquet. Victor wasn’t even entirely sure what had happened, just that the announcement of his retirement had hit some type of switch inside of Yuuri. The memory of that night—the panic attack and the pain of not being able help Yuuri—twisted inside of Victor’s mind, eating away at the joy and hope he held before.

He could never go back to his old life now. He had finally obtained the thing he had spent years living for—he had found Yuuri. If he had to give this up now he wouldn’t know what he would have left to look forward to. Victor crouched down in place and wrapped his arms around his knees. What should his next step be? What should he say to Yuuri? Would Yuuri even be willing to speak to him before he left for Japan? Time was running out quickly and the panic was setting in. He needed to talk to someone—to get some sort of outside perspective on the situation. He couldn’t tell if it would be worse for him to run after Yuuri or let Yuuri leave without him.

Victor slipped his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his contacts until he found Chris’ name. He pressed the number and hoped Chris was in a position to chat for a while and not busy boarding a plane or hanging out with someone else. Several rings chimed in Victor’s voice before Chris’ voice answered, “Hey, how are things going?”

“They aren’t… I guess—things are pretty bad Chris. I don’t really know what to do.”

“What happened after I left?”

Victor tried to speak but felt his voice crack as the words began to leave his mouth. He took a calming breath and squeezed his eyes closed. “Yuuri wanted to talk… and he told me not to come to Japan with him.”

“Oh,” is all Chris said in reply.

“After that he left. And now I don’t know what I should do.”

“What do you _want_ to do Victor? There are no rules when it comes to your relationship. You need to do whatever feels right.”

“I want to be with him. No matter what happens, that’s what I want more than anything else.”

“Then I think you should go after him. Tell him what you just told me. I’m sure he wants you too—I think he’s just afraid right now. That’s the impression I got from seeing him last night.”

“I’m afraid he really doesn’t want to be with me though. The way he spoke to me—I don’t know, it just seemed so final.”

“This is all really new, for the both of you. If it’s anything like when Stephane and I found each other, the only other person in the world who can truly understand what he’s going through is you. And if it’s comfort and assurance he needs, you’re the best person to be there for him.”

“I can’t imagine anything at this point other than staying by his side.”

“Then go get him Victor. This is what you want—what you need—so don’t give up yet.”

“Okay... I hope he can see how sincere I am.”

“I think he’ll be able to see it Victor.”

“Thank you Chris.”

“You would do the same for me. Call me anytime if you need to talk.”

“I will. Talk to you later.”

“See ya.”

Victor ended the call and picked himself up from his crouched position at the edge of the park. The wind was beginning to blow harder, and he was thoroughly chilled through. He turned in the direction he came from and began walking back to the hotel at a brisk pace. He glanced at the watch on his wrist. He had five hours at best before Yuuri would be boarding the flight home to Japan.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri was pacing in his hotel room, attempting to pack his bags, but getting distracted by thoughts. He was cold and sad after his fight with Victor. Could he even think of it as a fight? Yuuri had been the one to utter the stabbing words and turn a cold shoulder to his soulmate—Victor had largely sat back and taken the abuse without retaliation. Yuuri thought, _I’m being selfish. I hurt him. He doesn’t deserve this._ He glanced at the clock, _I’m running out of time. How can I make this right? Will he take me back after what I said?_ Phichit’s words from their earlier conversation surfaced, _you’ve given him a new opportunity for happiness and life_.

Yuuri spoke quietly to himself, “I have to trust Victor. I have to trust this is what he wants. This is what we both want.” He continued packing his remaining clothes and scouring the hotel room for random articles. He felt a little better—a little more focused, as if he were moving towards a tangible goal. _Find Victor. Apologize. Trust him. Relax._

When his bags were packed and piled by the door ready to go, Yuuri paused to look out the hotel room window. The sky was bleak and overcast. Wind was causing thin branches of trees below to sway just almost imperceptibly. The world outside looked cold—Yuuri stood indoors but felt cold all the same.

Yuuri reached for his phone to shoot a text off to Celestino. He hadn’t kept in contact with his coach as much as he should have since the award ceremony two days prior.

He typed, _Flight leaves in a few hours. Thanks for everything coach. I’ll keep in touch._

Celestino responded a few moments later, _Have a good flight, and enjoy your time off. I hope to see your face around the Detroit rinks again soon. You made your coach proud._

Yuuri was surprised to feel himself choke back the very first symptoms of tears. After talking to Victor about potentially having him step up as his coach, he had made the decision to let Celestino know he wouldn’t be coming back to Detroit for at least the remainder of the season, and potentially long-term.

If Victor was indeed going to step into the shoes of a coach, he wanted to take the remainder of the season off from competing so the pair could get established in a new routine and learn more about each other—as skaters and soulmates.

The new world he was about to enter—or at least he hoped he was about to enter—would be filled with unknowns. The lack of control he would have in the future was terrifying. He wasn’t used to living like that. Yuuri liked structure: schedules, plans, familiar people and places. Moving back home when he had been away for nearly four years, meeting Victor, changing coaches, being in a romantic relationship, having the attention of a global skating community directed on his specifically—these frenzied aspects of his new world loomed over him.

Yuuri gathered his belongings, several packs and a large roller back, and lugged himself out of the door to his hotel room. His next stop would be Victor’s room, but the chill that still consumed him tipped him off to the fact he would probably not find Victor waiting for him there.

He struggled with his bags as he walked down the hall and climbed on and off the elevator. He approached Victor’s room and knew with certainty his soulmate would not be on the other side of the door, but still his heartbeat raced.

He knocked quietly on the door—two small raps. There was no answer. Yuuri dropped his bags and lowered himself so he was sitting cross-legged on the floor instead. He was prepared to wait in that spot for Victor to return from wherever he had gone—hopefully it wouldn't be long. He flirted with the idea of calling Victor, but after parting in the way they did, he would rather they speak face-to-face when they first came back together. Yuuri sighed and tried to harness all the patience he had at his disposal.

He waited on the floor, with his head resting in the palms of his hands. He turned is worries and assumptions over inside his head—tried to consider each one and find a way to dismiss it. As he worked his way through the imaginary list, he felt a growing sense of confidence. He could do this—he could be the master of his own mind. He could learn how to control the negativity and harness the new opportunities in front of him.

A handful of minutes passed before Yuuri looked up again. The bottoms of his legs were beginning to warm just slightly. He concentrated on the feeling of heat—how it spread through his muscles and skin. He waited several moments, and second by second the sensation grew in intensity; Victor was moving closer to where Yuuri was, and he could feel it. He stood from his spot on the floor and paused. He wasn’t sure what to do next. He could wait in place for Victor to come up to his hotel room, but his body was itching and he could feel his anxiety rising. He needed to _do something_ with himself. If he just waited in place he was going to get worked up before Victor made it back to him.

Yuuri took off down the hall, trying to feel how his movements affected the warmth in his body. Was he getting closer or further away? How far was Victor right now? How far could their bond reach? He pressed the down arrow for the elevator and tapped his foot as he waited for he doors to open. It was taking too long and his anxiety was mounting. Yuuri turned and headed for the staircase instead.

As he moved, Yuuri thought about what he was going to say to Victor when he found him. Would he immediately apologize? Would Victor be waiting for him with outstretched arms? Or would the meeting be stilted and awkward after parting in the way they had?

As Yuuri’s feet hit the stairs beneath him, he tried to chase the worried thoughts away. All he needed to do was find Victor, and everything would work itself out once they were back together again. The body heat inside of him reached a threshold, and the sensation was once again all-consuming and inviting. It was at this point he was fairly sure Victor had just entered the hotel building. He thought about how the other man must feel the same sensation washing over him, and hoped Victor was just as eager to reconnect.

Yuuri was approaching the ground floor of the hotel. The heat was continuing to increase in his body. He burst through the final door leading into the hallway on the outskirts of the lobby and paused. He was standing in the place where he had first met Victor in person—when they had discovered they were soulmates. He waited in place, feeling the beat of his heart strong and hot against his ribcage.

Ahead of him he could watch the doors of the elevator open and close again. Half a dozen meters ahead and to the left the walls of the hallway gave way to the open expanse than was the lobby. A few people meandered around in the lobby, chatting quietly, but the level of activity could not compare to the morning of competitions several days prior.

Yuuri pressed himself up against the wall behind him and breathed deeply. The heat had spread through his veins and was circulating in his entire body. He pictured Victor’s face behind his closed eyelids and willed himself to stay calm. _Everything will be fine_ , he thought.

A moment later something blistering brushed his cheek lightly. He opened his eyes to find Victor standing before him—the older man’s eyes filled with sadness and warmth.

“Yuuri…,” he said.

Yuuri didn’t know what to say in response, could hardly comprehend that Victor had appeared in front of him so suddenly. Instead, he threw his arms forward and buried himself against Victor’s chest. Heat pulsed between their bodies like a lifeline.

Victor responded to Yuuri’s embrace by wrapping his own arms around the small man. They held each other closely for a few moments. Yuuri could feel Victor’s hot breath against the top of his head.

“Please Yuuri…,” Victor said softly.

Yuuri listened to the notes of desperation and sadness in his soulmate’s voice. Instead of replying he pushed himself up onto his toes and pressed his lips against Victor’s.

Victor kissed back, digging his fingertips into Yuuri’s sides. Yuuri reached behind Victor’s neck and twined his fingers in the short hair at the back of his head. Victor’s lips moved against his with almost aggressively; their lips parting slightly and locking around each other. When they broke apart they were both gasping for breath.

Victor was flushed and his hair was disheveled. He looked exhausted, but his eyes were burning holes into Yuuri as they looked at each other.

Yuuri gathered courage to speak. “I’m so—,” he began.

Victor interrupted him with a gentle finger against his lips. “ _Shhhh_. Come with me.”

Yuuri’s hand was taken by Victor and they began walking in the direction of the elevator. He adjusted his grip so he could interlace his fingers with Victor’s and got a small squeeze in response. They reached the elevator and as they waited for the doors to open Victor tugged Yuuri closer so that the full length of their arms were pressed against each other.

The doors slipped open and the pair stepped inside. As soon as the doors closed behind them Yuuri found himself being turned and pressed back against the wall. Then Victor’s lips were back on his own and he allowed himself to let go—to be in Victor’s arms and under his control.

In the heat of their shared kiss it was like the tension in Yuuri’s muscles melted away. He ran his hands down Victor’s sides to grip at his waist. Their bodies were pressed tight together and the heat between them flared. Yuuri was seeing red and hot orange behind his eyelids. Victor kissed him until the doors of the elevator slid open and a ding announced they had reached their destination.

They parted reluctantly to catch the door before it closed again. The men walked side by side down the hall, both of their faces were flushed, and they kept glancing at each other awkwardly. They had yet to exchange words of any real significance with each other since coming back together, and it seemed as if a few unanswered questions and uncertainties hung in the air between them.

When they reached Victor’s room Yuuri was relieved to see his luggage was still where he had left it in the hallway. Victor gestured at the bags and Yuuri nodded and added, “They’re mine. Sorry I was in a rush and decided to drop them here.”

“That’s fine,” Victor smiled. “You can bring them in my room.”

The two men managed to move all of Yuuri’s things into the hotel room and close the door behind them. There was an awkward pause before Yuuri forced himself to speak.

“I want you to come with—home with me, to Japan.”

Victor looked surprised to hear the words as they left his mouth. A spurt of panic rose in Yuuri’s throat before his soulmate broke into a smile and reached out to pull Yuuri forward. The younger man allowed himself to be held and let out a sigh of relief that Victor hadn’t changed his mind after all about coming home with him.

“I don’t want to be apart from you for even a minute Yuuri.”

Yuuri nodded against Victor’s chest. He focused on what Victor had just told him and repeated his new mantra in his mind. _I have to trust Victor means what he tells me_. He took a deep breath, enjoying inhaling Victor’s scent. The material of his shirt felt good against his face. Victor ran gentle fingers through his hair.

Yuuri spoke, “You better start packing then. We should be at the airport soon.”

Victor squeezed him tighter.

 

At the airport Yuuri fidgeted at Victor’s side nervously. He kept his gaze downcast and held Victor’s hand in his own nervously. He was worried about being in seen in public holding hands with another man. He was also nervous about being spotted by someone who recognized either Victor or himself.

Victor and Yuuri hadn’t talked much since coming back together. They had instead focused on getting the rest of Victor’s belongings packed and planning their route to the airport. Yuuri had texted Phichit and Mari in the cab ride to the airport to let his friend know how things between him and Victor were okay, and to make sure Mari was ready for two people to be arriving home instead of just one.

When Victor was out in public he seemed to put up some sort of shield—a hardened exterior that hid his true emotions and gave off an authoritative aura. He was on a phone call with someone Yuuri wasn’t familiar with. They were speaking in Russian and Yuuri was unsure if Victor’s tone sounded angry or just professional. He snuck a look at his soulmate through dark lashes and felt the older man give his hand a small squeeze in recognition.

Yuuri blushed and looked back down at his feet. He felt awkward in Victor’s presence since having their fight. He has almost expected Victor to be angry with him for how he acted and the things he had said, but Victor had shown no signs of being frustrated or annoyed. In fact, it was quite the opposite, as Victor has seemed compelled to touch and hold Yuuri more than he had before.

Yuuri often flinched or pulled back when Victor moved towards him. He silently berated himself each time he did and had to see the flicker of hurt in Victor’s face. He wasn’t that he didn’t want the touch of his soulmate, or that he was afraid of Victor, but a part of him was still in disbelief that he deserved these types of interactions. He felt inadequate and apologetic for being the person destined to be with Victor.

But still, Victor stood at his side and held his hand. He was about to fly half way across the world and leave behind everything he had ever known just so he could stay by Yuuri’s side. He had accepted him back into his arms without question or hesitation. Yuuri was willing to fight against the forces in his own mind threatening to drag him down. He wanted to do anything he could to make Victor happy. The would be one of the most challenging matches of his lifetime—an attempt to overcome the reservations he had always held against himself—and allow himself to pursue his own happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me longer to get up than I hoped (I say this every time).
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading and waiting patiently! <3


	9. Embers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already, please take note of the rating change <3

When Yuuri and Victor stepped off the plane in Hasetsu a small group of smiling people were waiting in the airport, clutching hand-made signs that read _ヴィカトル_ _~ ユーリ！おかえり！！_

Yuuri smiled at the sight of the friends and family that had gathered to welcome him home. Victor was a few steps behind Yuuri and was operating more hesitantly than was typical of his character. Yuuri figured it was due to the new environment—the sudden onslaught of a foreign language, the fact that they were back in Yuuri’s home range and Victor would now be reliant on others in order to communicate and get around. Victor was used to having to travel the world, and he was often in places where he couldn’t understand the language, so maybe that wasn’t the sole reason for the man’s hesitancy. Perhaps it had more to do with nervousness at the idea of meeting the small group of people who had gathered to welcome them. Yuuri turned to face his soulmate, a blush on his cheeks, and pointed towards the group, “Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Victor swallowed and nodded his head in response. He did look nervous after all. Yuuri waited for Victor to catch up with him and turned to speak to his parents first in Japanese, “Mom, Dad—I’m home. Thank you for waiting so long for me.”

Hiroko smiled and extended her arms asking for a hug and Toshiya stepped forward to pat his son on the back. Yuuri raised his voice to address the rest of the group, this time in English.

“Hi everyone. Thanks for coming to welcome us.” Yuuri breathed in and turned slightly to gesture towards Victor, “As I’m sure you all know, this is Victor. He’s going to be staying with us.”

A high-pitched squeal emerged from the back of the group and Yuuri recognized the voice as belonging to Yuuko. A deep blush settled on his cheeks and he turned back to Victor quickly.

“These are my parents, Hiroko and Toshiya,”—Yuri bit his lip and in a quieter voice continued,—“but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you called them Mom and Dad.”

Victor’s eyes lit up at the sound of these words. Yuuri continued with his introductions,

“This is my sister Mari.” She gave a small smile, or was it a smirk—Yuuri wasn’t sure—and waved at Victor.

“It’s nice to meet you, please take care of him,” Mari directed her practiced English at Victor.

Yuuri continued speaking as soon as Mari had finished.

“This is Minako, my old ballet instructor and family friend, and Yuuko and her husband Takeshi, also childhood friends of mine.”

When Yuuri was finished going over everyone’s names he took a step back and watched as Victor smiled and moved towards the group.

“It’s so nice to meet everyone, I’m excited to be here with Yuuri.”

Multiple people chimed in at once.

“Welcome Victor!”

“We’re so excited to have you here.”

“I can’t believe it worked out like this.”

Then Hiroko extended a hand and took Victor’s in her own. She smiled and moved his hand so it rested just above her heart. Victor’s face flushed.

He stuttered, “Th-thank you.”

“Well let’s get going, I’m tired of standing around in the airport,” Mari interjected.

Outside the airport there was one older hatchback that couldn’t possibly seat everyone in their group, plus all the baggage Victor and Yuuri had brought with.

“Victor and Yuuri why don’t you ride with Mom and Dad and we will walk back together,” Mari said gesturing to Minako.

“We need to be off too, we left the triplets at home, but we’ll be back soon to see you both!” Yuuko added. The married couple gave a wave before turning to head in the other direction.

Yuuri spoke, “Mari it’s okay. You two ride with Mom and Dad back and we’ll walk. I want to show Victor around a bit anyway.”

Mari thought for a moment, “Fine, but at least put your bags in the car so you’re no dragging them through town on your way back. And don’t wander too long, we’re going to eat soon.”

“We’ll make it quick,” Yuuri assured.

Victor cleared his throat, “I appreciate the hospitality. I’ll make sure not to monopolize too much of Yuuri’s time.”

Mari laughed, “That’s not what I’m worried about. I’ve known Yuuri all his life. It’s you I want a chance to get to know… so expect some questions.”

Victor smirked, “Are you threatening me with a shovel talk so soon?”

Yuuri hissed, “Stop it Mari! Please just act normal.”

Mari laughed and reached forward to rub the top of Yuuri’s head. “Put your things in the car and we’ll meet you back at the inn.”

The boys loaded their bags and thanked Yuuri’s parents for the help. They watched the car drive away and up the road. The silence that was left behind made Yuuri feel uneasy. He still wasn't quite sure what to say to Victor or how to act towards him after their argument and subsequent apologies. They should be on good terms now, and Yuuri was determined to stay in control of his anxieties, but their interactions were still stilted. It was as if both of them were tiptoeing around each other—desperate to get closer to the other person but terrified of making a wrong step.

Victor hummed low and turned to Yuuri, “So are you going to take me on a tour?”

“Yeah… I mean, if you want me to. We can just go home if you want.”

“I want to see your town Yuuri. Show me everything that’s important to you.”

Yuuri thought a moment before replying, “Alright. We can walk up to the rink and then go home from there. That way you’ll know how to get there and back.”

“Sounds perfect, lead the way!”

They walked side by side, not quite touching, but close nevertheless. The air was chilly, but not nearly as cold as it had been in Sochi. Yuuri could feel the heat radiating from Victor as they walked.

When they reached Ice Castle Yuuri gestured towards the front doors. “I would take you inside but I don’t have a key anymore. We can come back tomorrow if you want.”

Victor nodded, “That’s fine. I love seeing the place where you grew up skating.”

Yuuri blushed, “It’s nothing special, but it’s a place that means a lot to me.” He turned to begin walking in the direction of his family’s inn when he felt something catch his arm. He turned around to see Victor staring at him—his mouth was open slightly as if he had been about to say something but stopped himself last minute.

Yuuri paused and waited for Victor to make another move or say something. The hand that had caught his arm burned through the material of his jacket.

When he spoke, his voice had a melancholy ring, “Is this okay? That I’m here.”

Yuuri shivered. The heat from Victor’s touch felt nice. All around them Hasetsu was silent.

“This is okay,” came Yuuri’s reply. Then without thinking Yuuri darted his free hand forward to grab Victor’s other arm. He pulled the older man forward until they were only inches apart. He moved his arms upward to wrap them around Victor’s neck. The other man leaned down to meet his lips in a kiss.

Yuuri broke away from the kiss and pressed his face against the inside of Victor’s neck. He could feel the pulse of heat spread out from his soulmate’s skin with every beat of his heart. They stood like that for a long moment—Yuuri’s body hummed with electricity. The streetlights overhead cast shadows on the damp pavement below. He could hear the whirr of machinery coming from the cooling units in the roof of Ice Castle. Victor’s breathing was steady and deep.

Yuuri whispered against Victor’s neck, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“What is happening?” the other man asked.

“That you’re here, with me. That we’re… _together_.”

Victor hummed and moved a hand up to cradle the back of Yuuri’s head. “I’ve waited so long to be together with you.”

Yuuri sighed against Victor’s skin, “I dreamt about you for so long. Two versions of you—Victor Nikiforov, the skating legend, and the unnamed version of you—the soulmate I had yet to meet.”

Victor pressed two fingertips against Yuuri’s jaw and tilted his head up so they were face to face. The older man placed a gentle kiss on Yuuri’s lips. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Yuuri blushed and pulled away slowly. “We should start heading home soon.”

 

* * *

 

When the couple passed through the doors of the inn Victor was greeted by the scent of cooking food. The building was quiet and warm—a welcome reprieve from the chill outside. Yuuri called out in Japanese, stepped out of his shoes, and shrugged off his outer layers. Victor followed suit.

His eyes traced the form of Yuuri as he moved about in front of him. His body language had shifted as soon as they entered the inn—he seemed more relaxed, his stance more open. Victor resisted the urge to reach out and touch. He wanted to wrap his arms around Yuuri. He felt a tug in his chest—like a filament tied to his sternum, anchoring him to his soulmate.

A moment later Yuuri’s mother appeared and greeted both of them with a smile and outstretched arms. She reached forward and took each of their hands. The boys were guided forward and towards a small table where several dishes had been set out ahead of time. Yuuri spoke to his mother a moment before turning back to Victor.

“We should hurry and eat this and then head to bed. My mom prepared a room for you down the hall.”

Victor nodded and settled on the floor at the edge of the table. “A room just for me?” He laughed slightly as he said this, feigning amusement at the idea of sleeping in a bed alone, when in reality the idea of spending the night away from Yuuri made him sick to his stomach.

“Well… you are the guest. My parents wouldn’t have you sleeping on my floor.”

Victor fiddled with the chopsticks set in front of him. “You say that like I wouldn’t want to sleep on the floor of your childhood bedroom.”

“Victor, you’re not sleeping on the floor,” Yuuri whined.

Victor chuckled, “I’m only kidding. But really, having a room all to myself is too much. I don’t like sleeping alone.”

Yuuri chewed a mouthful of rice before speaking. “If you don’t want to be alone… I can stay with you.”

“Yes, I absolutely want that.”

Victor took a bite of his own rice and watched Yuuri out of the corner of his eye. The younger man’s face was flushed red and he stared intently at the table in front of him.

They finished their meals in silence and carried the dishes into the kitchen to be washed. Yuuri’s mother shooed them away from the sink and gave them each warm smiles. Yuuri scratched the back of his neck and pointed towards a hallway.

“Your room is this way.”

Victor pouted, “I thought we decided it’s wasn’t only my room.”

Yuuri sighed, “Okay, the room we’ll be staying in is over here.”

Victor smiled and reached out to Yuuri. He was relieved when the other man leaned into his touch and allowed Victor to pull him close.

Yuuri rested his cheek against Victor’s chest. “Do you want to bathe before sleeping?”

Victor slumped in place, using Yuuri as a prop to support his body weight. “I’m soooo tiiiirred Yuuri. Can’t we just sleep?”

“You can, but I feel disgusting after the plane ride so I’m going to shower at least.”

Victor whined and leaned more heavily on Yuuri who whimpered slightly under the weight. “Shower with meeeeee.”

There was no reply from Yuuri and Victor figured if he were to look up at the other man’s face it would sport a red hue.

“I—I can… if you want… uh,” Yuuri stuttered.

“It’s okay, I was joking Yuuri.” Victor got back to his feet and brushed Yuuri’s bangs back from his face. “You don’t have to do anything for me that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine. I’m not uncomfortable.”

Victor smiled, “So that’s a yes?”

Yuuri’s blush deepened and he looked away. When he spoke his words were mumbled, “Let’s shower together then.”

The next moment Victor was being led down the hall by the hand. Yuuri moved quickly and gave off an aura of determination. He was led to the end of the hall and then left through a door. They couple stood in a tiled room. Victor spotted a shower head and smirked, “that was fast.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes. “Undress,” he commanded.

Victor balked at the sudden shift in tone, but did as he was told nonetheless. He pulled hs shirt up and over his head in a swift moment and watched closely as Yuuri’s eyes trailed over his exposed skin. A moment later he let his jeans fall to the floor and kicked them off to the side of the room.

“Do you plan on showering in your clothes Yuuri?”

The younger man jumped at the sudden words and adverted his eyes from Victor’s body. “You go first, I’ll get ready in a second.”  
Victor reached down to pull off his socks, and in one final movement, removed his boxers. Yuuri was making a point of looking away now. He was fiddling the hem at the bottom of his own shirt. Victor turned his attention to the knobs of the shower and adjusted the temperature of the water until it was comfortably warm. He stepped under the stream and let it trail through his hair.

He was surprised to feel a pair of arms wrap around his waist, and then Yuuri tugged him back against his body. Victor could feel lips graze against the back of his shoulder and he shuddered at the sensation.

Hands ran up his sides and left burning trails behind. Victor placed a palm against the wall of the shower and closed his eyes. The feeling of Yuuri’s touch on his bare skin was overwhelming. Blood rushed through his body. His muscles buzzed with heat and anticipation. He felt his own breathing quicken.

Then the heat was lost and Victor was left reeling. His eyes spring open. The water from the shower felt cold against his skin. He turned quickly to find Yuuri still standing behind him. The younger man had a panicked look on his face—Victor was reminded of the night after the banquet. His eyes locked on Yuuri’s and he froze, not knowing what to do, not wanting to make a wrong move.

Yuuri was breathing hard. His pupils were large and his skin damp with water and flushed red. His hair was pushed back from his face and dripping water into his back and shoulders. Victor watched as Yuuri took in a few deep breaths—it looked like he was attempting to calm himself down—his hands were trembling slightly.

Victor acted on instinct, reaching out. Yuuri bit his lip and then seemed to make up his mind at once.

Victor gasped as Yuuri’s fingers tangled themselves in his hair and his face was yanked down into a crushing kiss. His hands wrapped around Yuuri’s waist and pressed into the bare skin. He fought to suppress a moan as Yuuri’s teeth scraped at his lower lip, followed by a burning swipe of his tongue. Their bodies pressed tightly together and water cascaded around them. Victor felt himself growing hard. As his body moved against Yuuri, he felt the other man’s arousal building as well.

They pulled apart to gasp for air, and water from the shower stream trailed into Victor’s open mouth. He pushed Yuuri back until he was against the wall of the shower and gazed at the sight of the man coming apart in front of his eyes.

Yuuri whimpered, “Victor please.”

Victor attached his mouth to Yuuri’s neck—sucking at the flesh and trailing his fingers from their place on his hips, down his thighs, and back up and over his ass. Yuuri’s whimpers grew louder and Victor moved one hand up to cover his mouth gently. “Shhhhh, Yuuri, you wouldn’t want your parents hearing this.”

The younger man seemed to take note of Victor’s words and bit down on his lip to quiet himself. Victor gripped the firm muscles of Yuuri’s ass and bit down on the skin of the bend between the other man’s neck and shoulder. He sucked the spot until a red mark began to blossom below his skin. Yuuri placed one of his own hands over his mouth and jutted his hips forward in an attempt to gain more contact.

Victor kissed the mark he had just left and smirked as Yuuri squirmed and released quiet whines. He allowed his hand to trail achingly slow across Yuuri’s skin and towards his quickly hardening erection. When he wrapped his hand around the length Yuuri’s knees buckled and Victor had to catch him with his other hand to prevent him from falling.

Victor hoisted the young man up and pressed him tight against himself as he began to move his hands in even strokes. Yuuri clawed at Victor’s neck and back, pressing his lips against his lover’s chest and moaning out Victor’s name. Victor removed his hand from Yuuri’s cock and used it to tilt his face up so he could access his lips. Yuuri’s face was flushed a deep red and his eyes were held closed. Water from the shower sprayed down and trailed through the hair sleeked back from his face. His was mouth parted just slightly, his lips plush. Victor kissed him gently—working his mouth against the other man’s slowly, and turned his attention back to stroking Yuuri.

Yuuri moaned into Victor’s mouth—never pulling away from the kiss. Victor delighted in the aching heat thrumming through his body. His skin felt almost sore from the intensity of the warmth, but the pain was not entirely unpleasant—the greater the burn, the more intoxicating the sensation. Both men were panting and shaking as Victor began to work Yuuri faster. The other man had gone almost completely limp—barely clinging to Victor and relying on his strength for support.

Soon Yuuri was crying Victor’s name as he came into his hand. The water washed their skin clean as they clung together. Yuuri’s eyes were closed and Victor scooped him up in his arms before shutting off the shower clumsily with his elbow.

“Time to get you to bed.”

Yuuri hummed quietly, not producing coherent words. 

Victor shifted the exhausted man in his arms and snatched towels from a shelf near the door.

“Can you stand a moment Yuuri? Just so you can get dried off, then we’ll go to bed.”

Yuuri nodded meekly and allowed Victor to set him on his feet. The older man used a towel to wick away most of the water from the younger man’s hair and then proceeded to wipe his shoulders and chest. Yuuri whined, “I can dry myself you know.” He was blushing and looking up at Victor through his lashes.

Victor smiled and leaned forward to kiss his forehead, draping the towel around Yuuri’s shoulders as he did so. They continued drying off, wrapped their towels around their waists, and gathered their dirty clothes in their arms to carry to the bedroom. Yuuri peaked out the bathroom door first to make sure no one was around to witness the couple exiting the bathroom at the same time.

They slipped into the spare room that had been prepared in advance for Victor. Someone had already brought in their bags—both sets—and left them stacked near the closet. Victor wondered if that meant someone in Yuuri’s family was already aware of the fact they had been spending some alone time together in the shower. He glanced over at his soulmate to find him blushing and looking a little unnerved, and assumed Yuuri had been having similar thoughts.

Yuuri cleared his throat, “I’ll just get dressed in my pajamas.”

Victor watched Yuuri kneeled in front of one of his bags to unzip it and rifle through folded shirts. Victor followed suit but decided to simply dawn a pair of boxers rather than a more conservative outfit. He was excited by the idea of sleeping so close to Yuuri—relishing the skin on skin contact.

 

* * *

 

Once dressed Yuuri turned around to find Victor sitting cross-legged on the bed in nothing more than a pair of boxers. He was scrolling through his phone, his head resting on one hand. Yuuri walked to the edge of the queen-sized bed and rested one knee against the mattress. The movement on the bed alerted Victor of his presence and he glanced up at Yuuri with a smile.

“You look exhausted,” Victor patted the spot beside him.

Yuuri nodded and climbed forward on the mattress until he was seating beside Victor. They were both still sitting on top of the comforter.

Victor reached over to lay his hand on top of Yuuri’s, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

Victor laced his fingers with Yuuri’s and gave a small tug, “For letting me be so close to you—for opening up to me.”

Yuuri shook his head and tried to hide his blush with his other hand. His body was still burning from their recent activities. His eyes ached to close for the night. He peeked at Victor from between his fingers and found the other man studying him and smiling softly.

“Ah Victor…” he was nearly whispering, “I’m sorry you didn’t get to—uh, you know… you took care of me—in the shower—but I didn’t do anything for you in return.”

Victor started at him for a moment, apparently processing his words, before raising his eyebrows in what looked like understanding and smiling.

“Oh no Yuuri, don’t worry about that,” he chuckled, “seeing and touching you is more than enough for me.”

Yuuri felt his face burning hotter than it had been a moment before. He turned and flopped onto his stomach, burring his face in the pillow and turning his head away from Victor. He could hardly believe they had just gone so far in the shower—and he had been the one to initiate it even. Yuuri wasn’t quite sure what had come over him in the moment, but when the urge hit him to monopolize Victor’s attention in that way, there had been no stopping himself.

He felt a gentle hand at the small of his back and then fingers slowly easing under his t-shirt. Victor rubbed his thumb across Yuuri’s skin slowly. He could feel himself succumbing to his exhaustion and the soothing touch.

“Come here,” Victor whispered and pulled Yuuri to himself. They arranged themselves so they were able to slip under the blankets of the bed. Yuuri allowed himself to be held against Victor’s body and moments later he was slipping into sleep.

 

 

When Yuuri woke he found himself in the same position he had been in when he fell asleep. It felt like only moments before he had drifted off in his soulmate’s arms, and neither Victor nor himself had shifted much in their sleep. The sounds of deep steady breathing coming from behind him suggested Victor was still asleep. Yuuri remained still for several minutes, too afraid to move and wake Victor. Light was streaming in through the sheer curtains covering the large window in the room.

If he concentrated he could hear noises of his family chatting and preparing breakfast in the kitchen. He wanted to be out of bed and ready before his mother or sister decided to come searching for him. Gingerly Yuuri tried to wiggle out of Victor’s arms without waking him, but his movements only prompted the sleeping man to tighten his hold. Yuuri sighed and instead turned over in Victor’s arms to face the man.

Victor’s face looked peaceful and ungraded as he slept. Yuuri thought he looked much younger than his actual age. He studied the angles of the man’s nose and the curve of his lips. His eyelashes were long and the light-colored hairs caught the morning light in a way that made them appear to glow. Yuuri wiggled an arm free and reached one finger towards Victor’s cheek, but resisted the temptation to touch his skin.

He whispered, “Victor.”

Yuuri waited, but Victor continued to sleep. He spoke louder, “Victor, it’s morning.”

The older man scrunched his nose slightly. Yuuri took that as a sign he was beginning to wake up. In a moment of bravery he learned forward and kissed Victor lightly.

Blue eyes flew open and hit Yuuri with their gaze. Then Victor’s expression softened and he pulled the younger man closer to him.

“Good morning,” he uttered in a sleepy voice.

Yuuri answered, “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

Victor hummed, “I don’t think I’ve ever slept better.”

Yuuri smiled and allowed himself to be squeezed by Victor a moment longer.

“We should get out of bed before someone comes looking for us.”

Victor pouted but released Yuuri from his grasp nevertheless. They spent a moment digging through their suitcases to find clean clothes and then walked together to the bathroom to wash and brush their teeth.

Yuuri couldn’t stop staring at Victor as he moved around in the house where he had grown up. It felt like a dream seeing Victor in the flesh, in this house where Yuuri had spent his childhood watching him perform on television, and tacked posters of Victor to his bedroom walls. Victor didn’t behave how Yuuri had always imagined he would. He hummed to himself as he brushed his teeth and bobbed his head in time to some unknown song running through his mind.

Yuuri had spent the whole night pressed up against Victor’s bare skin. He had kissed this man and come completely undone in front of him. They had only officially known each other for days but it felt more like a lifetime. Yuuri found himself trembling lightly as these thoughts filtered through his mind.

Victor turned and noticed him staring at him.

“Yuuri, are you okay? You look upset.”

Yuuri shook his head, “I’m fine. Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking about.”

Victor closed the distance between them and pulled Yuuri close. His body was warm and inviting.

“I can’t believe you’re here—in my bathroom.”

Victor laughed, “A lot has happened in the past few days.”

Yuuri nodded, “Let’s go get breakfast.”

The table was once again set with food and waiting for them by the time they made it out to the common area. When Hiroko spotted them she clapped her hands together and smiled. Mari was leaning against a nearby wall with a small smile on her face. A few feet away her husband sat in an arm chair reading a newspaper.

“Hello Kenji,” Yuuri said.

The other man turned and smiled, “Yuuri! It’s been such a long time!”

They chatted back and forth a few moments before Yuuri gestured for Victor to sit at the table. Yuuri sat close beside Victor—not quite touching—but near enough to suggest they may be more than just close friends sharing a meal together.

 

 

In the days following, Yuuri made an effort to get Victor acquainted with as much of Hasetsu as possible. They spent their afternoons wandering aimlessly, visiting the beaches and small shops selling various snacks and souvenirs. Yuuri was finally able to give Victor a grand tour of Ice Castle and groaned when Yuuko made a point of directing the older skater’s attention to the display case near the entrance where various photos of young Yuuri, as well medals and trophies he had won in years past, were being displayed.

Victor faced each new day with wonder. He asked questions about everything unfamiliar, and made Yuuri laugh as he ran through town pointing out anything he found interesting, and greeting every stranger that crossed his path. Yuuri watched Victor become more comfortable navigating on his own. Two weeks into their stay in Japan Victor began referring to Hasetsu as home, but instead of making Yuuri happy, this shift in Victor triggered the return of negative thoughts.

After Victor had announced his retirement and disappeared from the skating scene the news outlets had blown up with allegations about his reasons for retirement and his current whereabouts. As much as Victor was enjoying exploring the new environment and spending time with the Katsuki family, Yuuri sometimes caught him frowning as he read something on his phone, or suffering from feelings of restlessness when Yuuri was unable to be at his side.

He knew no matter how much Victor wanted to be in Japan with Yuuri, he didn’t belong in Hasetsu. Victor had a large personality, and Hasetsu was a small place. Yuuri felt like the honeymoon period of their coming-together was beginning to fade away, and he was terrified Victor would soon realize following Yuuri to Japan and walking away from his career were mistakes.

Three weeks after arriving in Japan, Yuuri and Victor spent the afternoon at Ice Castle working on some light training. Yuuri was having a hard time putting his full effort into his skating. He wouldn’t be competing for the remainder of the season and Victor was beginning to show signs of irritation at Yuuri’s lack of enthusiasm.

“Show me that spin again. Your body is folding in on itself when you move—I need to see you tackle this spin with confidence. I know you can do this Yuuri.”

Yuuri stood out on the ice. He was trembling slightly—his body felt like it was made of jelly. He _couldn’t_ do this. Not now. He was about to give up.

The thoughts swirled in his mind _. Victor was dissatisfied with Yuuri’s skating. Victor was growing tired of Yuuri’s hometown. Victor was restless without the promises of skating another season, new routines, always surprising his audience. Yuuri was failing him as a student, as a partner, as a soulmate._

Victor skated out to where Yuuri stood frozen and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Yuuri—is everything okay? Do you need to take a break?”

Yuuri couldn’t reply. He wobbled on his skates. Victor placed another hand on him to steady him.

“Off the ice—now,” he commanded, “you look unwell.”

Yuuri allowed himself to be led to the edge of the rink. Victor helped him snap his skate guards into place and led him to a bench to sit.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked—concern clearly seeping into his voice.

Yuuri shook his head, “You have to leave.”

Victor stared at him, “Pardon?”

Yuuri scrunched his eyes closed in an attempt to prevent tears from pooling.

“You have to leave Hasetsu—leave Japan. You should go home. I can tell this is the wrong place for you.”

“I don’t understand, Yuuri—why would you say that?”

Yuuri bent forward, wrapping his arms around his head.

“Please Victor, just listen to me. I see you every day. You don’t look happy here. You’re being suffocated by this place—we have nothing to offer you hear. I have nothing to offer you.”

“Yuuri please… we’ve already gone over this. I have everything I want and need here with you.”

Yuuri snapped, “You don’t know what you’re saying!”

Victor recoiled at hearing such a sharp tone coming from his lover.

Yuuri spoke with intensity, “I’ve watched you from afar all my life. I’ve seen you come alive on the ice. How you practically glow when you’re skating because you’re doing what you love. You said you wanted to be with me, and that coming here would make you happy, but I’ve watched how you’ve faded since being here. And I can’t offer you whatever it is that you need—at least not right now.”

Victor shook his head, “You’re wrong… I can’t imagine being anywhere other than here with you.”

Yuuri could feel his frustrations rising, “I don't care! I can’t stand watching you like this. Something needs to change because this is not working.”

Victor was bouncing his knee. He looked terrified as Yuuri vented his feelings of helplessness.

When Yuuri imagined Victor leaving, he felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. He didn’t want to be left alone, and he didn’t want to not be good enough for Victor. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t seem to latch onto whatever it was that would allow him to do as much for Victor as Victor did for him.

“I wont go anywhere without you,” Victor’s voice was deeper than usual—more authoritative.

Yuuri shook his head. He didn’t understand why Victor was fighting him so much on this. He was clearly unhappy in Hasetsu—why wouldn’t he use this opportunity to leave and return to the world of skating, where he was missed him so desperately?

Victor placed a hand on Yuuri’s back and softened his voice.

“Please listen to me Yuuri. Look at me when I tell you this.”

Yuuri’s gaze didn’t waver from the spot on the floor where he was staring. Victor sighed and brought his hand to Yuuri’s face, brushing away locks of hair from his eyes.

“Please look at me—this is important.”

Yuuri didn’t want to look at Victor—didn’t want to have to see the hurt and frustration in the other man’s eyes. Victor trailed his fingers down Yuuri’s jaw and under his chin. He tilted his head up so they were looking at each other—Yuuri did nothing to resist. When he met Victor’s eyes the expression held there was much softer than he had anticipated.

Victor studied his face. Yuuri gazed back, not knowing what to expect. The set of Victor’s eyes was stern but concerned, his mouth pinched but not angry. When he spoke, his voice was low and controlled and Yuuri felt the words reverberate in his skull.

“I love you Yuuri. I’m in love with you.”

Then Yuuri felt himself blinking back tears. The moment struck him as if Victor’s words had been a whip. He felt like he was choking. He had not expected Victor to tell him that he was in love with him—it was the first time either of them had said it out loud. Yuuri had loved Victor for years, but still he hadn’t been able to bring himself to mutter those words.

Victor gave Yuuri a moment, but when he didn’t respond he continued talking in his steady voice.

“I know you have your doubts, and I’m truly sorry that you carry this pain with you. I promise you I love you and I want to be with you more than I want anything else. I wont go anywhere you can’t come with me. I wont do anything that takes me away from you.”

Yuuri swallowed and felt hot tears begin to slip from his eyes. His voice was weak when he tried to speak, “Victor… I want to see you happy—vibrant again, like you were when I watched you in the past.”

“I am happy Yuuri.”

“There must be something more. This can’t be the end for Victor Nikiforov. I don’t want to be the reason everything ends for you.”

Victor sighed, “What is it that you think I should do Yuuri? I don’t want to compete anymore I’ve told you—”

Yuuri interrupted, “I think you should go back to St. Petersburg.”

Victor looked angry for a moment and then his expression softened. “I could only go back if you were to come with me. And you shouldn’t have to do that—you wouldn’t know the language, you wouldn’t know anyone besides me.”

Yuuri saw his opening and jumped at it, “You came here! You risked everything to come here and there’s _nothing here_ for you.”

Victor shook his head, “That’s different… I came here for you.”

“I’ll go with you!” Yuuri grabbed Victor’s hand, “Please.”

“What? Think of this seriously…” Victor pulled Yuuri closer.

“I’m thinking about it seriously… please go back, and take me with you. This is what I want. I think this is the best solution.”

Victor paused to think. Yuuri watched his face for any signs he was about to crack and give into Yuuri’s requests. He felt like he couldn’t live with himself unless he found a way to help Victor live the life he truly deserved.

“I’ll think about it,” Victor said at last.

In that moment, those words were enough for Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk how many chapters this is going to be anymore lol I thought I knew but it's looking like I was wrong.
> 
> Sorry if this chapter ended in a weird spot... I had more planned but it wasn't working and I figured it would be better to get something out now rather than wait for me to struggle with the next few scenes and delay the update more.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> <3 
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://sumimuramo.tumblr.com/)


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